sand in my mouth
Sand in my lungs
if you can here me, let me out

water at my feet
how It makes me feel complete
the abyss all around
crashes at the sound
connecting me to everything

The way you sleep
(when you’ve had too much whiskey)
is like that of someone
very much dead.

You still,
except for the punctuating rhythm
of your diaphragm inflating your lungs,
and maybe a snort or growl.

I can whisper
secret things
in your ear, and I know
that you won’t ever remember.

I want to tell you how I feel but don't know what to say
The cheesey lines that come to me say "colours fade to grey"
A gentle blandness hangs around but I can't work out why
I carry out the same routines that now seem dull and dry
For some reason  excitement's gone and I'm just feeling down
For a little while I'll fake a smile, paint it like a clown
I know that it will lift in time, but here the hope seems thin
Melancholy dreariness, no passion in the hymn
I trust that you will lift the fog as you have done before
Break into my apathy, and rock me to the core
For now I'll plod along the road, make sense of what is mine
And as I go, I'll sing along - A "Perfect Day For Sunshine"

Shhh,
Silence,
Your heart sounds like a drum.
It pounds,
Quiet,
When they start to come.
Can you feel it?
Around you,
Your fear begins to grow
As they storm up,
Screaming
Things not ment for you to know.
And I stand here,
Waiting,
As you begin to dread
What you know is
Comming,
And the things you never said.
So I hold you,
Closely,
Though I'll never know the fear
And I'll stay.
Regardless
Of the fact that I'm not here.

Pretenses shot down dead tonight
Not wasting time
I want to hold you tighter than the armor I wore for too long
I want to peel off your layers, clothes,
Get to your core, till you're sore
I want to lay each other bare
No concern with who you're supposed to be
Just be who you are with me
I want to run with you faster than our racing hearts
Till they give out old and cold
I want late night fights
Violent as a volcano
If only for the make up ***
I want to loose ourselves in each other
More comfortable than memory foam
Just lay outside amazed at how it feels so right
I want to spend hours in you eyes
More awe inspiring than Gogh's Stary Night
aurora borealis, radiant eclipse, in your eyes
Cake in the morning ice cream in the evening
I want to chart your skin
map it better than the back of my hand
navigate your curves as we curve the planet
As we embrace the night you make me want to see in the dark
As we run into the day you make me want to keep you to myself
As long as it's with you it's what I want, and I want it all.

Spinning like a ghost

on the bottom of a

top,

I'm haunted by all

the space that I

will live without

you.

You smile at me and I make you laugh
Then he remembers something I told him
And look me in the eye when I talk
My heart aches for nothing

Then the next time you're cold
A couple hours later we don't click
Only when we've had too much to drink do you care
My heart aches for nothing

Maybe I'm reading way too much into it
Depending too much on that feeling
Expecting more than what is possible
Now I'm stuck, too far in
I want you out of my head
Everything was so much easier when I didn't know you
I don't even know if you care
My heart aches for nothing

Those feelings of hatred
Those feelings of being used
Those feelings that you just can't say when you want to
Are just ..
The words left unsaid
Words burried deep down
In your fragile heart
Words that are meant to be said
To the person who hurts you
And yet you can't hurt them
With your words cause
Those are
The words left unsaid

The days pass
And the sunlight wheels along the wall
Spinning golden music through some days
And heaping cold white silence upon others
But always it comes
And always it goes
And always it changes everything.
What is a beautiful thought?
What does it take to have one and say it?
Must it rhyme, must it have a cadence
Or can it just fall free from the lips or the fingers
Or the eyelashes of someone whose days
Are stretching long like evening shadows
And whose nights are full of wishes on stars that are just far enough away
Not to recoil
From all that longing?

Tell me, what are dreams for?
The madnesses of a sleeping mind.
Why do they pierce so, what's behind them?
Tell me why the stars are just as far away when I'm asleep
As when I'm not?

I am a match that has been struck
But waits, frozen in that tiny space of time between
For years and years,
Defying physics and logic,
Yearning for a flame that is half finished gasping its first breath.
Someday it will leap upon me and I can feel its almost-heat,
But that day is not of my choosing,
And I have been struck
Struck many times
Without being incinerated.
I've been struck in every way-
Like a lone tree on a high hill
Like the dented head of a nail that, foolish, bent the wrong direction-
And I've always felt the heat
I've always felt the blows rain down
But I've never truly been on fire.

I want my bones to fill up with fever
I want every inch of me to be complete
None of these cold hollows and little nooks and edges
That let the wind whistle through- no
I have been struck more than enough times
And I'm begging life to let me burn.
Where are my days going?
I felt the thrill of flames in my heart
I felt hot metal in my veins- the stuff of stars-
And now I'm waiting
Slowing and stalling as it cools inside me
And the days are wheeling by on my walls
Like an ***** grinder's cart that pulls the sun along
And the only thing worse than being struck
Is being unable to ignite.