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 Jun 2013 Lauren
Mia Eugenia
I'm done comparing myself to love struck girls
who just dream about you
when in actuality
sleep is the only place I escape
from the tyranny of your voice.
I have never dreamed about you
and I hope I never will
because you've invaded every aspect of my life
I need one place of my own.
If it's not my own mind
it will be a padded white room somewhere
with nice people and cups of pills
that will only remind me of you.
I will sit in solitude because I am
"a threat to others and myself".
and the only way they will find to keep me sane
is to drive you from my mind.
But that would drive me to insanity
so I guess there's just no hope for me.
 Jun 2013 Lauren
Mia
It felt like goodbye when you held me,
Loosely like you didn't crave my warmth.
Your breath was relaxed and you went to sleep as we lay in each other's arms.
You couldn't meet my eye and I knew it was over.
I chocked back my tears hoping you wouldn't feel the sobs racking my body.
You went to sleep so am guessing you missed it.
It felt like goodbye when you watched me leave.
You made no move to hug me or ask me to stay.
The mild confusion in your eyes comforted me into thinking maybe I was wrong.
You didn't say a word though,
I heard goodbye in the silence of the air.
You didn't call and I felt you let go,
In the anticipation of a call that never came,
The sorrow of an expectant heart beating on even after its broken.
I cried and you didn't hear the screams of my shredded sanity.
I felt your goodbye in the love that smothered my hope,
When you didn't say anything.
 Jun 2013 Lauren
bambi
humans
 Jun 2013 Lauren
bambi
I.
safe respite from a scary movie
i woke with bags under my eyes
heartbeats under dryer sheets

II.
you could carry me quite far
i loved for you to grasp my hands
they smelled of sweat and cinnamon

III.
first cigarette sixth kiss
you wrote me notes, i burnt them all
of you i do not speak

IV.
you whispered as i wore
your granite jacket; i have yet to tell you that
it's been my favorite color since

V.
you were damp new leaves
weathering fall's best storm
and i destroyed you just as completely

VI.
wet rain long fingers
i rest and watch you speak
i believe
you may be
the final sequence
A poem for the humans I've fallen in love with.
 Jun 2013 Lauren
Sarina
How can young bones have old blues
when they do not keep strands of their dead wife’s hair
in a kitchen cabinet, too lone to rot or grey.

The sun moves not at inches, but in miles when it sets
and that is how I feel every time I am left.

My fingers creak when he touches me.

He trusts my heart enough to sleep on my chest
breathes onto the origin of my breath –
I do not dare move a centimeter, forgo our bodies’ sync.
I do not trust that any minute stays existent.

I met him with old scars
have been given young ones on the heel of love.

Mostly, the blemishes appear like a blush
which is only just blood settling in and surfacing by a
titanic of skin.

I think of a young person twirling their hair
around everything, pencils and fabric and water bottles
that both new and old lovers will
touch and believe they got the closest to her scalp.

My insides are silver, his are as
gold as the trail the sun leaves to remember dawn.

The only silly part is his asking for more air, I want to
say that he is alive and because he is alive
he has plenty of air
(but I would gladly offer the remnants of mine).
 Jun 2013 Lauren
dr Jade
My car is parked, my bags are packed
Yet my heart chooses to look back
Facing the shadows of the past,
The ghost of a man,
And a love I shouldn't carry anymore

Should have seen it coming
But you kept me guessing
Until your lies became my truth
Still my heart burns for someone,
Apparently the wrong one

I told myself to let the story end
That my heart would someday belong to someone better
But when you said "Darling..."
It's a vicious little word that slays me
Keeping me from walking away

I came undone
It hurt me more to leave you
When all I wanted was to love you
Perhaps one day, I will be okay
Have the strength to finally end this

...just not today.
Insanity and Genius
look the same
to the mundane Brain;

Perhaps they overlap
but if so,
it's a venn diagram.
 May 2013 Lauren
Esmé van Aerden
Sometimes you meet someone
who just seems to click.

I met that boy,
at a concert of all places.
He made me feel beautiful
and full of vibrant life.

Today we met up for coffee,
and he told me we weren't "working."
My vibrancies have vanished,
the butterflies
I wish we could have shared
through intimate exchanges
have escaped,
unplanned.

*I am numb
Dumb writing I'm sorry. Reflects my mood I guess.
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