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 Mar 2014 Le Lotus
Theia Gwen
Her
15
Minutes
Of
Fame
Came
Only
After
She
Was
6
Feet
Under
 Mar 2014 Le Lotus
Theia Gwen
I have a certain paranoia
That everyone hates me
I know it's completely irrational
But this anxiety won't stop plaguing me

I feel like a burden
For simply existing
I'm fidgety, anxious and restless
Bracelets on my wrist always twisting and untwisting

A squeamish feeling in my stomach
When I hear laughter
The whole day is now spent
Thinking about it long after

Logically I know not everyone hates me
I know the things I tell myself aren't true
But I take solace in the fact that
No one will ever hate me as much as I do
 Mar 2014 Le Lotus
Theia Gwen
She's just looking for attention
That has to be it, right?
Just a melodramatic girl
They ignore all the signs

She's just looking for attention
That's what they're all saying
It's funny how when it's all said and done
They'll cry that they didn't see it coming

She's just looking for attention
They yell "You shouldn't joke about suicide!"
She represses a bitter laugh and thinks
Too bad I won't see your reaction to the punchline
It ****** me off how depression and suicide are so stigmatized that people can't reach out for help without being called an attention seeker. I hate how our society can't have real conversations about suicide and every sign is ignored. I don't know. I've been really suicidal recently.
 Mar 2014 Le Lotus
Theia Gwen
The one thing you'll never understand
Is that it's the negative words
That you remember above all else
You throw me into counseling to try to get things fixed
But no amount of "I love you's" will make me forget
The days the words "I hate you" escaped from your lips
 Feb 2014 Le Lotus
Theia Gwen
How dare you call yourself pro life
And then make me want to **** myself

How dare you say that you're a Christian
And then act with hatred and intolerance

How dare you tell your friends about your new diet plan
While I'm silently throwing up dinner upstairs

How dare you ignore and insult me
And then get angry at the fact that I'm withdrawn

How dare you tell me you love me
While my tears flow down my bruising cheek

How dare you destroy me on the inside
And wonder why I'm showing it on the outside

How dare you boast about my high grades
When you used to call me stupid when I was slow to learn

And how ******* dare you call yourself my mother
When you've become my worst enemy
To my dear lovely mother, who else?
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