It was a journey
it took time to learn
how to love you this strongly
how to hold you this completely
It took time,
my love
to move through you
and allow you to do the same

Her heart beats within my chest now
and I, hers
her love and her voice
sweltering within me
makes it hard to let go,
makes it hard to get away

And the beating never stops
no matter how hard I try to **** it
to smother it with indifference
rip it out and throw it away
I can't
I can't stop loving you

Do you remember,
when you told me that I wasn't your mother?
You said it sternly over shaking breath
Well you were wrong, girl
because this is how a mother loves

The sun is warm today.
I can feel it,
even from within my icy heart
which is beginning to thaw
and shift from the color of red wine
to that of the lips of a girl.

Outside my window I can see green
and it nudges me,
gently towards living.
It takes time
and thought
to remember that I'm allowed to live,
with out you.
Or to be, think, and say,
with out you there to hold my hand.
Or laugh along beside me

I don’t want to be here
Or live in a world
Where you’re not there to read my mind
And steal the words from my lips
Because it’s cold here darling,
It’s full of strangers

If I only knew,
Where you ran off too
Or where you go to get lost
I would come find you love,
I’d bring you home safe

When I miss you too much,
And my stomach drops
When my eyes well up with tears
I’ll hold my breath
And I’ll hold it steady

I’ll wait for you,
I’ll wait to live
And I’ll wait to love
I won’t do anything with out you

I dream of you, my love
for hours that feel like days,
long into the night.
My tender dreaming
becomes an affair of loving reeling
and my soul is stirred to waking

But a dream it wasn't,
and reality it was,
my wonderful, my wanted

Was there ever such a man
who could provide the possibility
of freeing me from my icy cage
and set my soul ablaze
or nudge me into a love drunk haze?

Well here it is,
and here you are
my wonderful, my wanted

Long have I waited
and wondered in discontent
if the star I had wished on
was more than a child's song
that could keep me praying long after dawn

And now you've answered,
your soft words have been spoken,
my wonderful, my wanted

Yes here you are,
and now you've spoken
I am finally here, and finally ready
I must keep my wavering hand steady
As I place my lips upon yours

I realize that something is not right
it isn't midday, to my surprise it's night!
my love that I was kissing,
seems to be missing
I run my hands through my hair,
and to my despair,
You were never there at all

You are a dream,
and a dangerous thing,
my wonderful, my wanted

You don't take my breath away,
you rip it from my lungs.
Again,
and again.

You don't tell the truth,
you spin stories of deceit.
You lie,
and lie,
and ******* lie.

Over and over,
crimson and clover,
but we won't dance to this song.

You don't play pretend,
you change completely,
to become someone new.
Ravenous and unwilling,
to ask for help,
or let it go.
Just let it go

You are not my sister.
You are but her shell
with a demon soul
that quietly slithered in
and you won't let her go
just let her go

And the moods
and the manias
they'll just keep cycling through.
Over and over,
crimson and clover,

But I refuse to sing this song with you
because I'm letting you go
I'm just letting *you go

Naked,
as the very first ray of light
and a single droplet of water

I am exposed here
laying on hot sand
and sinking further and further
into it's itchy dryness

I am insignificant
for I am alone
in a no man's land,
where there is but light
and no other life

In the womb of creation is where I transform
from evil into good
I shed my filthy skin
to become raw and new

All but a loud ringing is left
to fill the maddening silence
and I bow down
to let it fill my ears
with an insanity that crackles and bursts
only to teeter out into calm

This is the first day,
rebirth into a bright new world
and I will be fresh
and forget who she was
put it down and let go
and become who I am.