Dear wifey
I had a bad dream last night
I had a dream that I lost you,
I woke up screaming, sweating
And I just couldn't stop the river of tears flowing down my cheecks

I know it's funny that I haven't met you yet
But I can't live without you
The thought of my life without you feels like a never ending black hole of nothingness
Dark, cold, empty
I know we don't know each other yet but,
I pray for you more than I pray for myself
I long to see you every second you're away
It's a mission to even blink because that micro second without seeing your face, breaks my heart

I sometimes just think about you and smile
And in that little moment, I just get lost
I dissappear into another world where there is just US

It's funny I don't know your name,
Yet it rhymes with mine
If I was a poet I would write a beautiful piece just with our names
Or if could sing, I'd make a beautiful melody with only your name as the chorus and it would hit platinum sales

I know I don't know your name yet
But I sometimes find myself signing your name next time
The bank declined my loan because my ID names didn't match what I wrote
I tried to explain to her that I can't be without you even on a piece of paper
I can't believe they asked me for a marriage certificate
I told them it's not in any peice of paper because it's written in the stars
And they called the security guard on me
It's okay babe, they don't yet understand

The other day I told my mom about you
She was so happy I could see it in her eyes
She couldn't stop smiling
You're just a perfect daughter in law she never had
I still wonder why you took this long to meet
It's funny how people think you're her daughter
I remember they first day my friends saw you with my family, they thought we were related
It must be that matching soul thing that got us looking like one person

By the way, my sister hid our wedding pic
She says it brightens her kitchen
I wanted to take it but I didn't have the heart because your smile really do light up her kitchen

Okay my love, it's getting late now
I hope you arrive soon
I'm waiting to hold you and never let you go
I love you to the moon and back

Yes, I can see it now.
It's so vivid in my head I can almost taste it
After all these years
Swahili as a official language of Africa
And one currency for the whole continent
Land is for all who live in it
Agriculture is bigger than any mineral resource
Borders are just lines drawn on a piece of paper
Color is the thing of the past
Political leaders are not self obsessed cows who are self serving and only serve lies to the poor for supper, empty promises for breakfast and tax burdens for lunch
A Africa where being an African and proud is something to be celebrated daily, not just a show-off play dress up thing once a year
A green Africa where more trees are planted quicker than their cut down
Green energy is embraced
Churches are open shelters for the homeless
Teaching is a respected profession
Every child goes to school
And no child crosses a lake and walk 5km to school
Schools actually nurture kids talent and don't just train them to be working slaves
Private and Public schools, clinics, hospitals or anything else are held at the same standard
Men actually take care of their children and baby mamas
A CEO is given a same respect as the Janitor
Corruption is no more
**** is legal
Pigs are flying and...

Wait, Pretty obvious I'm high right now
There's no way corruption will end
Well, there goes my joint.

Words don't mean jack to me no more, only actions does
No sweet nothings will work, only actions will
No romantic poems will work too, only actions will
No love song you can sing will convince me otherwise, only your actions will
You can say you love me to the stars and back,
You can even promise me the world, and I'd still won't believe a thing
Even your tears don't move me no more,
Only way to convince me, it's through your actions
Show me, so that I know it's real
Because baby, Talk is cheap..

I'm looking for that person who told you it's okay to slaughter a cow but not a cat
And who told you slaughtering a goat was evil
Who told you that only cows and sheep should be eaten
That person who told you cow milk was "healthier" than your moms breast milk
Who told you the Bible was superior to the Quran
Who told you Silasi, Buddha, Mahommed, Krishna & Christ were different
Who said African ancestors were evil and English ones weren't

I'm looking for that person who told you mordern medicine was better/different from traditional medicine
Who told you cannabis was a drug
Who told you English was a sign of intelligence, and illiteracy shown you were 'stupid'
Who told you education makes you wise

I want that person who told you being 18 means you're old enough to vote, drink, get married, etc Why not 13?
Who told you a woman's place is in the kitchen and a man's in the garden
Who told you that you have to wear specific type of clothes

And who the hell told you white skin was better looking than melanin?
The person who told you you gotta bleach your beautiful melanin skin, burn you hair, speak a foreign language, to fit in
Who told you my dreadlocks were 'unprofessional' and untidy, and your silky hair wasn't?
Give me that person who told you "thick" was better than "skinny"
Who told you big bums are sign of beauty

I want the person who told you 'traditional' wedding is not legal but 'white' is
That person who told young people it's Okay to respect elders
Who told them it's okay to disrespect tradition
And that person who told you you can't change tradition

I want that person who took your ability to think for yourself
Wo took your ability to reason, research, read

Bacause all I see is a lot of dead fish flowing with the river

You want to know what's unfair?
Unfair is having diagnosed with pulmonary tuberculosis at the age of 22 despite never having smoked a single cigarette your entire life.
Unfair is having to take 3 months unpaid leave because you're "not safe" to be around anybody.
What's not fair is the inability to walk 5 steps to the kitchen without running out of breath.
What's not fair is the never ending painful coughs at night and having neighbours complaining.

You know what's unfair?
Unfair is losing half of your lung in a battle you never started.
What's unfair is hearing your family members talking behind your back claiming you have Aids, despite never been with a woman before.
What's unfair is fighting so hard to get back on your feet, to get back to full recovery only to get the news that you are now diagnosed with Bronchitis;
Hearing that you will never be able to run like you used to.
That you will never be able play soccer again.

What's unfair is the constant fear that follows after.
The fear that no girl would ever want you.
The constant fear that you might never be able to satisfy any girl.
The fear that, what if you get someone sick despite being 100% cleared?
Now that is unfair.

Unfair is whilst other people take few days to heal from cold and flue, you have to take weeks of antibiotic treatment, just to rid off the same cold.
What's unfair is people constantly thinking your TB is back everytime that cold starts.
Unfair is constantly having to explain why you breathe so heavily.
Unfair is always trying to act "normal"
You really wanna know what's unfair?
Unfair is having your brother lose the battle against the same TB you won against 3 years ago.
What's unfair is having him leave behind his 3 year old with no one.
What's unfair is that you didn't choose any of this.

And Unfair is writing all of this with a broken heart and a tear rolling down my cheek, because this is a true story.
It's My story. And regardless, I'm Still here.

What do you say to someone who has just lost everything?
You can't say you understand what she's going through because you'd be lying.
You can try to say Sorry, but that won't bring back what they lost.
You can't just ignore it, because it's tearing you apart.
You can stay quiet, but won't be able to hold the tears.
So what do you say?
What do you do?
Do you hold her?
Do you read her a scripture? That's if you can hold the tears long enough for you to read.
What do you do?

All you can think about is What If?
What if you spent more time with him?
What if you were a better friend?
What if you played one last Fifa 18 game with him?
Just that one last shot.
One last Goal.
One Last penalty miss.
One last cheer.
One last scream.
One last laugh.
What if you grabbed just one last Heineken beer with them?
Just what if?

What if you where in that car with him?
You know scientists say just one small change in a time line could alter the future events.
Maybe you were supposed to be in that vehicle with them.
Maybe everything would still be normal by now.
Just maybe.

Just when everything was going right in his life.
When he just got married.
When he just got a baby girl.
So what do you say now to the widow?
What do you say to this grieving mother?
What do you say to this few days old baby girl?
What do you say?
What can you say?

I'm not my eyes, not my face, not my smile. I'm not my legs, or my hips, or arms. I'm not my weight. I am not My Body.

And just like any vessel, I would one day leave this body, and I will live forever.

Because what I am, is far beyond appearance.