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Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
Fog
The anger rushes through my blood like *******,
After all this pain,
Hearing your voice will never be the same.
It courses through me, calm and collected
I try to be, I try to be.
Breathing air like I will never be given oxygen again
And you smile, but I reciprocate with one of pain.
My heart hardens into a stone,
Putting the final brick on this wall that I have built
This wall that blocks emotion; the soul you killed.
The anguish that has tormented me for so long has surfaced,
All neatly packaged into this situation I cannot escape.
And try as I might I can't erase the image of your face.
That smirk that shapes your lips, painted by Deceit
As I stare back my eyes reflect the fury lying beneath
The rage, that has been held back for far too long,
Eager to burst through my veins,
Like a dove waiting to break out into song.
Thoughts of retaliation burn holes in my mind,
Leaving all thoughts of understanding behind
Lies, they dribble through your lips like fine wine.
Blood red and ever so bitter with your insecurities.
The insecurities that are being heaved onto my back
You ****** them against me, trying to make up for what you lack.
But I’m fading; I’m a passing fog that once carried the Sun
And when you finally notice its beauty, I will be long gone.
*-lf-
Written sometime in 2012 in the middle of my philosophy class out of pure anger. I still remember the moment quite well.

© Leelan Farhan 2012
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m sorry that you can’t
Love me.
I’m so hard to swallow
My words are lined with glass shards
My voice is never airy
I’m just a jumbled mess
And I’m sorry
I’m sorry I’m not put together
I’m sorry that I can’t let go
I want to
I’m sorry I won’t break down these walls
But it’s gonna take more than an axe
I’ve already tried that
I’ve tried everything
But I’m trapped
And I’m sorry you can’t love me
I can’t even love myself

*-lf-
I found this in my blog archive. Winter was never my season - all my darkness seems to seep from there.
© Leelan Farhan
    January 2013
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
This is a ghost town,
filled with ex-lovers
and former friends.

Drowning in denial
Never to see one another
again.

This is a lost town,
where young hearts wander,
desperately clinging to their past.

We push and we pull
Pull and we push
But moments never last.

A forbidden town --
the town of my heart.
The town that closed its gates on you
As soon as we fell apart.

                         *-lf-
© Leelan Farhan
    June 8 2013
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
I thought it would get easier as time passes
but every time your name leaves my mouth
I feel all the oxygen in my body leave with it
depleting my energy
ripping my throat to shreds as it makes its way

Your name --
It used to sound delicious on my lips
leaving me breathless
Now it's a different kind of breathless.
The kind that suffocates me
and laughs as I begin to choke.

I used to think it brilliant that you saw colours
when you heard my voice.
Now I wonder if the only colour you'd see is
that of darkness and hatred

                                     *-lf-
© Leelan Farhan
    June 7 2013
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
I was always on my knees for you
but never once did you think of
throwing my legs over your shoulders

*-lf-
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
Her skull;
sallow and broken -
full of decay
ruined beyond repair.

*-lf-
My first haiku in a very, very long while. Never been too great at these.
© Leelan Farhan
    June 2013
Leelan Farhan Jun 2013
broken church
sins drowning veins
breathe like silence won’t pull you down
torn dignity spinning you away

                        your body isn’t love

children inhale battered minds
like it’s an inhaler
but it won’t save them
it won’t pull these waves
from my flesh
and stop my little lips
from smiling at death

I dream of your sweat
when we’re entangled

but your thoughts are vile
and my bones don’t need you
filthy
bloodied
broken churches

*-lf-
A little something I threw together using my "words" page; thought I'd put it to use.
© Leelan Farhan
    June 5 2013
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