we met in Mexico,
slept rough in the back;
the seats folded down levelled out
and tacked down with two springs

we went by cities
not knowing their names;
stopped at payphone kiosks
shamed our pasts with left messages on answering machines

we stopped at toll booths,
paid for more road to play on,
to drive over smooth,
to cross another border before the noon

we deciphered restaurant menus,
ate with fingers crossed and hoped
the chicken was just that,
left a tip lost in another used ash tray

we wore sun cream
to screen us against the rays
and the glare reflecting
off the mineral water, natural bays

we walked up to bars
asked for drinks in cold bottles,
sipped and supped until kisses rolled out,
left holding hands like mannequin models

we kept the trip a secret,
kept it secure between you and me
and the folds in the bed sheets,
we only exist in hotel cheap suites.

i find hearts
and i sneak inside
doesn't matter who they belong to.
in the quiet
i lie in wait
of a man
who i can breathe in--
i don't care who he belongs to.
i smile my secret smile
and i beckon them in
one by one--
no matter who they belong to.
i whisper from afar
declarations of love
tempting them, pressing them
doesn't matter who they belong to
in the quiet
i sit and bleed
names run red across my arm
i don't care who they belong to
i don't learn lessons
i don't remember mistakes
just keep on pushing ahead
i don't care that they belong to
people.
people with feelings
people who are not me
and then i realize
that i hope one day
i outgrow my psychopathic ways
and i remember who they belong to
but at the same time
as i sit here
in the quiet
waiting for
my turn
i wonder...
who do i belong to?

Don’t forget to get away every once in awhile,
To lose yourself in a book
Or in the woods behind your home
Ride your bike into the sunset,
Sit on your front steps and count the cars passing by,
Lay on your roof and gaze up at the night sky,
Drive along backroads with the windows rolled down
Listening to nothing but the sound of rushing wind

I hope you take the time to be alone,
To sort through the cluttered shelves of your heart

I hope you take the time to be silent,
To close your eyes and just listen

I hope you take the time to be still,
To quiet your mind and experience the beauty
Of simply Being

In a world that tells us we should always be
Connected, on the go, and doing something worth sharing,
I hope you know it’s okay to
Disconnect, slow down, and keep some memories
Between you and the moment you shared it with.

you look in the mirror,
what do you see?
I see a monster,
a monster looking at me.
not emotional
just a bit broken,
very quiet
with few words spoken
how many more bottles will it take,
for this pain to go away?

we stood
on the edge of a steep cliff
and we fell together
falling
in and out of love
you grabbed my hand
and said you'd never let go
you lied
and i hit rock bottom.

I hate leaving home on days like these:
when I can hear your ghost in the kitchen
washing the same dish 6 times because
you won’t be able to sleep with ketchup
staining your second favorite dish in the
cupboard.

You told me that if you were a tree you
would want to be a maple, because in
Autumn they leave red finger prints on
sidewalks like ****** clues left behind
at the scene of the crime.

I hate leaving home on days like these:
when I see your ghost sitting on top of
the cushioned window seat so you can
count the rain droplets running across
the glass outside, one finger tracing a
path or water and one finger twisting
your hair again and again.

I told you that if I was a tree I would be
a willow, my arms reaching down to the
ground you stood on, roots reaching out
for the sidewalks you walked on, trunk
reaching up to the clouds you loved
more than you loved me.

I hate leaving home on days like these:
when I am a willow constantly weeping.