Magnificently
strong, with a softness
of succulent papaya
and the rose petals
paying homage
in the bird bath
loud, with a
silence that moves time
and space
laced into the universe
strategically placed
to spark
a reaction
the latest attraction is on the
way
scattered across the world
we lay
rested and ready
to rise
to the challenge
or peel back the film
of today's afflictions
tomorrows predictions
to reveal,
to surpass the restrictions
to break what
    needs fixing

I long for the heat and the rain and the green
Of the leaves as they blow in an August breeze;
With that smell of fires, and propane, and smoke, and the ocean
And the excitement of children when the fireworks light the sky.

I crave the affection of a carefree attitude,
The utter perfection of love and appreciation.
I want to listen to the sound of the days passing by
And hear my life be completed by each passing moment.

I want to lay in the grass and notice the sky,
Not for the color but for it's incredible height.
I wish I could forever remain in the clouds,
But I will surely shoot back down once September comes around.

I have never met one so broken,
So raw,
So completely exposed.
But, maybe that is only because I have found my way beyond your steep walls.
I have somehow dug under, or floated over, one method or the other,
And found myself here staring at someone I have never seen before.
This girl was important and she seemed very sure,
But something in her eyes told me otherwise.
So I stared and I cared and pretended to listen as she told me the truth from start to end.
And at the end of her story, I found that misery was not only found in her eyes,
But that her eyes were mine and I was seeing myself
For the first time.

Like hot wax
I melt
hoping to fall to your lips
and burn them a heavy red.

Like a box cutter
I use my nails and make scars on your wrists
and my tongue laps the blood that pours.

Like a syringe
I feed into you
and currate the disease.

Like a cigarette
I beg you to breath me in
even if it kills you.

Like alcohol
I want you to drink me
until you lose control.

Like ***
I want you to crave me
and scream your arousal.

Like an addiction
I want you to need me
every hour
of every day.

I got 99 problems and all of them's being happy
Cracks in the foundation
I don't know who I am supposed to be
4 years of life wasted
Tattered skins and ashen lungs
Barely survived, on the other side
Unsure of what can be done
To move forward now, changed as I am
Once so damaged, now a healed man
Recovery isn't a straight line
Relapse will occur
But for the first time in my life
I don't want to leave this world