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38 · 1d
she shines
she is jazz
she is freedom
she’s the sun

maybe she’s
the one

her joy is bright
and cheerful

beyond the clouds
invisible to the eye
she hides her heart
and smiles

waiting for a sign
or for me
to make up my mind

would you rather dream
sleepwalking
or live your dreams
awake?

she asks,
knowing the answer
is in the question

another life lesson
a chance
to feel everything
again

patience, my dear
love is only
the absence
of fear

and magical things
happen to men
with beards

we can escape 
to the sun

or look inside
to find beauty

in ourselves
before it’s gone
“Let’s play Head’s Up”, she said. “You know, where you have to guess the word that’s written on your head! Oooh, I’ve got the perfect one for you…” She looked at me and wrote down a name. We all played and asked questions to guess the names on our heads. The name on my head was Goebbels, a **** of the worst kind. After a minute or two, my instincts kicked in and I realised what she had done. We broke up two weeks ago and we were back to just being friends. It all seemed a bit below the belt to me. I stood up from the table and said: “So, you think I’m a ****?” I slammed the door and left the bar. She called me back, but not to apologise. She told me it was all just a silly game. “I feel really sad for you,” she said. “It must be awful living in your head with all that paranoia.” I had to give it to her, she was good. “DON’T TAKE ME FOR A FOOL!! GO AWAY!!” I screamed, and hung up the phone. I felt annoyed but also relieved, and went to bed. Just as I began to question my sanity, I understood. If this was an explosive reaction to my buttons being pushed, then I needed to take another bus. She was not the one who was going to help me heal my deepest wounds. I guess friendships only last as long as friends do. Be careful who you hurt. The next day I wrote her a long message, trying to explain Venus to Mars. Sometimes it’s better to let them win their little games. She wrote me a nice formal letter back and that was the end of that, but not the end of the world. It never was, no matter how hard I tried.
I’m pretty
talented, calm, helpful
and understanding

after a couple too many drinks
and some overthinking
I become another person

angry, resentful, impulsive
and agressive

through our choices of
substance abuse
we often experience
a personality change

yet
negative emotionality
can also be
a positive thing

in the end
it teaches us something
about ourselves

sometimes
I’m under the impression
that my life choices
dictate my quest
for the joy of life
in a way that affects
my relationships
and desires

I probably think too much
about these things
so
I instinctively distance myself
from clubs
I’d like to belong to

we must live
and experience
to the fullest
no matter
what
our
choices
are
We rarely call, we mostly text
This could be love, if I don’t stress
The little things… I must confess
I really think that we are blessed
I roam the streets with empty feet
Not one to judge but I can’t speak
I think too much but I don’t preach
Promised myself no drinks mid-week
Went for a trip, not even three
Express myself on jazzy beats
The girl behind me pretty sweet
I really try to be more free
Another day, too much to feel
Where this is going I can’t see
End up alone with strange beliefs
The kids are cool and so are we
Larmes de bonheur, et rêverie
Manque d’ouverture, mélancolie
Un jour partir, très **** d’ici
Pour échapper de, qui je suis
Je veux te voir, pas tes amis
Je connais tout dans cette petite ville
Je voyage seul, c’est la belle vie
J’ai tout écrit, l’esprit tranquille
Au point où j’en suis,
Comment parler de ce que je vis
Je veux te voir mais tu me fuis
C’est dire beaucoup sur ce qu’on évite
La vie est simple, t’as tout compris
Ma vie d’artiste, l’esprit fébrile
Tout ce que j’écris est rarement dit
Je t’aime un peu beaucoup à l’infini

— The End —