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  May 2018 lilly grace
nicole
Your worst enemy is the one you hold the closest.
The one who knows your weaknesses and buttons better than anyone.
Knows the breaking point of me better than most.
The countless arguments, countless laughs, and deep conversations have made me aware of his soft spots, as well.
Somehow, we haven't managed to break each other yet.
Every argument we have is restrained, by the invisible cage we put on ourselves.
We hit, and leave each other bleeding, but also stitch each other back up.
Our fights are brutal.
When we talk to each other, there is a slight feeling of unease that causes us to pull back when we speak to each other,
analyzing what is appropriate to say to one another.
But we cut the tension with a knife that we hide in our back pocket.
There is a naturalness in the conversation.
A flow in the river that is not forced.
A wind that doesn't hit you in the face.
When we are together we are dangerous.
A ruthless team with internal problems.
Opposites but alike.
Normals but freaks.
Teammates but rivals.
That's us for ya.
This is about one of my best friends.
  May 2018 lilly grace
levi eden r
i woke up again.
this morning filling my glass with anxiety.
my limps swung, hung over me, and held me down.
i felt my heart turn into an anchor,
why am i feeling so much pain when i was okay yesterday?
i was laughing yesterday,
i was smiling yesterday.
those silent moments with both myself and my friends,
wiped my smile away as my sadness sat with me and sunk into me,
caught up with me.
"you're not supposed to be happy."
i don't want to be like this forever.
i'm banging my fists on the walls of my mind and on my walls,
in frustration.
i woke up again,
wishing i didn't.
i don't feel so good
  May 2018 lilly grace
Morgan Brehilt
Sometimes I think of killing myself
How the end would be so nice
How the darkness would swallow me up
And how the numbness would suffice
My need

For all the voices of the feelings
That constantly keep me reeling
To softly slow to a hush
As my brain starts tur-tur-turning into mush

How wonderful it would be
To have that powerful silence
Not even grasshoppers would bother
To wake me

My cells would stop dividing
My brain would stop the lying
Myself would stop denying
What I truly want

But but but
This is just a reckless fantasy
A way to elude one’s own reality

Because as I sit here on the floor
Tears drip drip dropping
I realize there’s those who care for me more
Cherish me more
Love me more
Than I love my own self

The crickets chirp
I put the pills down
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