Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                  Betrayed With a Kiss-Cam


                    And the sunlight clasps the earth
                    And the moonbeams kiss the sea:
                    What is all this sweet work worth
                                If thou kiss not me?

                          -Shelly, “Love’s Philosophy”


A kiss is just a kiss, as Dooley Wilson sang
In a Casablanca that never was
A kiss to give one’s life a bit of tang
A kiss to set a lonely heart abuzz

But great unwashed mobs stacked in their masses
Close-looped in a failed sub-culture of dust
Metal in their noses and tattoos on their *sses
Will never find truth without finding trust

For love can never depend upon
The vigilante cruelty of a jumbo-tron




Tech company Astronomer launches investigation into 'kiss cam' moment at Coldplay concert - ABC News

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                Loose Vowels

A, E, I, O, U, and sometimes Y – why?
(Asking for a dipthong)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                        The Crown of Rachel


                        From an idea inspired by Nat Lipstadt
                          while we discussing something else


A dream about our teacher Akiva of Yavna
When the Romans took a respite from murdering us:
In our youth we approached a little house
Though we were tired from following the goats all day

Akiva was tired from tending his beans
And from Jacob-wrestling with great ideas
But he smiled and asked what he could do
Do for us little children bubbling with questions

“I am inventing the synagogue,” he might have said
“What is a synagogue? A new kind of Temple?”
“It is a machine for learning, a temple of the mind
A school, an altar upon we sacrifice our ignorance”

“But the Romans won’t let us sacrifice anything”
“Sometimes” said Akiva wryly, “they sacrifice us
But in the synagogue we will have a little light
Light and Torah and learning, always learning”

“We want to learn.”

“Oh? And what do you want to learn?” he asked of us

“We want to learn.”

He smiled and sat us at a table under his vines
“I learned to read when I was forty,” he said
As he took out a tablet and a stylus
One of us said, “I can’t imagine being that old!”

Our teacher smiled, smoothed the day from the wax
And instructed us to attend to the Word
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”
That is what he said, not what he wrote in the wax

Akiva prayed, he prayed for us, and wrote
And in the wax the letters formed as fire
As gold and fire:

                                    “Bereshit Bara Elohim…”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                       The Crown of Rachel


                        From an idea inspired by Nat Lipstadt
                           while we discussing something else


A dream about our teacher Akiva of Yavna
When the Romans took a respite from murdering us:
In our youth we approached a little house
Though we were tired from following the goats all day

Akiva was tired from tending his beans
And from Jacob-wrestling with great ideas
But he smiled and asked what he could do
Do for us little children bubbling with questions

“I am inventing the synagogue,” he might have said
“What is a synagogue? A new kind of Temple?”
“It is a machine for learning, a temple of the mind
A school, an altar upon we sacrifice our ignorance”

“But the Romans won’t let us sacrifice anything”
“Sometimes” said Akiva wryly, “they sacrifice us
But in the synagogue we will have a little light
Light and Torah and learning, always learning”

“We want to learn.”

“Oh? And what do you want to learn?” he asked of us

“We want to learn.”

He smiled and sat us at a table under his vines
“I learned to read when I was forty,” he said
As he took out a tablet and a stylus
One of us said, “I can’t imagine being that old!”

Our teacher smiled, smoothed the day from the wax
And instructed us to attend to the Word
“The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom”
That is what he said, not what he wrote in the wax

Akiva prayed, he prayed for us, and wrote,
And in the wax the letters formed as fire
As gold and fire:

                                         “Bereshit Bara Elohim…”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                       Death Falls Apart in White

Snow does not fall in July, and yet there is white
White falling like snowflakes or flower petals
White scatterings across the summer lawn
Ghostly among the leafy sheltering oaks

The hawks are back

An egret about her business of bugs and snakes
Sudden violence high up in the gentle air
Flesh and life claw-ripped, torn, and devoured
Unheard below, only feathers falling as death

The hawks are back

This artificial paradise of feeders and seeders
And flower-bordered lawn is a scape of death
From which the gentle rabbits, birds, and squirrels
Withdraw in silent fear

The hawks are back

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   The Last Nights of Club Ozymandias in San Diego


                            Shelley always makes one think
             (often about how to pronounce his middle name)


I met a tout along a darkening street
Who said – “two trunkless legs of neon dance
There, upon that wall, on neon feet
An electromechanical contrivance to prance

In remnants, but wiggling hips and pouty lips
Tell that the artisan well caught the lust
Of lonely sailors as a pretty girl strips -
In time those young men and the dancer will be dust

These letters appear, written in cold fire:
I am the Queen of Club Ozymandias
Look upon me with your hot desire
Look upon me, and imagine us…

Tomorrow all will be leveled

A housing estate will arise, a planner’s scar
Nothing will remain of laughter and drinks
Of sailors flinging their pay upon the bar
For a dancing girl now silent as the Sphinx”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                               I Have the Epstein Files

I carry the Epstein files in my pocket
A paperback edition from City Lights
You said you were going to hitchhike to Big Sur
With a dude named Gautama. I have the files

I thought you’d like to know

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Highway Patrol
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                             Highway Patrol

An episode of Highway Patrol appears -
(With Broderick Crawford it should be widescreen)
Iron-jawed Bill Boyette as his sergeant
Today’s show features a passenger train

A man in a coat and tie, smoking a cigarette
Stops his DeSoto at a telephone booth
Wildly high fins (the DeSoto, not the telephone booth)
Inserts a dime and, turning a dial, he places a call

And Grandpa takes some time to explain
          All of this to his grandchild
The telephone, the tie, the passenger train

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

Highway Patrol

An episode of Highway Patrol appears -
(With Broderick Crawford it should be widescreen)
Iron-jawed Bill Boyette as his sergeant
Today’s show features a passenger train

A man in a coat and tie, smoking a cigarette
Stops his DeSoto at a telephone booth
Wildly high fins (the DeSoto, not the telephone booth)
Inserts a dime and, turning a dial, he places a call

And Grandpa takes some time to explain
          All of this to his grandchild
The telephone, the tie, the passenger train

(I was not able to format the alternating lines.)


Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                               Allegro – The Girl at the Piano


                                              Cf. Antoni Ditlef


An inexpensive lithograph from long ago

                    (Can you tell me what it’s worth?)

A beautiful girl in a red evening gown

             (But what’s it worth?)

In a picture of aspiration, of hope

             (Yeah, but is there any money in it?)

That our daughters will live accomplished lives

                     (I seen one on the internet for a thousand dollars)

And not as tatted Shelobs schlubbing on a couch

             (I need the money for a motorcycle)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                          Hallowed be Thy App

               “…that unmistakable English church-going pace…
               holding, bound in black lamb-skin and white celluloid,
               the liturgies of a half dozen conflicting sects…”

                                -Waugh, Brideshead Revisited

One sees a Bible only occasionally
Even more rarely a Sunday missal
Which, with coat and tie and the mantilla
Are relics of a courtlier, more dignified time

The faithful now carry the scriptures as apps
The rosary the same (maybe next to Candy Crush)
An electronic conscience funded by an investment firm
And available at a low introductory price

A talking box - it must be Godly and true
And just as eternal as the Apple II

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

          The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

        The New Pastor Threatens the Congregation with Guitars

Our new pastor has visions, dreams beyond the stars
At Mass last week he informally presented
This suggestion: a choir. And guitars
But peace will still obtain, tho’ that twanging jars -
Guitars in church are why ear plugs were invented

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                        Icetrooper

Dear Icetrooper,

When you go home at night (perhaps to pray)

Does your daughter look up to you and say,

“Daddy -

How many crying children did you drag away

Away from their handcuffed moms and dads today?”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             The Toenail Clippers of Damocles

He who would sit upon a throne of power
Reigning his people from the sovereign’s seat
Let him not neglect in a careless hour
To practice good hygiene upon his royal feet

For suspended above him by a horse’s hair
CLIPPERS, which through and under his toenails pass
Thus beneath that weapon hov’ring in the air
He is cautioned not to be a horse’s (posterior)

And so reposing upon his royal couch
Let not the king be heard to whimper “OUCH!”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                        Laundry Day - The Solemnity of All Stains

The washing machine baptizes our busy days:
A shirt freshly stained with this morning’s coffee
Wrinkledy tees in grimy greens and greys
A child’s blue jeans all sticky with toffee

Dish towels we allowed to get old-food smelly
A nice dress sock on which the puppy peed
Blankies from the couch in front of the telly
The terry-cloth that toweled the shaving bleed

To the laundry room where all these wreckages convene
There to be made all fresh and bright and clean –
Thus
Let us give thanks for the washing machine!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                         A Gold-Tone Case for Business Cards

A gold-tone case for business cards that read
“(Something) Enterprises Unlimited”
An address that included the word “Suite”
Which was only a bedroom with a folding table

A telephone number that no longer exists
Which never rang a number that no one ever called
And a dead-end @aol.com
For a business that was only a dream

Buried in a suit from the 1980s
The Men’s Store at Sears – The Classic Collection

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


                    Will CBS Now Broadcast from Fox Studios?


          Every morning the editors of the Berlin daily newspapers and    
          the correspondents of those published elsewhere in the *****
          gathered at the Propaganda Ministry to be told by Dr.
         Goebbels or by one of his aides what news to print…

            -Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third *****, p. 245


CBS is now as obedient as Fox
Who would have imagined? Who woulda thunk?
Government agitprop on every Orwellian box -
Shoveling deep rund into our funk

Praise to Stephania Jiminez of KSAT in San Antonio; I said it first but she says it much, much better:

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/ksat-anchor-goes-viral-for-speaking-the-truth-about-texas-leaders­/ar-AA1Ibdj3


Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office
5 July 2025

                     Texas Children Die; Texas Politicians Babble


                           The Governor’s Press Conference
            In Which the Press Were Shut Down Pretty Quickly
                              Guest Star: Ice Station Barbie


I just can’t say enough about our colleagues I just can’t say enough about we are Texans and we come together as one as a family we come together community share quintessential Texas I want to thank my we unite they could have fallen apart double-down relentless when the job is completed 24/ 7 day and night Texans and Americans everyone and I want to thank my what I’m going to sign today every asset magnitude process proclamation immediate and I just can’t say enough about ongoing gratitude in advance to President Trump and all his administration and I just can’t say enough his love for Texas I want to thank Governor Abbott absolutely devastating he loves Texas grieving beautiful children all the resources of the federal government walking alongside each other community I’ve visited with the president already he will honor that assets on the ground crisis weather event alerted airframe Coasties Texas assets request customs and border protection skill set resource Department of Homeland Security response flying acronyms entities utilized FEMA standing at an enhanced level plugged in engaged fulfil role amazing you are an example to the nation hearts are with you and walking beside you fixed-wing aircraft airframe helicopters fixed-wing helicopters efforts engaged talking to the president throughout the day families folks number one priority is people process public infrastructure strong you are an example responding helping neighbors hurting grieving God process help prayers are with you President Trump and Melania are praying for you prayer amazing multiple stage agencies partners my thanks to and to and request and thank you for being here an important message I’ve been to a number of disasters impressed with Governor Abbot’s leadership proud grateful for men and women standing behind us here we are all reacquainted rejoined with their family members it’s who your family is we come together as a family as Texas this is who our family is we owe it to them the governor and his team will be relentless family it means a lot we appreciate President Trump and you before I was crazy enough to run for congress ha ha we came down here to blah blah it hits home personally I can’t say enough about extraordinary I can’t say enough I can’t say enough leadership this unfortunate circumstance reached out responding Army corps support and other stuff teamwork collaboration far from finished the job prayerful stuff we’re dealing with finger-pointing and second-guessing and Monday-morning quarterbacking circumstances I understand that parents and media heroic efforts finish the job be with the people pray I’m the only one at this table who lives on the Guadalupe River I barely got home I ushered in a crew fifty-year lawyer I saw first-hand the body bags helicopter ride nobody saw this coming arm in arm hand in hand process time now for recovery toilsome task we we we I I I me me me stay together and we’ll get this done thank you on the behalf of as I look around the room I don’t see differences I see one team working together our community one team those in peril those who are lost sees this day prayer thank God my heart is broken we will not stop Madame Secretary your federal team lifesaving we will our teams FEMA border patrol partners Coast Guard work forward state personnel one last thing most common word prayer prayers are answered in so many ways prayer might be the reason the water stopped rising prayer does work your prayers have made a difference continued prayers pray so much never imagined prayers matter we thank God almighty God has blessed Texas prayer…

(A few reporters were then allowed to ask a few questions which were answered mostly with vagaries and filler-language.)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                      My Daughter at The Last Supper

And whilst they were at supper, Jesus took bread, and blessed, and broke: and gave to his disciples, and said: Take ye, and eat. This is my body…”

          -Saint Matthew 26:26-29, Douay-Rheims 1899 American
           Edition via Bible Gateway

And my daughter said unto our Lord,
“Excuse me…excuse me, Sir, but is this matzoh fresh?
Did you check the expiration date?
Is it really kosher?  Is it from a fair-trade source?”

Amen or oymen?

Judas has left the building.

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                         She Walks Between Worlds

                                             Stage 2 Alzheimer’s

She walked into our house for lunch today
The puppy gamboled at her feet in welcome
And was treated to doggie-kisses and doggie-hugs
She loves the dog
                                    She is no longer sure about us

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                             But, Hey, No King

The most lawless ruler is a Man of the People
Posturing upon some whited balcony
His pouting lips frozen in a perpetual sneer
While his toadies cheer their *******, and call it freedom

The semi-automatic rifle is their Bible
Barbed wire is their semi-automatic law
The Constitution is but the president’s whims
          (Let us now pray
          for his bowel movements today)

Congress and the Supreme Court with feet of clay
Await in fear, in disgrace, in moral decay
For a Murat to come and brush them away:

                                  “Citizens, you are dismissed.”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

       I Have Always Flown our Flag Proudly on Independence Day

Our flag must be protected from the dews and damps
And flown most proudly over our concentration camps

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                    ****** Sunbathing in the Garden of Literature

In the end everyone having been abusive
And babbling endlessly about it all
Dies

Lawrence Hall 2d
A Shepherd's Path from La Salette
Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


                 A Shepherd’s Path from the Mountain of La Salette

            For a good and kindly priest who is being transferred
                              after forty years of faithful service


                   The old order changeth, yielding place to new

                                -Tennyson, Idylls of the King


We don’t know if the cart drivers have stopped swearing
Or if the potato crops are doing well this year
Or if the rocks have indeed become wheat
Or if everyone prays an Ave each day

We don’t know if the Field of Coin still flourishes
Or if the people of Corps faithfully attend Mass
Or if barefoot boys and girls still herd sheep
Or if they listen, as did Melanie and Maximin

But we do know that Our Lady of La Salette
To care for us through our pilgrimage in time
In a land far from that holy mountain
Has blessed us with Her most faithful missionary

Through the ordinal cycles of seasons and feasts
He served the Table in the Name of the Lord
He baptized us, taught us, confirmed us, confessed us
Married us, anointed us, and buried our dead

Through blessed years and tears and nights and days –
But now to the Will of God
We surrender him with thanks and prayers and praise


                         And God fulfils Himself in many ways

                                                   -Tennyson

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                              Contents of the Live Man’s Pockets

       Cf. “Contents of the Dead Man’s Pockets,” Jack Finney, 1956

A little book of poetry for waiting rooms
A MePhone because everybody carries one
A little Rosary that never leaves its vinyl case
For prayers that never leave the bearer’s lips

A pocket notebook and a gel-point pen
For those great ideas that will change the world
A pocket knife, without which a man is not dressed
A ring of keys for locking people out
            Or in?

And next to my poor heart a pocket square -
Though once upon a time I carried your picture there

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

           Beached Beauties, Summer Tomatoes, and Midday Cicadas


                                   Where are the songs of Spring?

                                                        ­-Keats


The tomatoes are split and discolored in the heat
Like bathing beauties who have beached too long
And, gathering up the past, totter home at dusk
Surprised to be all burnt and wrinkled with age

The sun of April who was a ***** lover
Caressing and warming their soft young skin
Is now a middle-aged man baring his chest
And seeking love in other vegetable beds

The cicadas of noon mourn in the withering heat
In remembrance of spring, youthful and sweet

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office


                 A Shepherd’s Path from the Mountain of La Salette

            For a good and kindly priest who is being transferred
                              after forty years of faithful service


                   The old order changeth, yielding place to new

                                -Tennyson, Idylls of the King


We don’t know if the cart drivers have stopped swearing
Or if the potato crops are doing well this year
Or if the rocks have indeed become wheat
Or if everyone prays an Ave each day

We don’t know if the Field of Coin still flourishes
Or if the people of Corps faithfully attend Mass
Or if barefoot boys and girls still herd sheep
Or if they listen, as did Melanie and Maximin

But we do know that Our Lady of La Salette
To care for us through our pilgrimage in time
In a land far from that holy mountain
Has blessed us with Her most faithful missionary

Through the ordinal cycles of seasons and feasts
He served the Table in the Name of the Lord
He baptized us, taught us, confirmed us, confessed us
Married us, anointed us, and buried our dead

Through blessed years and tears and nights and days –
But now to the Will of God
We surrender him with thanks and prayers and praise


                         And God fulfils Himself in many ways

                                                   -Tennyson

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                Surgery in Three Parts


                                                 1 - Fear for Tomorrow

I don’t know what will happen to her tomorrow -
The anaesthesia and the surgical trauma
Invading all those organs compromised
Compromised by age and failing health

There’s a contract coffee bar in the lobby main
One could savour a coffee and a croissant
While waiting for a messenger of life or death
Does anyone know where the chapel is?

A marriage should not end in ICU
In the echoing chants of “Code Blue…Code Blue…”

                                          2 - Fear for Today

Morning is filled with possibilities
But today…
Morning is fraught with possibilities

                                           3 – Deo Gratias

The surgeon and the RN visit me
In a cold-as-a-morgue fluorescent-lit room
With their masks loose about their necks
To report that all went well

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             This is my Stacking Swivel


                  We were speaking of historic stacking swivels,
                  and Shelley thought there might be poem in it


This is my stacking swivel. There are many like it
But this one is mine; that recruit training moment
When I was issued my G.I. stacking swivel
I felt like Sergeant Rock, over the top

My stacking swivel makes me feel like a man
This American stacking swivel of instant death
A chilled-steel weapon of liberating power
Striking fear into the enemies of freedom

Look upon my stacking swivel, ye mighty!
And despair!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                               The I.T. Department Goes Wild

We are subject to the whims of every I.T. blighter
But never have we heard
That Hemingway was locked out of his own typewriter

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                             To the I.C.E. Gangs


          In the dock…slumped in their seats fidgeting nervously…
          They seemed to be a drab assortment of mediocrities. It
           seemed difficult to grasp that such men…had wielded such
           monstrous power…

   -William L. Shirer, The Rise and Fall of the Third *****, p. 1142


When this is over, we will not come for you -
But good and faithful servants of our laws
With warrants, in uniform, in marked cars
Not hiding behind masks –
                                                      they will come for you

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                       The Imperial WE Decreed a Cease-Fire


          "We are great. We are free. We are wonderful. We are the most
          wonderful people…!  We all say so, and so it must be true."

                        -The Bandar-Log in The Jungle Book


The press, the congress, the people - they all must cower
A cringing staff to serve as disposable tools
All the appearances and appliances of power
In the hands of vain, acrimonious fools

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                    I Gave my Friend a Poem for Her Birthday

I gave my friend a poem for her birthday
“It’s not as much fun as an electric train,” she said,
“But it’s pretty good.”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                               Bombs – All Sizes

                                    -As Jack Kerouac did not say


          If we are all going to be destroyed…let that bomb when it
          comes find us doing sensible and human things praying,
          working, teaching, reading, listening to music, bathing the
          children, playing tennis, chatting to our friends over a pint
          and a game of darts—not huddled together like frightened
          sheep and thinking about bombs. They may break our bodies
          (a microbe can do that) but they need not dominate our
          minds.

                        -C.S. Lewis, “On Living in an Atomic Age,” 1948


Bombs fall tonight, but then they fall every night
Conceived over single-malt, born of the generals
Suffering not at all as their electronics systems
Guide them in the ways the Bible salesman deems

Bombs fall tonight, on a nuclear facility, they say
We can only ask the ashes and winds
While in our triumphalist Ozymandian presumption
We fancy that bombs will never fall on us

Bombs fall tonight – and have we been doing
Sensible and human things?

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                     Parlements of Foules

The Parlement of Foules of whom old Chaucer wrote
Meet yearly on the Feast of Valentine
In Venus’ temple to negotiate
The noble rites of love and life and youth

The Parliament of Birds on my front lawn
In their several sub-species negotiate
Their seeds and crusts with outraged squawks and shrieks
But in the end manage to satisfy all

Good Parliaments of Birds are of order and rules
But humans elect poor Parliaments of Fools

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                      The President’s Complaint


            “Speak, vermin!...What is the meaning of all this waste,
             this gluttony, this self-indulgence?”

      -The White Witch in The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe


Juneteenth celebrates freedom from *******
But the president would have us all in Don-dage

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                 Reading the Room

I don’t know to read a room, but look –
I’m still pretty good at reading a book!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

              Our First-Person-Plural God-Emperor Bible Salesman
                                       Orders a War for Us


                   “Hell hath no fury like a non-combatant”

        -many attributions; dates to at least the American Civil War


The imperial We have / has spoken:
First His parade, and now our young people’s war
And what do His commands betoken?
Maybe for Him a shiny Silver Star

For sending our young to die in glorious battle
Across the screen and over the top
Waving His joystick like a baby’s rattle
With diet soda by way of an air drop

He’ll order our children to face the foe
But be assured – no Trump will ever go

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                  A Certain Church Lady

Even in her sneers and whisperings she is loud
Her catalogue of resentments, unremitting
Orbit her accusatory tongue like a poisonous cloud
This mad Medusa forever hissing and spitting

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

   About That Full All-Out Full-Blown Hot Cold Shadow War Zone

Can a war ever be empty?
Can a war ever be some-in?
Can a war ever be some-out?
Can a war ever be partially-blown?
Can a war ever be a lukewarm war?
Can a war ever be an unshadow war?
Can a zone ever be anything but a war zone?
Can “digital content producers” ever learn to write without employing pointless adjectives and adverbs?

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                      International Chopsticks

Forgive me for any insensitive remarks
But do piano students in China practice “Forks?”

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

     Our Capitol Police – Keeping America Safe from 87-Year-Olds

                       No Unmarked Cars for Senior Citizens

At least when our police ‘cuff an elderly man
They stuff him into a well-marked van


14 June 20245 - our Stasi handcuffed an 87-year-old veteran today:

https://x.com/CarolinaLumetta/status/1933669206114898254/video/3

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                                      If I Were Brave


                                                         ­          Now, soldiers, march away.
                                  And how Thou pleasest, God, dispose the day!

                                    -Henry V, Iv.iii.131-132


If I were brave (and I am not)
And if I were in the Capital (and I am not)
I hope God would steel my heart (Henry V, IV.1.307)
To ask the soldiers to stop (I would probably look very silly)

I would not be the first to step in front of them
But if someone else were to lead
I would follow second
Wearing my old boonie hat

And speak to them of a bad man:

                                  “Now does he feel his title
          Hang loose about him, like a giant’s robe
          Upon a dwarfish thief.”

                                     -Macbeth, V.ii.20-22

And ask them to march away. Please.

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                             Ancient Pistol Takes the Salute

Tanks grinding the streets all mucky and muddy
Sturdy old Hueys and Cobras flying high
And our leader’s Viet-Nam Army buddies
Saluting him proudly while marching by

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                        What Could be More American than
                    Masked Secret Police in Unmarked Cars?

Perhaps the suggestion has already been made:
ICE’s Black Marias could lead the parade

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

             Will He Borrow Augusto Pinochet’s Old Uniform?

While reviewing his troops from his high platform
          Hup! Toop! Threep! Fourp!
Will Our Leader stand tall in uniform
          Right shoulder HARMS!
Glittery with medals and a shiny firearm
          Boom-tiddy! Boom-tiddy! Boom-Boom-Boom!
Swelling with pride in his goosestepping swarm
          Ta-ra-ra-BOOM-dee-ay!

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                           Let Us Celebrate No Tyrants Day


                           “We have no king but Caesar!”

               -A long-ago mob as written in St. John 19:15


Even the King of Kings is under the Law
And too, since Magna Carta, our earthly King -
From the people and their voices he can only draw
Such powers as their assemblies vote to bring

But may God protect us from a Common Man
Slithering to supremacy through serpentine speech
Emboldened by the power of cabal, club, and clan
Mobs chanting for their master, a soul-******* leech

God gives us His grace in a King and Queen
Republics give us the guillotine

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                   A Middle-Aged Sack Boy Yelling into Space
                      While Carelessly Loading the Groceries

“MAN, THIS WEEKEND I’M GONNA:

“CENTRAL PROCESSING UNIT! TLB AMPLITUDE MULTI-MEDIA CONTENT! STREAM VAC STREAM PROFILE VISUAL DISPLAY UNIT SONIC VIBRATIONS IoT KERNEL ZETTABYTE! YOWEE! T-POS VM VE VPN HE DON’T KNOW RAM FROM ROM HA! HA! OS GL LOAD BALANCE LOGIC CATE BIT RATE ALAC ADC AIN’T GOT NO CHI FI IN MY SYSTEMS, DUDE! NT DAC MMORP G FLAC WAV MQA OGG MP3 AAC MQA PHASEY-DAISY DRIVIN’ ME CRAZY! PCM SHE BRAIN-TICKLES ME! OPEN BETA GAIN DRIVER SO SHE’S GOT THIS KID BY HER FIRST MARRIAGE TERMSYNC LOGIN BUT I’M DOWN WITH THAT SHE WRITES MY GRAPHICS CARD IF Y’ KNOW WHAT I MEAN HEH! HEH! AFB METAGAME CHEESE KONAMI CODE LEVEL! GAME MECHANIC BUFFED NERFED LFG LFM GAMERTAG!!!! XBOX CYBERFI SMOKE ME SOME PANAMA RED ELECTRON KOMMANDO! NEUTRON NUGGET PROTON PROTEAN A PRIEST A RABBI AND A WITCH-GODDESS TRANSPORT INTO A NEUTRON BAR SLIDERULERS OF THE UNIVERSE DON’T BOGART THAT BIOME AND THEN I GOT ME A WEEK’S VACATION COMING…!”

(Don’t forget the dog food)

Lawrence Hall
Mhall46184@aol.com
Dispatches for the Colonial Office

                                         Pushing the Envelope

What envelope is being pushed?
From whom to whom – across the room?
And why should it be pushed at all?
Is the envelope an English A-1?
An American business-size?
A birthday check for someone to steal?
Pushing a broom, pushing a sale
Pushing a pen – some sense in those
But what is the purpose in pushing
An envelope?
                               And did you stamp it?