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Liz Devine Jan 2012
Mama said be careful
Don’t talk to strangers
And don’t walk alone
Mama said to sit up straight
Keep your elbows off the table
And lock the doors when you get home

Mama said be patient
Be polite
Be a lady
Mama said not to sit on the grass
Not to stay in the sun
And go out only if it’s shady

Mama said be a good girl
But this good girl’s got to roam
This girl’s gotta spread her wings
And fly away from her home

Mama said a lot of things
Of this I know is true
But mama never said nothin’
‘Bout stayin away from you

Mama never said you’d hurt me
Or do me so wrong
She never told of your sweet kisses
Or the sadness you’d put in my song

Mama said that boys lie
But you were different; you were a man
Mama should have told me
“Girl, run as fast as you can!”

Mama didn’t tell me
But Ima tell mine
That men like you are icky, yucky things
And ain’t no better than swine
Liz Devine Jan 2012
I can feel you slipping away from me
Again
Like the many times before
You’re just beyond my grasp
Let me reach a little further
I’ll never let go

You can’t run far
Not as long as I have my claws in you
I’ll break you
I’ll make you bleed
You’ll never get away from my wicked heart
Or the destruction that lay before you

I’ll hold you still in my hand
Like a baby bird
Screeching for freedom
But you can’t have it
No, you’ll never leave me
I’ll always be the first to go.

Please don’t try to struggle
To clip your wings
Will only cause me pain
Because I love to see you fly

You’re only safe in my arms
Next to my heart
Warm and close to me my love
It’s dangerous where you go

Don’t fly away
You’ll never get away
I’ll always be the first to go
Do not fly away from me my love
You’ll never get far.
Liz Devine Jan 2012
Me and you
Not as complicated
As you and I
I couldn’t buy you
I guess I didn’t have enough
Just the lint from my pockets
And a little change

So this will be my apology
For making your life miserable
And twisting your world to black
Love and ***
I’m sorry I confused the two
I’m sorry I allowed them to be linked

I believed them to be intertwined
And enabled them to live in me
I had no right to that
I had no right to love you
No right to let it feel good
Or to create a home in your bed
To smile and laugh
As you kissed and tongued me
No right to cry
As you grabbed and pulled at me

It wasn’t my place
Your heart a palace
Brilliant and beautiful
My ***** little hands
Undeserving
It wasn’t mine to touch

So you rebelled
With darkened defenses
A rage too cruel
Even for the blackest of hearts

You intruded me
Stormed my gates
You split me like an apple
And swallowed me whole
Helped yourself to my pink and white
Skin soft and tight
Ripping
Ripped
Gone

Gazing at me with that sick smile
Is enough to make me spit on any man
Yes
I was blind for you
As dumb and vulnerable
As a field mouse

I was meant to hate you
To break you
Scream at you
Hurt you
And ruin you

So here is my apology
From my twisted little soul
To yours
For getting in your way
Laying in fear with the others
And being the first to speak
Liz Devine Jan 2012
I touch the poison to my lips
Let it settle there clumsily
Before drinking it down
I tip it upward and swallow fast
Killing any good life that was left

I’ll let them take me
Have me
And use me
Before the grand finale
This is the game we’ll play
I’ll give and you can take
Throw it away before my eyes
Because we are not equal

I yearn for the one who broke me
Who took all
Until I had none
Like a child reaching for a parent
I scream for him
With arms towards the sky
Reaching
For anyone who passes by
For anyone who will take me

I am looking for justification
For the unfinished creation
That is my very soul
And my everything

It is a sick cycle
And a twisted way to live
Every time consume it
Every time I am touched
My broken body only wants it more
She is craving her own destruction

But how do you stop the gamble
When you feel like you could win?
Put down the dice
And walk away
From this dark, ***** girl
From the incessant pain
And from my open burning heart
Liz Devine Jan 2012
I’m that girl your parents warned you about
The one they shake their heads at
Look down at in disgust

Late nights I press my lips to the bottle and raise it to the sky
Howl at the moon
And lose myself in sin
Smoking an screaming
I am followed by a dark grey smog
A ***** damp rain cloud

I’ll lift my skirt
If you tell me I’m pretty
Because I don’t care
I’m young and wild
I was born to be bad

I spin in fast circles
And fall down in the street
I get lost in humiliation
And always laugh loudly along
Raving
Rambling
And talking crazy
I am red cheeked and shameless

Wicked seduction
Your biggest fear solidified
Home before curfew
Covered in soft pink and baby blue
Sleeping off drunkenness
So peacefully
Like an angel
A perfect lady
Liz Devine Jan 2012
When I hear your voice
It’s bitter sweet
I close my eyes tightly
And push back the tears

I try to remember a time
When this felt good
When it didn’t burn inside my chest
And pound within my head
A time when you were decent
A time when it didn’t hurt

I become lost among the chaos
And the sharp edges of my mind

Dark, cold, distant
My sun has gone away
Leaving behind the crashing torrents
Of an angry ocean
And murderous rage
For which at your will
I provide the body
My body
To be angry with
To hurt and to hate

You grab my wrists a present a blade
A clever plan of demise
My demise
I let you take from me
Pillage and steal

Throw away what you don’t want
I don’t fight it anymore
I’m too weak and small

I don’t smile or laugh or play
That girl is gone
When it’s finished
I stare at the ceiling
Liz Devine Jan 2012
When with him I am an actress
I play a role
I play it well
I know all the moves
And I know all of my lines
Those blurry little lies

I play my part skillfully without fail
My smile destroys my own true feelings
The flip of my hair
And the bat of my lashes
The giggles
The grace
My kisses
My touches
Are all planned and rehearsed

Tongue to navel and lips to lips
Every touch of your face
Or neck
Or chest
Every wink, smile, and moan
All lies
I’m just playing pretend
I’m just doing my job

You don’t love me
But you don’t know that I’m acting
If you don’t feel love
When I’m playing better than myself
I know you’ll only cast the real me aside

The silly
Playful
Funny me
The one with the light behind her eyes
Will never be seen by you
And you’ll never be allowed to hurt her
I keep her away
Up on a shelf at a distance
As I **** this girl slowly
For the promise of your touch
And I chance in your bed
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