Loving you is a mystery,
That knows no logic
The memories I have of us,
Heat,
Sweat,
Tongue in mouth,
Entangled and attached,
Aren’t as clear and crystalline,
As they should be
But instead are foggy, and distant
An intangible and delusive,
Dream-like state of being
An imaginary romance,
That was nothing more than pretend play

Maybe I don’t really love you
And I was merely trying too hard
An ineffectual attempt to make something live,
That was all too ready to die

But, still you come to me
In my dreams and in my bed,
You lay there with me and hold me,
Until the dawn comes
And I am no longer afraid,
Of what hides in the night

My dreaming is nothing more,
Than dossal scheming,
For which I alone will pay the price
I’ll forget who you are,
And fall in love with who I want you to be
You can never break my heart my dear,
If it isn’t really you who I long for

Do you remember when you were kid,
watching fireworks illuminate the summer's sky?
Flickering and bursting with brilliant light,
they left you shaken and wanting more

As you walked home in the dark,
all you could hear was a chilling ring
and as you closed your eyes,
you could still make out the colored streaks,
because they remained in your eyes,
which mirrored the skies,
where the smoke had once been

I hear the ringing when you leave me
I lay in bed feeling the,
boom, boom, boom,
Every cell I possess is awakening

All that is left to fill my ears,
is the sound that you left within them
All that I can feel,
is the movement which you pushed through me
A smoky grey line becomes your face
and you are with me,

But I do not smell the gun powder
and your scent doesn't cling to my clothing
Which causes me to wonder my dear,
if you were ever really there at all

I wish I had been there,
sitting beside you,
when you saw America
and when you passed through her greatness

I wish I could have been there to see,
water so clear, it was like two skies
And when you screamed at the mountains
I wish I could have been there to answer your call

But I am there in some ways,
I was there when your car began to putter
and you thought it was your last drive
and I was there with you,
when the sun rose so sweetly into the sky,
that it made you take a deep breath,
and wonder if it was real,
because you were finally really doing,
all the great things,
that you once said you would

I know you were still here,
even though you were there
Because I carry you with me
I carry you to class
and into the car, on the bus
and wherever I go
But I cannot spend an eternity in my head

Some would say that a life like ours,
must be utterly romantic
But I say that it's ****.
You're like a dream,
that leaves my head and body buzzing for days
Every time we meet,
Every time you touch me,
I feel alive,
I'm flying sky high

Until you leave,
that's when I awake to reality
only to make the sick,
sad realization
that we can never have normal,
only too many goodbyes,
that make it harder to say hello.

I would,
Marry you in white
And lay to rest all of my sins

I would,
Stand in shallow light
And gaze back at own my reflection

And nod at her,
with loving admiration

For you, and only you
I would forget what he had done
And become brand new
A shiny piece of gold
Grown from a silver lined cloud

In the still light
Made from a sun’s single ray
I will wait
And become clean
A pureness so deep
That even my insides will shine

For all the storms weathered
And for the violent thunder crashes
I have always found shelter in you
The bell that rings
And stirs my quiet slumber
Is the same one that draws me back to you

So here I stand
Heart in hand
And soul in mouth
Ready to walk with love
And take my place among the roses and the romantics

Why can’t we live the simple life?
You know,
Live in a house, a real house
With a picket fence
And cleanly pressed rose wallpaper,
Covering its innards
Which hug the smooth cherry wood banisters

It doesn’t have to always be glittery
We don’t have to be big all the time
Sometimes we can be little
Little people, living in a lovely little world
Made of candy and apple pie

We don’t have to walk a red carpet
Besides the one,
Which covers our staircase and leads the way to our bedroom
The world that we alone share
Until the kids come in,
You know,
The even littler people

Some people live in that world
That’s regular and suburban
Lucky and safe
So simple, it’s sweet to taste

I could do it,
I could give up all my big dreams
And shut my starry eyes
Because you are my end all
And all the other boys,
Were just the bodies that laid the path,
Which led me to you.

Am I full of fault again?
Have I found myself in yet another ditch?
Muddied and torn,
benevolent but empty?

**** it, I was hoping for more

I was quietly wishing,
that a hand like yours,
would dip into these icy waters and save me from drowning

I was dreaming of a prince,
who could place me in the sun.
Somewhere soft and clean.
Where I could get dry,
where I could find warmth.

You had a white horse,
but you weren't my prince.
You galloped up and over my mountains
and laid waste to my fields.

So, here is where you left me,
to become one with the earth.
Crushed under the weight,
of those arrogant hooves.

There will come a day,
when you realize that the earth,
is moving beneath your feet.
It will stop you from breathing
and begin to make its way into your core.
Can you feel it?
Or are you still in denial?

Will you follow it my dear?
That spinning earth
and the readied life,
that is running forth with out stopping.
Closer and closer to actuality,
even as these words fall from my lips.

Will you listen my love?
To the heartbeat of this world,
the incessant thump, thump, thumping.
A pounding so loud that it hurts
and swallows your brain up whole.

Go with it,
feel it,
and listen to that beat,
because this day has come
and tomorrow has yet to exist.