I’m terrified
Of loving more;
So I never
Take the tag
Off my relationships
In case
I have to return them.
As if love was a possession.

If you can love this mess
This hot, sticky mess
That listens to Noah Kahan
And still cries
Even though I’ve heard these words
Over
And
Over,
Tell me yours
Once again
So I can fall in love with you-
If you can
Fall in love with this mess

I feel
A tender sorrow
For my younger self.
I wish I could tell her
That this heartbreak
Is not a mistake
And that there will
Come a day when
She will feel lighter.  

I wish I could hold her
In my arms
That are strengthened
By hindsight;
And rock her to sleep
Like my mother
Should have done.

I'd like to
Write a poem about you;

It's the first I've written in months-

But I don't know where to start;

Perhaps I'll start
With how I melted
When I lay on your chest
And listened to your soul-

Perhaps I'll  start
With how you remind me
Of a love I once lost.

How do I explain
That you used to
Make me feel
Like my inner child
Was being held?

How do I explain
This emptiness
Now that you’re gone?

Heartbreak feels
Like treading barefoot
On hot coal;
As it burns,
I can’t help but remember
This pain
Felt with lovers before.

And I am left wondering;
How many times
Can a heart be split
In two?

I want to say
I love you
I want to say
I hate you;
I want to say
I’m sorry
I want you
To apologise;
I want to explain
And I want
To remain silent;
I want to regret
And I want to
Believe
it all happens
For a reason;
I want to
Go back in time
And I look forward
To better days;
I want
A lot
And that’s
Okay.