"as she fixes her hair one last time in the mirror, her eyes trail up to meet her reflection.
she sighed as she stared at what she saw.
taking a deep breath, she puts on her best smile.
yeah that's good, she thought.
people will believe it.
four years & counting, that smile could fool anyone.
it could make her look like she was someone else entirely.
it was perfect, being someone else was much better than being true to who she really was.
because in the end, it all simmers down to the fact that no one would want to be friends with her.
with someone who is at conflict with herself,
someone who sits at night trying to get the voices in her head to stop.
someone who tries her best to cut deep enough,
hoping & praying that maybe one day it would all stop".

"he's everything you're not,
& yet you're everything I want".

"so I sit here in silence,
reading our old conversations,
looking at our old photos,
hoping that something might ignite that fire again.
it scares me.
because you were my everything & now you're nothing".

"but if you look closely, she isn't the same girl anymore.
the smile that was once brighter than the sun, is now barely even there.
the girl that once cared about everyone, now doesn't care at all".

"after a bottle and a half of *****,
and my head spinning uncontrollably,
you're still the only thing on my mind".

"the more she tries to push them away,
the louder they get.
telling her that she's worthless.
that her life has no value and it's better she ends it.
so she sits in her room at night, staring at the blades.
thinking of how the cool blades feel against her skin.
thinking that maybe if she cuts deep enough, the voices will finally stop".