Let there be light
Within my heart
Let me learn to love
Myself and others all the same
Let those who broke my heart
Have a good life
Filled with soft lessons
And kind guidance
Just like it's there for me
Let me learn to be that
Soft voice, that kind guidance
When I really need to
Let the boys have a good season
And free me from
The grudges and the love
That fills my heart.
I have not deserved this burden
But I'll carry it with grace nevertheless.
Just show me that path
That makes it count for something.
Show me how to find balance again.

Sincerety...
My teacher once spoke them words
Her voice, soft as the wings on these birds
I took her words to my heart
Sticked to them from the start

Always really

But now I hear you speak
Like it's some cruel streak
Well **** Imma take that from you
*** your communication is ill too

What you see is what you get
Honesty is always the safest bet
But that's never been your strength
As you gossip at a baffeling length

Fine Imma say it
See how you'd take it
If I really stop selecting my speech
Words to fill these sheets

You're a selfish ****
With no regard for those
Who work day and night
For an over grown kid
Come real close
Imma show you the light

A certain peace befalls us
As we stroll through these fields
Where the grass grows so high
I've been here before
It's where I played as a child
3 weeks every summer

I still smell the scent of the barn
That held home
To 16 cows
Here they cut off the horns
And feed them hormones
But not where I come from

Their warm coat colored brown and white
I still hear the lady call them out
Her voice echoes
Through the hallways of my memory.
Here we stopped being
The girls from the city

Each august it was time to harvest
We carried the pitch forks
In our small hands
To the fields where the tractors
Slowly drove by
Skin scratched open
From the insect bites

The burden of hay allergy
But we never loved it less
We caught mise in the barn
Build beds of hay blocks
Swam in the lakes
And took long walks

Toward the end of the cow's labor
With our bare hands
We aided the calf in to this world.
And watched their first steps
And offered them their first milk
We sighed from boredom
And screamed of exitement

There where the grass grows so high.

The first mile is tough
The last mile is the toughest
I liked the way she played with her hair
Liked her smile
She had a calming effect on me
The in between was just numb minding
Just distance for the sake of distance
Some never made it, some did
She hated cruelty
One of god's creatures
To good for me
Just to good
The body wants to give up
That little voice agrees
Just dumb for the sake of dumb
I was a dumb one
Everybody loved her
She was one of the special ones
They always take the special ones
Sometimes when the pain gets too much
I’ll run the hill
Just to see her play with her hair
It’s worth the pain

some people don't know that they are controlling

Would I? Myself
Want to controll another?
Only if I needed to controll myself.
Only if I didn't trust
That my life was safe and secure.
Only if I had something
Left to lose.
What's the harm right?

Right!
The harm is
That you become responsible
For another's happiness
Do not change others
Let them be who they are
Let them be what they are
If it doesn't serve you
Keep them at bay
For you are the only one
Responsible for your own happiness.

Accept others in to your life
And only ever ask them
To make themselves happy.
And never forget
To make yourself happy too.
Because that's where
Consistent joy lies
You have the power
To choose your own path
To some extend
And then comes the soul.
the soul is the boss*

Do not stop
To ask others to suit your needs
You have to suit your needs
What others do for you
Is their own choice
And when it's good
It's the deepest expression
Of how much they love you.
That is true love
And it is as vast as time.
Allow it in to your life
And you will see
Miracles manifest.

I keep hearing...
It's like a voice...
It keeps telling me
All these negative things

My dear sister
I know you don't believe it
But you could actually
Talk to those voices
I know you don't believe it
But you are hearing
The very same
Spiritual messages as I do.

We'll just call it insecurity
Which is where this comes from.
you know when it happens to me
I just argue it untill it stops
Or smile and ignore it
She smiled, case closed.
I wish I could tell you
But you are not open for this.
And that's ok.

I did take your advise though
You know when you said
To ask myself everyday
"What can I do to make myself happy now?"

Saturday, to work for an hour
It's surgery day
I know you don't care
But I'm sure
We can find other things to do
In the weekend

Regardless here we are
I watch you cut open the gums
And start drilling a whole
Piece by piece
You open up the gap
I know the principal from
My days in mechanics

Each time I see you here
In the operation room
You do something
To affirm your dominance
Last time you threw
A carpule, needle included
At the non-sterile assistant

This time you invade the space
Of the sterile assistant
Making her have to assume
The most unergonomic position
I could possibly imagine.
Yeah who cares
We're just assistants
No high degree

In a flash I hear it again
As I watch you
Do things that the technician
Within me, does not agree with
the first thing mechanics do
With a plan from the ingeneer
Is tear it down

Here I'll be the mechanic:
One does not put
Two implants to support
A bridge of four elements!
But hey you're the boss
Have it your way.