People are changing,
And aging.
The weather is, too.
So is the sky, and the earth, and the science that revolves around us
Spitting theories and numbers and equations and pictures at us to remind us how small we are.
The forests keep diminishing and the skies keep polluting and the ocean continues to grow
As the ice keeps melting and the animals keep perishing as our minds continue to grow.
And I look around at this small town and think about its origins and the moments it has seen,
And I wonder why it is some things stay the same.

Every step you take someone else has taken at one point in time or another.
And if it's the first, someone else will step in your footsteps and not give a **** about who has stepped there before.

Someone told me once that you die twice:
Once when your heart stops beating,
And again when your name is said for the last time.

So here I am, standing before the world on a stage for everyone to see;
Pouring my heart out to a group of people who I may never meet.
If every word and every thought I produce means something to you,
Just remember,
It means something completely different to me.

The sky is pastel, and makes me feel happy,
Although my day is turning more and more upside down as the day progresses.
I am so unaware of who I am and what contains me,
Yet I am so sure that I am who I am supposed to be.
Adolescence is a dumb thing, because it causes me to lose sight of things I was often so sure of.
I hold my future in an unsure hand, trembling as I begin to feel my fingers wrap around it,
Not yet obtaining it, but most definitely acknowledging it's existence.
I cannot see it, for I am standing in the road with a blindfold on,
Looking like a complete and udder idiot, holding out a shaking hand as I struggle to grasp onto some undefined object that controls my every thought.
I feel embarrassed, and I feel dumb,
But people do not notice me.
They are doing the same as me.
Everyone is standing out on this road, with a blindfold on, as they attempt to grasp onto this foreign object that shapes their every motive.
Some people grasp this object fully, and accept it for whatever texture it obtains.
Others, like me, are failing to fully wrap their fingers around this object.
I am blind, you see, and I can't tell if this object, my future, is large, or so small that I can barely see it.
I cannot tell if there is a car speeding up behind me, rushing through stop signs and yields and red lights,
I am blind.
I can't tell if this car will decide to hit me or not.
I cannot tell if this object will control me for the rest of my life.
I cannot tell if someday I will overcome my fear of the object, and drop it on the floor like I should.
But for now, I stand here, holding it out in front of me, letting it control my every move like I always have.
And I sit here and I realize why it is that I write about myself more than I write about anyone else.

You asked me how I would spend
My last twenty-four hours if they started
At this very moment

We talked late at night planning all the
Things we'd have to do, like camping
Or watching the sunset
But I was too afraid to admit that
I would only need to fall asleep
Next to you with your lips
pressed against mine, and I'd die happy

I got to thinking and realized come August,
We will all be spending our last twenty-four hours
Together in the summer sun, and then
College will take us far away to start our
Separate adventures out of this small town

Sitting in my bed late at night
I couldn't help but cry because if there's
Anything I'm more afraid of than death
It's being alone, and I can't take another year
Of starting over

You can forgive, not forget
Because the past never really dies
It fades away into awkward silences
And sideways glances
Just below the surface, hidden in plain sight
Things always end badly
Because the end only comes when something has gone wrong
Knowing this, I was still shocked to see you become
So cruel and callous a person
Without a **** to give for those you loved

A very famous man once said
My reality is brighter than your dreams are
On top of the world, so joyously triumphant
I never in a million years would have dreamed
That I could somehow relate

But with every moment I spent
Holding you tight to my chest
Every kiss of your lips
Your fingers tracing down my neck
I began to understand
What it was like to know Love
The sweetest of happiness
God's Gift from above

In life I've never been an optimist
Conditioned to expect the worst
But with you around it is easy
To see that life isn't meant to hurt
Times do change, things do gets better
We can grow and we can learn
With you by my side darling
I'm on top of the world

There is something wrong with my brain.
I constantly tell myself to do the right thing,
But my ideas are irrational and my words are not words;
They are pictures carved out from memories my mind has somehow stolen.
There are spiders, and creatures, and storms crashing through my mind,
And there is no moon in my head that can control this tide.
So I sit here and watch myself rot and go insane,
As I constantly wonder what's wrong with my brain.