Frozen,
I lay still
under the fallen snow and
wait,
for the sun to kiss my blue
lips,
and release me from my icy grave

They left me here,
to die
wilt away into nothingness,
just like the others
but the cold keeps me solid
keeps me awake and aware
and as I peer through my snowy bed
I see only a sea of white
A frozen abyss
and a place of perpetual dreaming

I will wait here,
like a snake in the grass
for my sun to return
to melt away these frozen chains
and release me from this place of rest

No matter how long,
I will keep my faith
through the endless grey
and the moonless nights
I won't give up hope
because the light will shine again,
this much I know.

You have a dead heart
cold and lifeless
taking space in your chest
repugnant and rotting,
I can smell death on your skin

I tried to give you mine,
hands shaking and body breaking
I held it to your lips
and said swallow

But instead you spat
and kicked it to the floor
Because your dead heart
didn't understand what it was for

I tried to put it back,
cram it down my throat
but my little heart was weary
and lifeless
and now live, it just won't

You prefer your heart dead
the feeling kind, you never will be
but baby I liked being in love
what a shame it didn't like me.

Those clouds are rolling in,
again
to say their morbid hellos
to my blue sky
and cover the bright sun

Today is new,
but it tastes stale
lifeless,
flavorless,
like it had been chewed, before you spat
it into my mouth

Empty,
and burning with envy
lost with love
I lay,
and you lay
in different countries
and separate beds

We missed the spark
the old heart
we shared as one
the one that once connected us

Gone,
empty,
broken and stolen
Left,
with no leg to stand on
I rest alone
and try to remember,
the man I've spent
the last three months
trying to forget.

My heart;
fell from my chest
and landed on my lap
the day I saw you,
and her
together, and I knew
that it was really over

It burst open,
and spilled blood over my knees
and it dripped down to my toes;
until I was covered
in my own mess
Yeah, you caught me red-handed

I stopped breathing,
even thinking,
for a moment
as I watched my little broken heart
try its best to beat

It flopped and shook
all over the floor,
until it was too weak
to move
and then I watched it die

It's okay,
I'll probably live longer
with out it
Heavy hearts
like mine,
are nothing but trouble

I didn't ***
until you left my body
Left me alone,
to remember me
and what my body wants

It was you,
but it wasn't

Full of contradictions and insecurities,
we made the beast
and unleashed a beast

Now, it's taking over
devouring me whole
licking and stabbing,
loving and hating

What you gave,
and what you stole
was never real at all.

Do you remember what you said to me?

When you told me you wouldn't leave?

Well, now you're gone
baby
You're so far gone

But,
I can't love a hallucination,
cannot live in my imagination
I get so high off my frustration
it takes ahold of me

and makes a fool of me
I'll agree, it makes a fool of me

When I woke up this morning I felt,

differently.

Like somehow overnight
the world,

fell back into place.

I was me before I met you
and it felt,

good,
and empty.

Like I had never fallen asleep in your arms
Like my lips had never known your,

sweet kisses
or tender touch.

Today was the first time I realized
that you,

are never coming back.

But you were never really there at all.

I wanna to kiss you where it hurts
until the trembling stops
and the pain
has gone away

I wanna bathe you in sweet light
cut you loose from sin
and give you a seat
upon my back

I wanna **** the nectar from your skin
drink it down,
until the last
d
                r
                                       o
                                                       p
         has settled
on my lips

I dreamed a dream
Just a silly little thing

I was there,
sitting cold
In front of the mirror
Donned in white and lace

Champagne was poured
And I sipped it slow
As my hands shook the glass

Friends rushing and running
Falling and laughing
All around me
Adoring me
But they couldn’t see,
my fear

I opened my mouth
But my chilling cries fell flat
So I stood up and ran

And my dress went from white
to black.

Once you were,
the most exciting part of day
An effervescent light,
that screamed past me on the train
that followed me through the streets
Couldn’t focus
Couldn’t wait,
to here that beautiful voice
that made me weak,
made me tremble
And started the storm between my thighs

Once you were,
the only one
who could make me feel the rain
Make me feel free
and powerful
and all of those beautiful things
a girl,
should be made to feel

Once you were,
the sole love on my line
An earth shattering sound
The clearest face in my dreams
and the only song I could ever remember

But now you are,
gone
and I feel like my legs gave out
My hearing stopped cold
my voice went soft
Because my heart stopped beating
the day we said goodbye

And the silence is maddening.

Sometimes I like to touch it
that warm little place inside of you
where I built a home for us,
yes just me and you

Sometimes I like to kiss it
that mouth,
and those lips
hot and red like chilies

and oh that body, baby
tease me, stop me, tempt me if you will
I love to drag my hair across it
just to hear you laugh

I am venus rising
I'll be your greatest goddess
we'll play pretend
laugh and fight

I'll be here in the morning
as long as you lay,
beside me tonight

I used to sink into you
bottom to the bottomless
I was gone and you,
were all that was left

Once I swam through your veins
and carried your heart in my teeth
used your lungs as drums
until it was me who was moving,
you

I sang through your mouth
and blew kisses from behind your lips
laughed in your ear
and whispered something sweetly dangerous,
that only I could hear

But then you dropped me out
out of sight and out of mind
left behind in a ditch or a sewer,
with the rest of your used condoms

Your filthy little touch
left to reside in my memory
will be all that's left of you
because I'm out of the mud now,
that's right baby, I'm free

Lately I've been living another life
I play pretend all day
I smile and say hello
Standing tall and pretty
wearing the mask of a happier girl

I come home and busy myself
with things that are normal
things that I would never do
I push my pens and paints away
hide them with my tears
and make believe that it's all okay

But when no one's home and I'm all alone
I crawl under my kitchen table and cry
I throw cups at the wall
and scream until my voice gives out
because I'm tired
of pretending this is the good life

If I were a smarter girl,
then I would have left you long ago
I would have turned off my phone
stepped away from your cruel world
and let you go,
but I've never been that clever

If I were bigger
then I'd walk right past you
and when the other boys smiled and winked my way
maybe I would've winked back
but I've never been very visible

If I were happier
then you'd probably love me more
you would want to show me off
because I would make you proud
but I've always been one for tears

The place where I live inside you
is made of shiny plastic
it's cheap and easily subdued
so I moved out
because I won't watch it fall around me

Good bye sweet love
it was nothing less than incendiary
when the rosy glasses covered my eyes
from the certain reality
that soon you will leave
and I will be here reveling in a lost dream
but I'm good and gone
because I've never been one for make believe.

I forgot to breathe today
when I found your hair
red and shiny,
staring back at me

all coiled and coy
laying there lifeless
in the corner of my closet

I thought seriously
about returning it
but I knew you wouldn't miss it
just another thing to lose
another piece of you gone
I'm sure you didn't notice

So I placed it on my pillow,
laid my head down and gazed
at its beauty and knew
that it looked at home in my home
and good in my graces

I slept beside it for hours
and when I awoke
it didn't greet me good morning
it was gone,
but it was probably never there at all