The velvet lady
seductive
elusive
Feel the sweet embrace
Incredible and passionate
Crave her sweet romance

Surrender your heart
And be
Forever entwined

Finally I have reached my goal

I have trapped my poor old soul.

Down we go, storming the hot gates,

Of smoldering hell.

Like a beasts jaws, clinching your throat.

Into a land where God himself , looks away.

We feel the heat

And yet we charge until our hide tears.

Just to watch kin die.

To **** the coveted

Heretics all, we rot in the ground.

While our soul lives in hell.

I find passion in the strangest things, perhaps they aren't strange at all, I just feel as if I should be passionate of my own ideas, children of my own soul. A fire awakens in me from the words of another alcohol addled mind and I search deep inside to find a way to make a beautiful thing but I'm always far too sober to and I wonder if maybe I could be like that. A pull or two from Jack's lips makes me feel warm, like I'm home, similar to how a lovers hand on my stomach while im sleeping makes me feel. But maybe if I could find that Absolut resolve she could make my insides as beautiful as I am on the surface. Oh, yes, I am beautiful I see that now but that's neither here and certainly not there. I miss when I could wind words around and around and around me and I could climb like an eight legged beast from one end to the other visiting those i'd ensnared. Smiles and laughs and tears and everything we shared is here but you went away. As if to tell me what it is I never wanted to know. 

You can have your heart or you can have your tongue but only god could have both and even he chooses to have neither.

I find epics quite exhausting
For while the hero fights for the dead
I find my attention wandering
To a buzzing fly overhead.

I lie awake in bed so still
Helpless i'm forced to take that pill
I cannot move, my fight is gone
I just listen to my favourite song.

My lips are chapped, cracked and dry
As my hair falls out i say goodbye
To those i love and who love me
Forever in my memory

But time goes on and they'll forget
The way i moved and the scent of my breath
So bury me in my favourite clothes,
My lady bird shoes and big clown nose

Then when Mama looks at me in my box
She remembers me saying
"I'll be an astronaut"

She starts to cry, as she only sees
The innocence that washed over me
So Papa takes her by the hand
And as she sobs she gives the command

My box goes down but i sore high
Me and my spaceship
Drift into the sky

The leaves keep changing colors despite my pleading,
Before I looked within and noticed my chest beating.
What a clever ruse that ***** had played to convince,
It wasn’t in use when you left and hadn’t been since.
But now it would seem I know better than my heart,
About things that entice my mind and shock it to start,
‘Cause here I sit once again, a gleam in the dark night,
Exploring the reasoning behind my body working right.
It makes me wonder about the choices my brain makes,
In all of the previous decisions that have led to mistakes,
Who exactly is in control of my soul, heart, and brain,
While I’m so focused on this trusty mask I always feign?
But the answers only serve their purpose as excuses,
Squeezing them pitilessly dry of their disgusting juices,
To make myself feel better about what I’ve become,
In spite of the upbringing I should have learned from.
Yet, here I sit and sigh because colors are always turning,
And mine has changed to one that has my heart burning.