I drove past that place
where we went to see
the fireworks and there
was some ghost of me
leaning against a ghost
of you. I saw myself
grumble "we missed
them" into your navy
striped shirt, watched
you kiss my forehead
and whisper "we'll find
others, beautiful. there
are always others."

We felt the winter moving through the air
but didn't feel it sink into our bones—
as by and by it settles into stones—
and yet it did. I can't recall just where

we were when I first felt that we were cold,
but I remember how you shivered even
in our bed beneath the blankets, even
under all my weight that you could hold,

insisting it was coming from within
your bones, deep down, and radiating out
to make your hand feel chilly in my own.

And now I've got the shivers, too. My skin
is cool with winter, chatters in my mouth,
as by and by it settles in a stone.

i've come to the decision to forget you.
you're toxic, like an energy plant leak & you ruined everything you've touched.
including me.
i've come to the decision to forget you.
you're reckless, like a roller coaster without a safety bar & i want off this ******* ride.
i've come to the decision to forget you.
you're nothing inside, an empty shell I tried to fill up with *** & text messages & love & attention but it was never enough.
i'm tired of not having enough left over to fill myself.
i've come to the decision to forget you.
you change like the seasons and i always mix up summer and winter & i'm getting far too hot and far too cold to stand it.
i've come to the decision to forget you
you're the worst kind of mysterious, because you're a mystery to yourself.
you never look in your dusty crevices to realize you're so much more than who you think you are.
i've come to the decision to forget you.
i'm no longer the one on your mind.
i'm no longer the one you want.
i'm no longer enough for you.
so i'm forgetting you.

My baby's not getting out

I'm keeping it inside daily

"too soon, too soon" I mentally shout

while humming to my mound gaily

there's been the panicked hospital drive

blood oozing down my legs

that trying to keep 'it' alive

my desperate to doctor begs



See this is my 4th pregnancy

each one greeted with hope

I've already lost three

this time I  don't think I'd cope

they can't tell me why

done every  test

all we can do is try

nature does the rest



5 months I've laid in this bed

legs crossed not moving

each bleed fills me with dread

but each day in, chances improving

please say a prayer for me

we need all the help we can get

that inside stays my baby

'its' not ready to come out, not yet

i have not felt good in a long time
so i would like to rest, if that's alright
just rest until i feel better
and i want to rest alone,
because if i don't
i may be distracted or self-conscious
and i know i'm just asking
to be cold
but i thought perhaps
every few days
you could open the window
and kiss my forehead
to remind me what
warmth feels like
and that this is not
an eternal slumber.