The unimpressed look on your face
The slightly annoyed brush away
The silence, the words you never say

Don't say "I love you to me"

I never understood before
the meaning of being infuriated by someone
and annoyed at them
and arguing too much
but still wanting to speak to them
before I met you

I never could see before
how each word could be so important
that they're analysed each
until all possible meaning has been confused
and then happily construed
before I met you

I never could feel before
the knowing of having someone
the wanting to get it right
so much you're worried all the time
because you care so much for them
before I met you

I never did hear before
the doubts I have of myself
the voices that question me
to try and be the better person
the best person for you to have
before I met you

This is meant to be the best thing that ever was
And sometimes it feels like it is
But sometimes the happiness of what I feel for you
Is balanced by the cutting of my feelings for me

Is it you that makes me feel like I do?
Or do I judge myself too strong?
This isn't sustainable for me to proceed
If this is permanent, I just can't

There's an empty feeling that trickles down inside of me
Telling me I'm not good enough
Saying I shouldn't be acting that way
The way that felt so right before

If only I could see the right way to go
Maybe I'd feel better inside
But life isn't so black and white, as they say
And grey is a hard shade to tell

And in a while something will change
The feelings will start to pass
Overcome with something more hopeful than them
This time, I'm hoping it'll last

They seem to come around midnight
The groans and cries of pain
Hiding behind the fancy words
That the poet did create

But my friends in writing
When the hour comes for you
With your words, you're not alone
We're all feeling it too

I'd rather have friends than enemies
I'd rather have love than hate
And if that love don't seem big enough
I guess I'll just have to wait

The grass is always greener
At least that's what they all say
But to see it from the other side
Has not yet been my fate

I've tried to find it everywhere
I've looked and searched in vain
But for me, it's not yet to be
And that's what gives me pain

Now it's made me miss some things
That are right in front of my face
A different kind of love, you see
Is sometime hard to trace

But I'll take what I've been given
And try more to appreciate
The things I have, and for the things I've not
I guess I'll just have to wait

My heart is adrift
Lost out in the sea
Caught up in the waves
Nothing like me

You are the lifeboat
Who'll find me out there
You know where am
For you truly care

In the passing of the night
With only friendship left to lose
Encouraged by some drunken friends
And eddied by the *****

We talked a while, just you and me
In fading smokey light
Until I could convince myself
The timing had come right

I though that you had shown a sign
The words you said were true
But what I thought the words did mean
Was not what they were to you

The laughter I thought was nervous hope
Was plainly misconcieved
And looking back I see I saw
What I wanted to believe

I took a step and passed all points
That had been passed before
A calamity of awkward words
Shared by the front door

You look surprised and not quite sure
Of what you're supposed to say
But all I wanted was the truth
Not just a part to play

It wasn't the answer I wanted to hear
But I know you're not to blame
I'm only happy I know where we stand
Alhough we don't feel the same

And though I don't regret the action
The method wasn't right
So I hope you don't hold against me
What passed the other night