I met a man one cold winter day
Who spoke to me in an unfamiliar way
He was so humble that I grew hopeful
I was just waiting on this man to make it vocal
But when he did, what I heard didn't convey
Any similarity to what I thought he would say
And I kept hoping and my hopes began to weigh
As reality soon then on my dreams would prey
Leaving me nightmares known as the dawning day
When everything in me needed him to stay
When I longed and yearned for us
Our love was only ever able to portray
A life lesson that was learned for us
About the depths and the many shades of gray
About perspective and about trust
Teachings of a hell we're destined to pay
And of a pain I cannot physically convey
Words, symbols, they leave undefined
The reasons why I can't get this man off my mind
Why i’m anxious and worried all of the time
My nightmares and reality are now intertwined
Yet i'd give any and everything to hit us with a restart
Even tho he played me as if playing a game of darts
I'll paint a bullseye on my chest for aim, for game, and art
I'd rather feel his grip piercing my heart
Then let what little remains left to fall apart

don't tell me what you think i already know
**** what you heard
I need you to give me your word
I need you to show respect
to forget that person you play on fb
spare me the weakass gobbledygook
i mean, I know its hard for you, havin to keep up with what you've said
tho ur perspectives never wrong..being a ******* angel and all with the heavens to dwell upon
but u still look down on me, on my mere morality to make u feel strong
oh beatified one, ur deeds maybe malicious but it's not ur fault
these things can't be helped when your the Earth's salt
and when im the godforsaken idiot who didn't highly enough exalt
your very presence, your every word
no wonder you had to talk all that ****
singing on cue like some sorta mocking bird
for production value - people love the script
a tragic comedy about how cruel it was and still is
that you had to even once suffer such a crisis
to suffer my love..all those weeks and with all depths of my heart and soul poured into my actions
ew..how'd u not die? I see  now the sight of me begs for ur lies
the agonious torture of my unworthy flesh, my blood
of my existence, my name you drug thru the mud..where soon, unsoiled, a lotus will bud
however ur seemingly 'necessary' truth manufacturing to avoid drama
was unnessacry since ur sorry *** coulda saved us both some trauma
i mean i don't know, maybe you are a divine genius
cause we're both here on earth yet somehow u found nirvana
but I think ur thinking of the light of Venus
any heaven, like hell, is what u make if it
infinity has no tolerance for hubris
the highly evolved spirits, the Athenas, Pegasus', Ramas
Jesus', Mohamads, all the angels and prophets
are without being, no space or time can hold
yet ur convinced ur entitled to b idolized in gold
and theres nothing u can say u haven't already heard told
you know everything except for your own soul
which reflects badly on ur momma
Cause that ***** birthed your *******..como te llama?
te llamo un ****, just another ***, no ******* Romeos
so form now on I call you mi amigo perdido
cause if you ever come round my way again
ima squash you like I do a ***** **** blood ******* mosquito.

Michael I need you now
I need someone to talk to
and there's nobody else but you
who else could possibly know what to say
why did you have to die that day
cause I can never not love you
you're what I imagine a man should be
something like a soulmate to me
God why, we were so young
I can't believe these words on my tongue
this lack of control is a nightmare I cannot accept
**** having to have the inalienable regrets
why can't we go back to january
don't know how itll happen but you have to be there with me

time usually heals faster than this
I must be stuck in some sort of time lapse
in an alternate dimension like abyss
my realitys been about to collapse
but none of it feels real to me
cause where can I go if I can't go back
and all i know is an illusion, a dream,
a black sky-what I discouragingly lack
is myself and all its esteem
my having fell victim to a strange hijack  
I go through the motions like a machine  
you see me functioning but im under attack
I need some fuel, some gasoline
or whatever will help me stay on track
cause I can only get so far on moon beams
and I care about progress, not you, not syntax
just the nightmares and the screams
that continue to haunt and entrap
my existence with their extremes
I need to hurry before I end up a maniac
tho I am kinda programmed for this routine
if someone would just get a ***** a map
i'd be gone and life less obscene
instead i get variations of prozac
with my misfortune..but i’ve seen
glimpses of my destiny and now I know that
the pulse of my heart, of my bloodstream
will guide me to the end of my suffering