I hope you think of us on Malibu nights
A couple of sad drunk girls
under pink fairy lights
The sound of our laughter
drowning away
the tears that we've shed
I hope you felt all the love we've left unsaid

Perhaps I am attracted to melancholy
and to every lost soul
Like a distant call I refuse to ignore
I jump into every ocean
not knowing how to swim
No ounce of hesitation at all
But through every answer
Every outstretched hand
I hope to become the person
I once needed the most
I hope to be someone's salvation
I hope to save my own ghost

I want to take back the days I was sad
I want to show you that I can be better
Kinder, more lovable, braver
I want to take back the days I wasted
crying on my bed stuck in my head
When I could have,
should have been better instead
But I can't take back the days I was sad
No I can only be better

I am sorry
that my hugs
can be suffocating.
It's not always
because I'm scared
to let you go.
Sometimes,
I am just trying
to hold myself
together.

There was nothing between us.
No sweet words uttered in secret
No promises made under the moonlight
No longing looks stolen from time
No names patiently carved with a knife
But his lips stayed longer than they should
And his hands lingered for a while
His eyes spoke a language we never learned
Like something deep down had overturned

Why must I look into your eyes
And ask where I stand
In front of you
where you can't see me
Beside you
where I am forgotten
Or behind her
as a shadow you can neglect