The acid
Slipped in between
Those innumerable thoughts
And collided with
The astringent taste
Of those bitter sweet words
Trying to find a way out
With modesty
The insipid semblance
On its way
To destroy the
Sanctity of the place
From both ways
It's just the pretence
Which is allowing
The situation to be
Handled fluidly
We're both equally intoxicated.

In an enigmatic way
I let you in
The day I put the words
On paper
Vulnerability existed
I could hear my shadows scream
And chasing pavements
My heart sinking like a
Colossal wreck
Staring aimlessly
Wandering uncounsciously
The duality betrothed  
With the emptiness
I'm still anticipating
For a transformation
Of this emotional trauma
It seems as if those
People are just drifting apart
Leaving me behind
In this frivolous state
I still don't know the intention
Of this unwilling soul

Is it just wanting to descend into a state of chaos?

1.Sight

Beauty looks like protruding bones
Photoshop, and makeup to cover tired eyes
Girls in magazines who emanate elegance
Even though the perfect girls are only a guise
That's what beauty looks like

2. Hearing

Beauty sounds like that girl you hardly know saying "*** you've lost so much weight!"
You feel happy for a split second even though you don't see it
It's standing up a little straighter when hearing someone call, "You look really great."
But the voices still say "It's not enough."
That's what beauty sounds like

3. Taste

Beauty tastes like diet coke, since it's the only thing you'll drink
Tastes like bile and the salty tears running down your cheeks
After you just puked
It tastes like binging food that you bought really cheap
That's what beauty tastes like

4. Smell

Beauty smells like febreze mixed with *****
In a pathetic attempt to hide what you just did
It smells like a million foods vying for your attention
But keeping self control even though you want to quit
That's what beauty smells like

5. Touch

Beauty feels like running your hands across your collar bone
Because it gives you the illusion you're thin
It feels like your stomach releasing an overdue groan
Because you've been eating as if there is a famine
It feels like grabbing the fat on your body while your mind complains
Beauty is feeling the knife in your back reminding you
"Beauty is pain."

She remembers when she was little
In school they'd warn against using drugs and smoking
Used to scare us with statistics and facts
She promised herself she'd never smoke or do drugs
Why would anyone ruin their life like that?

Fast forward 10 years, she kept her promise so far
She's obsessed with another kind of self destruction though
She cuts her skin, purges, and starves
She feels sympathy for people who do drugs and smoke
After all, they're just numbing the pain