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My sharp nails dig into the smooth skin of my forearms to remind me that I'm still here.
The way the world and all the people in it move through me and around me fills me with fear.

I open my mouth to speak but no sound comes out; and I can't even remember the sound of my voice.
It's been smothered by those around me for so long that to remain silent has become my only choice.

No one cares to hear the words trapped inside of me anyway, so why make trouble and bother to try.
It's become easier to stay within myself and be what they want while watching the world go by.

As long as I serve my purpose, I could go on like this forever without notice or care from anyone.
But something has shifted inside and I can start to feel that the fading within has finally begun.

I wasn't always this way you know; there was a time when I was a whole visible person and thriving.
But one after another they came along and took their pieces of me; leaving me shattered and barely surviving.

What's left is a faint silhouette of the girl I used to be before they came and went; but I'm fading quickly.
When there is finally nothing left of me, they won't even notice as they selfishly go on living their lives so sickly.

Not a memory, not a fleeting thought will be given to me, the girl they each used and took from so greedily.
Another poor girl who is easily used, broken apart, and disposable will come along and replace me speedily.

I feel it happening faster now; no seeing their faces, no thinking of the horrors, of their voices there is no hearing.
It's almost time to say goodbye to this cruel world and its evil inhabitants; for the time has come for my disappearing.

I thought I would be scared when this time came and that death I would certainly be fearing.
But as all the pain falls away and with it the memories too; I finally hear my voice and it is cheering.
Leisa Battaglia Oct 2022
You came into our lives, a new family member found.
But soon your plot of manipulation had my family bound.
Not all, just the most important one.
One you remind on a daily basis, you are his son.
You have lied and conned, and scammed your way into his guilt-ridden mind.
But what you now realize is that, with this daughter, resistance you will find.
Of the three, you think you are the smartest and strongest.
But I am smarter, stronger, and most important, been here longest.
For the man you wish to deceive, I would do anything.
Because in my life, he has given me everything.
He has been my protector, my guardian angel, my savior.
And a man like that doesn't deserve your criminal behavior.
So, let me make this very clear for your slow mind to understand.
If you try to break my family, what you will meet is my hand.
You're a small man with no morals to speak of.
For a strong woman like me, very easy to dispose of.
Be careful "brother", your secrets and lies run deep.
Up against someone like me, the truth you won't be able to keep.
You will be exposed for the snake you are just like the one who bore you.
That poisonous apple didn't fall far from the tree, liars both you two.
This is but a warning, but do not make the mistake to take it lightly.
Because this "sister" is ready to act, if you try to move, however slightly.
Leisa Battaglia Oct 2022
I walk through my day, mindlessly continuing my routine.
Day becomes night over and over; the months careen
down a spiral toward blackness that lies ugly and mean.
I converse and interact, yet my words and actions go unseen.
Many depend on me for plenty in their full existence
and they are never met with the least bit of resistance.
I work, I nurture, I provide, I worry, and I cry
without a single one of them asking me why.
They are mine and the responsibility I shoulder without question.
Yet, when it comes to me, I am treated with dismissal and rejection.
How can those I have devoted so much to be so uncaring and mean?
How, when my life revolves around them and theirs, do I remain unseen?
Leisa Battaglia Nov 2021
I don't want to open my weary eyes.
I can hear the sound of my own cries.
Life is like a black hole of nothing.
I'm barely holding on by a string.
I wish I could just let go and fall.
Release my grip and leave it all.

All of them would be better off without me.
No one understands how happy they would be.
Giving up should be so easy to do.
But the hardest part is giving up you.
I brought two beautiful lives into this world.
Now I feel their contempt as insults they hurl.

Money is better than a mother overbearing.
Even if all I meant to convey was caring.
I wish I could have been both mom and dad.
But in the end, unfortunately, I was all you had.
I'm sorry because I was never enough.
Maybe now you both will have a life less tough.
Leisa Battaglia Feb 2021
I remember when I started kindergarten, tiny and scared.
People were confused by this little girl, tan-skinned and curly-haired.
What is she? They all wanted to know.
Perplexed they were because my ethnicity didn't show.
Is she white? Is she brown? Is she black?
All their questions showing the knowledge they lack.

For your own selfish purposes, you can't put people in a box.
Because once they're inside you begin to secure all the locks.
It's what makes some insecure people feel secure and safe.
To put each person in what they believe is their proper place.
Each part of my heritage contributes to the strong woman I am.
You see, there is no box big enough for me in which for you to cram.

I see the world separating itself into colors; black, brown, and white.
Separation never leads to unification and it only leads to stress and strife.
If we look back, we were all prospering together not so long ago.
But now, under new rule, the future looks bleak and recovery is slow.
Lockdowns, face masks, corruption, and fake news have become the norm.
Without thought of the effects on our children whose minds are just beginning to form.

We have become a country full of internal struggle.
All due to a select few people who could use a muzzle.
Insurrection lies at every turn, except the one place they look.
As history gets erased daily; every statue, street name, or book.
America may not be perfect and its history may be full of hate.
But the ills of the past reparations and reverse discrimination will not sate.

Only when we look to the past can we correct the mistakes made.
None of us are our ancestors and we shouldn't be punished or paid.
We've come a long way since then and it must be recognized.
Our progress may not be fast enough for some but it's something to be prized.
I want our children to grow and learn from our unique history.
I don't want them to have to search for it like some big mystery.

So, to that tiny, picked-on girl I used to be.
The most important thing about you is that you are free.
It's not that you have to choose between blacks, browns, and whites.
It's that you stand up for each and every one of your constitutional rights.
As for this woman I am, many things that, unfortunately, you'll never see.
Because the world is now too focused on the color of my skin to ever really see me.
Leisa Battaglia Feb 2021
America.  Known famously as the melting ***.
It's suddenly become more important than ever if you're white or not.
We've spent years creating a society that tries to be color blind.
Now, no matter where you look, talks about the color of your skin are all you will find.
Everyone, besides Native Americans, is an immigrant here.
The color of anyone's skin is no longer so clear.
How do we separate all the different races?
I see many different races when I look into people's faces.
Because I am a Republican, I have been accused of White Privilege.
I choose to measure people based on their actions and knowledge.
The hilarious thing is I'm being judged and I am not all white.
Turns out, that doesn't matter as long as I belong to the party on the right.
I supported, contributed to, and voted for Trump.
That makes me worse in the eyes of the left than a ***** with a ****.
I'm a minority in more ways than one.
But the amount of ***** that they give is none.
I have a job, no welfare or Medicaid here.
But, for people coming into this country illegally, their fate is clear.
A free ride, where Americans like me, are left to take it in the rear.
Tax increases, unaffordable healthcare, no more free speech due to fear.
Everything you say that doesn't align with their agenda will be erased.
Just like they'll cancel you if their values and ideas are not embraced.
I am a woman and my heritage draws from many different places.
French, Honduran, Puerto Rican, English, German, and Italian; just to name a few.
We are all a mixture of many different backgrounds and races, even you.
Yet, I'm accused of White Privilege, based on politics alone.
So what if I work hard, pay my own bills, and own my home.
I believe All Lives Matter, not just the black ones.
Because no one is all black or all white, not our daughters or sons.
We'll never be united and strong until we realize this obvious fact.
America has been weakened in the eyes of the world based on the "victim act".
Slavey is a thing of the past and we should leave it where it lies.
Any society that tries to erase or forget its history eventually dies.
Republican or Democrat, we're all Americans here.
So, I won't be silenced out of fear.
A member of the working middle class.
I'll say what I want, keep my gun, and the left can kiss my ***.
Leisa Battaglia Feb 2021
Have you been canceled?
Just wait, it'll happen.
It's coming for you too!
Watch what you say.
Watch what you post.
Watch everything you do.
Because, whether you realize it or not,...
They're watching you!!!!
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