Stark naked and vulnerable for another’s eyes
You see skin, bone and beating heart
While
Behind your eyes, I see the dark
                           *-lf-

B.F Skinner tried his hand at being a novelist before pursuing psychology
- for both a writer and a shrink try to understand the human condition.

*-lf-

they try to find me another
push me out towards the sea
but I'm still drowning
in your river
still craving the way
your water kissed my knees

they tell me I deserve to be engulfed
by waves
but all I want is silence
the ocean is too loud

your still water
is all I need

*-lf-

Dangerous confusion threatens to break the last seam
I'm floating in limbo,
desperate to get out of this dream.
In the blink of an eye you've corroded my mind
Invading my soul;
a lover in disguise.

You've trespassed upon my land,
You've torn down my walls
And yet I offer you my hand
When I should let you fall.

I've been injected with poison
And adjusted to its bitter taste
This heart that once was frozen
Has melted with quick haste

If I leave my throne,
If I let you win
Will you claim my possessions
And leave me drowning in my sins?

Will you trample over my chest,
Will you drown my lungs?
Will you laugh at this mess


                                                                  Oh lord, what have I done.

I have let you in
I have let you win
All that I feared,
Is coming to life.

Standing, I watch my ship sink
And I realize,
We were always at the brink
And I ripped the seam
when I let my heart fall
Now I stand in the r
                                    u i  
                                           ns,
Rebuilding my walls.

*-lf-

I love the winter
-- oh how I love the cold.
The numbing temperature is morphine to my soul.
Rushing through my veins, turning my blood to ice
A natural drug; my only sense of sanity, my demonic vice
And it frees me.

I love the winter,
and all its melodramatic glamour.
There's a sheen of romantic sadness when church bells clammor
I love the winter;
-- it's when I came out of the Cave.
Saw the Truth for what it was,
and wrote it down page by page.

Leave me with the snow;
I want to hear the church bells
              ring.
*-lf-

You chase her
and get nowhere.
I chase you
around back alleys
and all I get are strangers
who resemble you.
But their touch doesn't fool my body.
When will we get it right?

*-lf-

I tried to drown your memory with his cologne
But when I got home all I wanted to do was *****.
And no matter how many times I wash my clothes
and wash my body
I feel him poisoning my skin.
Even now as I lie broken
from his theatrics
you  still haunt the cemetery of my mind.

*-lf-

I just want to cradle you in my arms, in all your brokenness.
Just love you for everything they hate you for.
We can drown in our misery together;
talk about Hell and our plans when we get there.
I’m so filled with n o t h i n g
                   and so are you.
My dear who are you?
I certainly don’t know.
I don’t know who I am.
I don’t know anything.
But that’s okay; neither do you.
                                                 That’s why I love you.
*-lf-

I constantly envision myself swimming through the sea
Where there are sharks incessantly nipping at my feet
Waves crash on over my head, drowning out existence
I try to push, pull over the tide, with great persistence.

But no matter how fast I try to swim,
It seems that the tide always wins.

*-lf-

You think I don't believe in the compliments you spin
When it's opening your words
And finding nothing but dust
That causes me to
f a l t e r

*-lf-

Small wrist
Tight fist
You won’t miss this
My punches,
They aren’t aimed for you
They’re for the walls
The walls that I built
I’ll tear them down on my own
I don’t need you
I don’t need you
I never needed you
Adrenaline,
It makes me feel alive
I feel it in my veins
It takes the place
Of the bitter pain
It’s better than pain
Anything’s better than pain
My heart,
It’ll make it on its own
It’s lived many lives
It has grown, and grown
And now it’s old
Fragile
But my body is not fragile
I am not fragile
I refuse to be fragile
Let me feel
Help me feel
Prevent me
Stop me
From hating
What I used to love
What I used to crave
Has brought me to my knees
And I scream, battered,
As I bleed
Pull me from the wreckage
Where are you
Where are you
You
You’re within me
You’re what I bleed
You’re what I see
You’re what I need
You’re my disease
And I’m just a fiend
You can’t fix me
I’m a fiend
Disgusting disease.
Hopeless.

*-lf-

Don’t fall for a poet.
She will build up walls.
She will do anything to stop you
From crawling into her heart
And making a nest,
Making yourself at home.
She will barricade her mind.
You will only be able to read the trickles
That she so wisely chooses.
Don’t fall for a poet because
If she does decide to let you in
She’ll be careful to lock the doors
And sleep with a knife under her pillow
Every night she will wake up in cold sweat
And scribble down words that voice her regrets
Don’t fall for a poet
Because when you wreck the home
You made in her heart
And leave without a word
She will build up walls of iron this time
Don’t fall for a poet
Because her words will haunt you
Don’t fall for a poet
Unless you want to be her muse
Want to feel what it’s like
To be eloquently,
Verbally
Abused

*-lf-

My bones are weak, my heart is numb
My mind has caged me, I’m coming undone
I’m spiraling into darkness, once again
I’m losing myself, I can already see the end
There’s a dark tunnel, and the light seems to be behind me
All I’m praying for, is for another lost soul to find me
For a heart to hold me, for a hand to guide me
My bones are weak, they break on your command
I can’t seem to determine, whether I want to die on my knees
Or get shot while I stand
Please rip out my heart, cut open my mind
Try to read the fickle thoughts that have been left behind
The barrel is at my throat, I feel the metal against my chin
I thought it was over, but again it shall begin
I’m destined to be insane, to be alone, to die in vain
I don’t need you, I don’t want you
Leave me alone
Leave me
And my bones

*-lf-

How can I let my lifeline be something
so inconsistent?
How can I let my food be a plant that’s
growing season is whenever the sun is out,
in a land where there are clouds more often than not?
I don’t have the lung capacity to hold my breath
when you’re not around.
Cigarette packages are marked with caution signs by law -
I don’t see why relationships don’t come with the same label.
Love me when it conveniences you.
Maybe you won’t love me at all.

*-lf-

I’m intoxicated by your scent
I smell you on my skin
Every time I take a breathe
I inhale the aroma of your sin
I feel your fingers on my body
Your lips brushing my neck
I feel remnants of what we were
Dripping in my cold sweat
I’m drowning in this ocean
Tied down by the tension
I’m screaming for change
Just a little attention
I hear my name slip off your tongue
I see the honesty in your eyes
God you make me feel so young
This is what it must be like
To be alive

*-lf-

Her skin isn’t scarred, but her soul is ripped and tattered
Her flesh may be clean, but her heart is bloodied and battered
Words do more damage than an iron sword
Removing flesh from bone and chopping heads whole
He lit a fire made from malice and deceit
And sparked the flint beneath her innocent feet
Watched as she writhed, porcelain flesh alight
Cackling as she turned into a mere shadow of the night
With his tongue and his hissing, he burned her alive
Smeared dirt on her pretty face and tore out her eyes
Better to die with your dignity than perfect skin
For perfection will eventually reflect the demons within

*-lf-

In my psychology class this year I read that
lab rats walked over broken glass
starved themselves to near death
and chose to be tortured
if it meant they could receive electric shocks.
And despite my damaged heart
I still yearn for your electricity.

*-lf-