It was one of those mornings
where you peer out your bottom floor window,
and look up at the raindrops freshly fallen.
You feel broken,
and yet rushed with an unexplainable emotion.
but you know it’s a good one simply with a bad aftertaste.
You see people everyday, no, you stare at them.
You wish for relationships you once had.
Others you wish you could hold,
and those you could never give up.
Have you ever heard the saying about faking a smile?
It’s an understatement.
It’s not sadness, or anger really, just pain.
It doesn't start out as pain, it just evolves, over time.
The madness results in Emotionally caused Physical pain.
The pain doesn't hurt, it just...sits.
This emotion that we've nicknamed pain, rushes through the body,
Arms numbs, legs shaking, eyes holding back, everything.
It’s all caused from sight, with a drop of longing.
You see this person everyday.
You long for the same people every single day.
And your body just longs for them.
It’s not as lustful as it sounds.
You just possess an attraction to these people.
An attraction that even the most specific and descriptive of words could not describe.
You sit there and you are bound by society’s lock on intermingling.
You are bound by the mock and disgust of others.
You are bound by that person of which you desire.
You are bound simply by yourself.
All this.
All of this Emotion, if you will, was bound in that little drop that clings to the window.
That was but a drop of what I feel every single day.
You can’t imagine
but don't let me sound as if I am exaggerating.
For I am not.
I have felt wonderful things.
Things I am not sure most of you have felt.
Though I wish you could.
I wish I could place my hand on your chest
I wish that all of that energy, that emotion, would flow into you and then back into me.
I could look into your eyes, and I would know, that you know, how I feel.
You could understand everything.
You could sympathise.
but the fact of the matter is, you simply can’t.
I do not believe you have felt what I have felt too, no.
Different version and variations, yes.
But this feeling of impossibility, I know you have not felt.
You are common rebel,
this is not bad, no not at all,
you have more opportunities to release this emotion than I ever will.
And i envy you. All of you. Every Last one.
You look away from the rain drops.
You go back to living.
You go back to hiding.
You go back to solitude.
Yeah, it was just one of those mornings I guess.