Emily

Emily Apr 2014

When I think about us
And how we always seem to argue
I get sick to my stomach
I can't fight the tears
We push each other's buttons
And anger each other on purpose
That isn't how true love works
And that frightens me more than anything
Where is this coming from
Why are we deteriorating
It feels as though the wind has been knocked out of me
And I am suffocating
I can't imagine my life without you
I want you and your happiness
But all I seem to feel is rejected
I never feel good enough
I never feel a spark when we touch
It's like our love has died
And taken part of my soul with it

Emily Apr 2014

Downhill

What a mistake I made
Investing my love
Devoting my time
Into someone so incapable of loving another
You don't even love yourself
So depressed, you want to die
It happens to the best of us
But that's no reason to give up
I shouldn't have been selfish
I should have just been the friend you needed
But instead I pursued something more than just friendship
And it's led me to being so hurt and alone
You're much younger than me
You're not really committed to me
I'm such a fool
For almost falling for you
I need to step back now
Before the damage grows
You're not ready for this
You can't give me what I want
I want your all
Every little piece of you
Emotional and physical
But you're not ready for that
And now I must take a step back
I love you and always will
But you're not ready for this
And it's all going downhill

Emily Apr 2014

Your Ghost

Nothing will ever diminish
The light that you gave me
When you were alive
The laughter we shared
The tears of uncontrolled joy
The endless stares and loving looks
Full of compassion and affection
Nothing can replace the special intimacy
That we shared only with each other
You were my true soul mate
These days without you, I'm forced to move on
I can't live my life in the dark
Always wondering what could have been
I already know what was
And what we had the potential to be
But you left me
The most horrible tragedy
The pain has attempted to subside
Over all this time
But I've never truly been able
To rid myself of the remembrance of you
Your ghost remains
Following me like a shadow
I invite it to come along
My only wish is that it was your flesh, your body
And I could hold you all night long
We never got to say goodbye

Wrote this as I listened to the song "Your Ghost" by Greg Laswell on repeat.

© Naomi 2014

Emily Apr 2014

Blessed

I like how by just seeing his face
It makes me smile
I love how he makes me forget
How insecure I am
His outpouring of love fills my heart
Healing me of the negativity
Making it easier to wake up every morning
He gives me life
He makes me shine
I wish to thank him in all ways
And do for him the same

Emily Apr 2014

I Won't

When you ignore me
I'm stabbed with disappointment
And plagued with loneliness
Why do you do it
I don't get it
I thought this was love
I thought this was real
I guess to you, it's all a joke
I can't put myself through it again
I won't

Emily Apr 2014

The Only Girl

There's a girl in my head
I can't get her out
She's the only one
I've ever thought about

I want to know how she is
What she does in her spare time
I want to know how she talks
If her voice is anything like mine

I want to feel her lips
And wrap my arms around her
She's so worthy of love
I bet she tastes like sugar

The worst part of this all
Is that she is a stranger
I'll probably never know her
And that fills me up with anger

But mainly it tears me up
It really breaks my heart
Because I'm so passionate about her
And we'll always be apart

Emily Apr 2014

Tragic Love

Sometimes, I really miss you
And missing you makes me feel like ****
Because you don't deserve to be missed
You guilt tripped me for so long
Over something I did
Over the same thing you were doing
But on a much larger scale
I can't deny that I developed strong feelings for you
Even though everything turned out to be a lie
But somewhere on the inside
Those feelings haven't managed to die
They're just buried very deep
They weigh me down and make me weak
I wish you would get over yourself
So we can come to terms with reality
And get to know each other again
We had a tragic love
And we both know deep down
That nothing can ever compare
I don't want to reach out
I have before and it filled me with more doubt
Even though it was just a sham
A scam to the purest of sorts
I wish I could go back
And relive it once more
Because I miss the feelings of passion and bliss
The feelings we shared for each other
I want your poison infiltrating my veins once more