there is nothing in existence I can satisfy  
there is no kind of persistence that can pacify  
this constant need for more  
or restore the person i once was before  
there are no options - there is no substitute  
for a soul unable to execute  
anything, nothing without pain  
yet through the suffering I remain  
to continue the struggling-to feel the strain  
carrying round this weight on my brain  
it all being same, forever and unending  
my grief's looking like a ball and chain
in the light under saturn's ascending  
the stars brighten as the moon wanes  
to warn of the darkness impending

I want to believe him
cause I want to be with him
but the shrieks of my intuition
cannot be denied and insist that i listen
it’s a given and he should know
I’m not stupid just kinda slow
At determining friend from foe
I get confused and it shows
which is good for everyone except
me-cause i’m not anyone worth accepting
and i can feel him start to reject me
I recognize the vibes easily
is honesty still in use anywhere
The landscape of truth looks bleak, bare
barren as this love we share
as facades fade and float on the air
away without any care of being together
judging me on account of how I find pleasure
his only care is for us to be forgotten forever
But how can he let go of this forever
You sir are exceedingly more clever
than any riddle spoken by any fortuneteller
why does he deny his intent to sever
As he builds it up like architecture
getting soaked under perfect weather
he went hard only to go lesser
a man as synthetic as polyester
actin like he’s under a world of pressure
cause my love was real and I remember
giving him my heart not knowing he'd dismember
and tan it and wear it like leather
what’s left of it continues to fester
a ***** is a ***** regardless of gender

It feels like times stopped since that moment
Like I haven't been alive since then
Memories are all I know
What is presently happening
Isn't real to me
I'm just acting like I exist
But the truth is I died
The day u left with  
All my love and my pride
I should be dehydrated
Cause all I do is cry
The time I spend in tears
Is more than the time i spend drinkin water
I relive my fears
and then relive them again
look at me now
and you wouldn't recognize a thing
here i am though I don't know how
i got stuck in this nightmare, this dream
I dont feel like a human being
but people expect me to act like one
but im sick of acting
and now i'm done