I write stories of people,
Who disappear,
Of the closest friends,
That were never near,

Of the heartfelt hope,
That was never here,
Of the crimson road,
That's, never clear.

I spent my money,
On diamond rings,
Liquor, hard drugs,
Menial things,

Things to replace,
What I'd lost,
I didn't care,
About the cost,

The hate in my heart,
A cumbersome load,
And a heavy soul,
Yet to be sold,

Off out in the night,
I began to ride,
And in the pale moonlight,
I had to confide,

Life is more,
Than I'll ever know,
Only a fool,
Would let himself go

So still I ride, to this day
Trying to find,
My own way.

Just in case I catch you looking.

It took eighteen years,
But now we're here.
Fresh and alive,
With no fear.

What is wrong,
Is coming clear,
And great change,
Is drawing near

I can't seem,
to help myself.
Not when it's time to sleep.

Worthless thoughts,
Laid on the shelf,
As I'm slowly counting sheep.

The gun comes down,
I swing my fist,
His Bullet fires,
****, it missed.

As the cold creeps in,
Underneath your skin,

As all your ground,
Turns upside down,

Left and right,
gone with the night,

And all you fear,
Is drawing near.

That I'm severely damaged and I want you to help,
Without coming across like I need you.

More pretty little problems,
How exciting.
Isn't it bittersweet,
How it's so inviting?

Again and again,
You'll never escape,
Just go get your fix.
You'll be in good shape.

Today I told your story,
In all of it's glory,
And great awe,
the listener, did find.

We had started talking,
And then we began walking,
So I asked her then
if she would mind.

If I told her a story,
That was a little gory,
But nonetheless a story,
of mine.

She said go ahead,
That's fine.
Try me now,
unwind.

So that's when I told her,
Of when I wasn't older,
Of when I met a girl oh so blue.

Yeah she was bad one,
A sweet little mad one,
Yeah that girl, was you.

I told her of the play,
On the very first day,
That kiss in the dark,
The quick sneaking away,

Everything down to
the looking away,
When I watched you go,
On the very last day.

When we said goodbye,
To all of the lies,
When we carried on,
Our own separate lives.

I'm feeling kinda hollow,
It's a little hard to swallow.
Still Im in the lead,
So everybody follows.

Hate it all you want though,
There's no time to wallow.  
tell me what you need,
You just found that ****,
Waldo.

I don't even buy blow.
I just ****** snort it,
Gatta cop it from the *****,
That always seem to hoard it.
know they can't afford it.
I Wonder how they scored it.
Then I took four hits,
Got drunk and stole a forklift.
I don't give a horse ****.
I just want some more ****.

Got weird for a
few days,
Brain fried till my
eyes glazed
Smoked a little
more haze,
Screamed **** the pigs ,
Got tazed
strapped on my rollerblades,
And streaked out,
the VMA's

I don't give a ****,
Like a ******* Atheist
don't believe in luck,
Call me the ******* catalyst.

Every day,
I get the notion,
To drink myself,
A poison potion.

So if you see,
I'm doing well.
Know it won't be long,
Till I'm in hell.

And if you have,
Nothing good to say,
Then why don't you,
Just go away?

Oh Lately,
I've been blatently.
Holding on quite patiently,
Waiting so complacently,
Sitting just adjacently,
Smiling back at you.

I can't figure out,
Just what to do.
Yeah,
I don't know how
I can to say to you,

That I wish for you,
To come my way,
And if you do,
I bet you'll stay,

Because you're a girl,
Who loves her play,
And that's my life,
Almost every day

An adventure is,
Just a word away,
I can show you how,
If you can say,

Yes,
Today.

Then together
we could forget about,
Yes
~terday.

I'm more
strung out on pictures,
Than she's ever been,
And she's the one
shooting up,
******,

So I'm not surprised,
I can't let you in.

Yeah, I think this is fine.
I don't want to,
Call you mine.

Still In my eyes,
You can do no wrong.
And for every smile,
I could write a song.

Then when you fell asleep,
Right in my arms,
It was like the world,
Could do us no harm.

Yes,

It was all a dream,
For a little while,
I just hope you know,
That It made me,

Smile

The Telievision
Tells you things,
Lets you know,
Just what to think.

You can never stare too long,
The news tells you
what's right from wrong.

Go on out and,
buy these things,
diet pills will,
Make you shrink

You've got life,
made up all wrong,
Just compare it
to the songs.  

Your life isn't MTV,
So you must try,
And be just like me.

Sometimes it's surprising,
How it's fun to do some writing,
And to spend a little bit of time
alone.

I just don't answer the phone,
They can talk after the tone,
I'm not so worried about
what they need to say.

So I wake up every day,
And then I start to feel this way
that all the People are  
really wearing me down

So then i'm walking around,
losing it all over town,
And i'm just waiting it out,
To get back home.

So I get back to my place,
You know that I don't hesitate
To quickly take myself a seat
and jot one down.

And then i'm up late at night,
And now i'm having a fight,
With this ******' keyboard
I never win.

Bold and bright,
It strikes at night,
Illuminating,
Giving sight,

Followed by thunder,
hidden wonder,
heartfelt raindrops,
Taking flight.

Lost for years,
with faithful fears,
always close,
Still in sight.

If I'm stuck,
Out in the storm,
I'll be home soon,
To keep you warm.

Rope for sale,
Used once

I didn't sleep last night,
And I was sober.
That alone,
Shows I'm getting older.

But It doesn't matter,
Cause I'm fading away.
And I lose a little color,
Almost every day.

Torture myself religiously,
Call me a ******* martyr.
I met up with the devil,
And had no soul to barter.

Life is getting harder,

I don't see no ******* peace.
All I see are people,
Starving in our ******* streets,
Getting beat by the police
Can you stop the violence please?
I just want some silence, geez

I will not go quietly,
You will have to fire me.

Out the chamber,
Down the hall,
Through the house,
And Past the wall,
Out To the street,
And into Paul.
All because,
They made a call

So If you wish
To have it all,
Know if you run,
Then you may fall,
Don't waste no time,
Don't try to stall,
Stay head strong,
Tear down your wall.

It aches not really knowing,
Just to where it is I'm going.
Yet to never have the feeling I am lost.

It's like I'm walking around,
But yet I never get found,
It's only so safe and sound,
Out on the road.

So contently,
I am empty.
There isn't much left to say.

So quickly,
I grow sickly,
Too ill for work or even play.

Still my mind,
Is in a bind,  
No matter how hard,
it is I pray,

Still I'd rather *****.
Than get out of,
my bed today.

In a heartless world
of on-demand,
You and I
had better plans.

We spoke our dreams,
And we fought the man.
None of my friends,
could understand.  

When it came to what it was,
that we'd do,
we never really fully ever,
thought it through.

It always ended up,
With me and you,

Just laughing at each other.


So very many times,
Out in the cold,
Your bright red honda,
with the windows rolled.

You'd nuzzle right in,
so warm and bold,
A deep gentle calm,
to my roaming soul.

Yes I held you tight,
and I let you know,
That all of our memories
would never go.

You'd lean in,
we'd seize our moment,
Both of us,
dying to hold it.

I'd kiss your head,
Wish you a safe ride,
Watched you go,
as I walked inside.

I caught every kiss
that you blew my way,
Each and Every time
As you pulled away.

There is not a word,
that I can say,
used to describe,
How I feel today

Never thought that,
I would see this day,
When it's you and I,
On our separate ways.

Just another burn hole,
In the page,
Just another wrinkle,
Showing age.

Darling yes,
I know it's a little late,
But i'm begging you,
To just try and wait.

I'm not just fine tonight,
and
It won't just be alright.

I need to hear,
your soft voice say,
That every thing,
Will be okay.

I need to feel,
Your tight, warm hug,
As your alluring lips,
Give mine a tug,

Now I miss the sound of you sleeping,
So gently, next to me.
And I miss all of the moments,
Imagining what we'd be.

Yes ten years down,
That long dirt road,
you and I'd,
still be made of gold,

Each promise kept,
Both small and bold,
you'd love my fashion,
Even though it's old.

and I'd always tell the truth.
You'd never have to sleuth.

And we'd never need,
To relive the pain,
yeah we'd simply kiss,
deep in the rain.

And feel it wash,
Off all the shame,
Showing us,
We're not insane.

But I heard it may be true,
That I might've gone a little crazy,
Over a girl who's
name is you.

Becoming an adult in America is a profound experience.

I honestly don't believe that you're fully an adult until the day that you're an eighteen year old and you realize the equilibrium that exists between you and your teacher.

It's no longer a relationship between master and pupil, (as if it ever were)
It's a somber understanding that his dreams have died,
And yours are just about to.

Hello, hello,
Now it's time to go,
We hardly have time to talk.

So come, with me,
And soon you'll see,
I'll explain it as we walk.

Life it seems,
Is so mundane,
Until it's filled,
with so much pain.

As if we're searching,
for some purpose,
and we're all afraid,
of being "worthless"

Some of us,
are truly free,
While Most of us,
pretend to be.
with closed eyes,
What can you see?

I can hardly blame them.

It won't be me,
to prop them open,
I'm not a lens,
And they're not tokens.
So hear the words,
that I have spoken.
For They will lead you to the truth.

And if you'd like,
to hear some more,
come back next week,
for what's in store.
I'll meet you here,
right by the shore.

I won't be hard to miss.

She simply isn't the same anymore.
I felt completely
alone
while I was laying next to her.

I tried to give her a kiss, and she let me,
but I looked into her eyes before I did and the look on her face broke my heart.

She looked realIy
uncomfortable,
like I was asking for something absolutely absurd. As if we hadn't a million times before, cigarettes in hand with smiles on our faces.

I didn't say anything about it, but I was really injured on the inside.

I just
dealt with it
for a while,

but eventually I decided I really needed a hug,
something completely innocent so I could just feel the way she values even the most simple things we do together.

And so I hugged her tight and she wrapped an arm around mine and I cherished it.

Oh how I cherished it.

But then I opened my eyes and realized she wasn't hugging me back at all,
she was biting her nails
and texting.

I didn't say anything, but that's when it really sunk in.

I decided I wasn't going to just give up on it though,
I love her, right?

so I decided to grab her hand and squeeze it in mine just like I did the first time we hung out together.

It was the most
simple, loving gesture

I could think of, and I knew it would work because every time I grab her hand she squeezes mine really hard for a few seconds,

the way you grab somebody before they are about to be gone for a long time.

This is what I love most about her.

But no matter how many times I gently squeezed,

She
didn't
even
seem to notice.

In a minute I can tell you many things.

I could tell you I prefer rhyming poems,
I could mention that I'm in love.
I could tell you that I have a wonderful life and everything is going to be just fine.

And the next thing you know it's over.

At the age of five,
You feel so alive,
You're a buzzing bee,
New to the hive,

You've received,
Such a lucky mentor,
Your Education!
But it's indentured.  

You may spend your days,
in different ways,
But in thirteen years,
You'll have to pay.

So in your seat,
you'll have to stay.
Don't you worry,
There's time to play.

Do this work,
Don't fake you're sick.
Finish that piece,
Of Arithmetic.

Don't pay attention,
to foreign slander,
Keep up working,
On your grammar.

We help the world!
In every way!
Just like we did,
Columbus day!

Just you sit,
and pay attention,
Don't you dare,
Ask me a question.

No you can't,
Make an invention,
You must be crazy!
What's your intention?

Science is simple,
And dull and basic,
It's not too far,
that you can take it.

Get rid of them all,
Each thought you've got,
If you begin to think,
Your brain will rot.

Put down that book,
turn on the tube.
If you get lucky,
You'll see a ****.

I guess its time,
To end this rhyme.
I used to feel,
Oh so sublime.

Like something real,
like something true.
Something I won't,
Find in you.

It's okay,
and it's alright.
Never thought we'd land,
when we took flight.

There's no cause,
to start a fight.
So on I search,
For something right.

Staring through,
My looking glass,
I'm in awe,
As time goes past,

Every day,
Looks like the last,
Yet it flys by,
So very fast,

I walk out,
Into the clear,
Deep in the hills,
With no one near.

I climb the length,
Of the tallest tree,
To the highest branch,
So that I can see,

Everything,
That life can be.
From the sky,
Down to the sea.

Open your mind,
Let it free,
And a world of color,
You shall see.

It can't just be me,
So stuck in the sky,
Were breathing it in,
Just to get by,

As  smiles exchanged,
the stars rearranged,
The feelings we had,
Will cover the page

So don't try and judge,
Or tell me a lie,
All just because,
I learned how to fly.

Take a walk,
In my crazy shoes,
See the reds,
Greens and blues,
All the colors,
in all their hues,

And only you can see it.

Strolling down,
Across the town,
Laughing as I go,
Where I walk in my crazy shoes
Is not for you to know!

I said hi,
To me and I,
and they smiled as I went,
And there they were,
Laughing, Cackling,
Jeering out their hearts content.

But today,
I must concede,
That I may allow,
You to proceed

So take a walk,
behind my eyes,
you may find,
a small surprise,
for I am not,
Comprised of lies,
Although that's what they've told you.  

Take a step,
Right down the hole,
maybe it might,
Swallow you whole,

But if it does,
Then you'll enjoy it,
If you can learn,
How to employ it

Bring it to,
The best of you,
Let your heart,
shine on through,
To only you,
Can you be true.

Don't let a thing destroy it.

As Refugees,
from babylon,
How will we,
ever carry on?
They're wondering,
To where we've gone,

But we're almost home.

We kept on running,
Running on,
Distanced ourselves,
From babylon,
They must have known,
Just where we've gone,

Still we're
running all alone

Hateful hearts,
fast on our track,
They keep on lunging,
Quick to attack,  

Taking cover,
From all the flak,
Keep on moving,
Don't you look back,

Turn away,
And you'll die today,
Then the world forgets,
What you had to say.

Hurt as much,
As it may,
For every man,
Comes the time to pay.

We had Tie Dye hopes,
and hash laced dreams,
Smoke covers up,
Our heartfelt screams.

I was in pain,
and so were you,
That's the only thing,
I feel is true.

Numb me,
Numb me,
Numb me more,
I would smile,
as you'd implore.

My Fingers covered,
in the lightest green,
as I packed the bowl,
for my hippy queen.

Foot thongs,
and dream catchers,
little things,
That ease pressure.

Black leather,
a Devilish smile,
We were happy,
for a while.

The paintbrush generation,
waging war against the canvas,
Of society, so oppressive.
Can our murals speak more than volumes?
Will it be any less impressive?

I saw reds,
Yellows,
Blues,
There was them,
Me and you,
Each of us,
Made of two,
Kept on falling,
Falling through.

Into the lense,
it all must bend,
Every start,
shifts to an end,
Heart and mind,
Begin to mend,
When colors
Dont cease to blend.

Purple dreams,
And blue notes,
Singing out
our orange hopes.

Green leaves,
Long to last,
Brown ones,
Of the past.

Violet,
Indigo,
Seem to be,
all we know,
Neon pink,
Says hello,
when it kicks,
stay mellow.

If All our eyes,
Just want to play,
Let my Kaleidoscope,
Save the day.

Were only friends,
you like to say,
If that gets you through,
day by day.
And I suppose,
That that's okay.
Long as it's me,
To end your day

You work hard,
all day long,
now the two of you,
can't get along.
When you're upset,
and something's wrong,
he never seems to see it.

But I am here,
when you're afraid.
And we reside,
deep in the shade.
I feel like we,
Must have it made,
Because this just feels so perfect.

While nothing hurts,
and nothing's sore,
You've never seemed,
To be more sure.
Let me feel,
heat from your core.
For only you,
Do I adore.

We have our smiles,
We share our times,
We commit,
Our little crimes,
Nothings bad,
and nothing's broken.
So I don't mind,
what we leave unspoken.

Russian dolls,
like paper notes,
burn and burn,
like our hopes.

You'd love thier brilliance,
had you seen them,
but if you do,
we can't redeem them.

Burning, burning,
day by day,
we smell the smoke,
as we play.

No red flags,
no warning's flown,
no siren wailing,
the reverent tones.

Physical wealth,
that we adore,
cannot compare,
to how we're poor.

Thougts exchanged,
for a shiny necklace,
Hopes and dreams
Are getting reckless,

Faltered seconds,
splintered moments,
If we only knew,
how to control this.

No hesitation,
To this motivation,

I wont reconsider,
My contemplation.

Screaming

Into

Little

Empty

Nothings,

Completely

Excommunicated

Walk far out,
Into the woods,
All the things i'd change,
Only if I could.

If you're here,
where did I go?
Maybe if i'm lucky,
I'll never know.

I used to believe,
My life was bland

It was set on hopes,
And built in sand.

All The things we did,
We never planned

But we labeled it
" The Life"

We didnt care,
Just who was there.
What we did,
Or where we were.

All we ever did,
was try and feel,
"Alive"

So if I don't know,
Just where to go,

I hope you'll let me,
Take it slow,

Give me patience,
And Time to grow,

Let's share a smile,
And let it flow.

Lifting me,
loving me,
Mending what's broken,

Always for you,
My heart will be open.

Do we share,
Our misery?
What is it,
you see in me?

Do I make you,
Feel Light and free?
What keeps you ever,
So close to me?

It's not my smile,
Nor my words,
Half of which,
You call absurd.

It's not my hopes,
It's not my dreams,
From both of which,
You took the steam.

It's not my love,
nor my attention,
Any man,
can rig suspension.

It was my heart,
Back at the start,
but you have now,
torn that apart.

So tell me now,
What is in me?
Was it all,
For my loyalty?

I sell society,
Everything it wants to hear.
Capitalist propriety,
Let me just make it clear.

Poison Disassociation,
Can still mislead a nation,
Smiling as we're falling down,
Laughing as we hit the ground,

I say it's fine, with a smile,
Spewing "facts", all the while.

I'll change your mind,
I'll mend your views.
Remember this,
If you're confused.
I'll leave your brain,
Bloodied and bruised,
You can always,
Trust the news!

I fall in love much too fast.
I try to appreciate people.
I've been hurt in the past,
But not all are evil.

I give them all the best of me,
Right out from the start.
I am a loving person,
Eager to give out my heart.

I find you here in waiting,
As if it's perfect that I've come along,
We begin to flirt and speak of dating,
And we enjoy the familiar song.

We speak of moments,
In warm embrace,
Our huddled warmth,
Held face to face,
A kiss on the lips from me to you,
Something pure, something true.
Something with a deeper meaning,
Something finally right on Que.

But when I finally open up,
You weren't ready to fill my cup.
Now I sit, in cold despair,
And I regret, the empty chair.
The one once held by someone true,
Who changed and changed as we grew.
How I long for those old days,
When my hopes were more than flames.

Watch the ember spark to life,
Revel in it's brightened brilliance,
As the kindle begins to burn,
You're using twigs to build resilience.

As it catches add the logs,
build it even higher still.
build it strong, like a wall.
Make sure the fire gets it's fill.

Lie down and love it's warmth,
Sit here, enjoy the hill.
Look out into the stars,
Let your mind take in the thrill.

But when the logs begin to char,
and the fires strongest heat is elapsed.
Cease to build the loyal flame.
And smile over the time that's passed.  

Remember the moment,
recall the day,
and let the flame,
smoke it's self away.