The weight of my truths
presses like stone—
no flood, no release,
only this grinding ache
against the sharp edge of language.

Each word is a wound reopened,
a splinter of myself
held to the light.
Silence is complicit,
it does not absolve,
only deepens the scar.

If my darkness stains you,
if the truth catches like barbed wire,
tear your gaze away—
this is not a plea for witness.
This is survival,
the slow unraveling
of a story that refuses erasure.

Do you doubt my suffering?
Do you doubt the sediment
of years pressed into me,
the residue of what I was?

What more can I give you
than this blood-inked offering,
this heartbeat fractured
between words,
pauses,
and the spaces you fail to see?

Let me remain unwhole—
not yet healed—
but forging the threads
that might someday
bind me to the surface
I cannot yet reach.

she doesn't seem to notice,
but I'm so vague now I'm a pale mist,
I see the world and all on it in shades of grey,
my thoughts shine empty as odd darkness persists,
my smiles masks it enough,
I'm a clown crying alone,
life's destroying me brick by brick,
and like a fool to it's song I sing along,

there are things I could change if I wanted to,
but the cost would be far too high to pay,
as to family you give more than heart and money,
and I suppose it's right and just to be this way,
but as the grey gets darker and ever darker,
I wonder how much more I can take,
before the rope and the tree and the bottle call,
as well as the 20 a day,