she went all out -
into her private parts
being public
and standing unashamed
in a nation of shamers

i used to find it mindlessly silly
to think that such a thing
defines you much
in a dubious society
all about the body image

used to think that was all a joke
until i saw an old man shove
a mother and a crying baby
breastfeeding out in the wilderness
being a loser’s how you win these days
and in the end we all lose

that guy’s got a different ride
all the time
says he’s an heir to an oil
magnate yo
bet his ex girlfriend’s kicking
herself ‘cuz
the checks larger than three
or five year’s
worth of salaries, crazy crazy
baby got
regrets but she says she’s not a
gold digger

on the state border in your wagon
thinking too much about
the future even though we’re just pretend
and this is the last time i’ll see you

illuminating my inability
to tell my own character
and trying to empathize with
your own despite us

being just pretend and our organs
are more than cotton, fabricated
hearts and both using each other
even though we’re unimportant and fake

never understood some phrases, like,

“If you can’t accept me at my worst
then you can’t have me at my best.”

or maybe

“I’m just out here trying to find myself
through other people.”

in the wild grass of summertime
madness I found me through me
and settling at my worst
is what takes the human out of me

scoopity poopity ****
poopity scoopity scoop
ignorance
bliss
dialect
intellect
scoopity?

Ooo! Wee!

Ya got it on my armpit and hair
from my belly, I think you sings it from an egg
the push and pull, the truth and dare
rain-bead pearled in cloudlight bed
was it something I said? Or touched?

All my ex liked to talk about is ***
and wild intricacies like wow, buddy
I'm right here kinda spunky and funny
but his receptacle and receptacle-ees
aren't that interesting to me

our quiet rooms
compartmentalized
like louis vuitton
to basic calvin kliens
secretly living the best
of our lives
under the stars
and each other’s tired eyes

ya throw fits at the mall
speak in a child's voice
i hear delicacy in your dialect
but it's optimism, imagination
on my part, trepidation and mistaken
throw tantrums, spilled coffee
deforestation in my thought's trees
jhjkhjkh love, drained in sinks
listening to that song
ya don't dig a whole lot
about him, you don't have a shovel
but you drive your
pink nails in the sheets
it's probably why i can't escape you

today is a good day
here's to hoping i don't mess it up
two years from now
this poem is really random
toaster

scoopity poopity ****
poopity scoopity scoop
bliss
dialect
intellect
scoopity?

slate sleepy streets wet
you make like a wizard
funny feelings from your fairy dust

is the wild prospect of
misinterpretations making you hard
for me like your fear of my flirt

gets me turned on?
these warm shadows sail
dumb conversations at a coffee shop
the core of you is warm and i am cold

Love's ideas, two becoming one
two halves of a whole
what if one's not in it all the way
not like the love of olden days but transient

latched on like a love dart
an antibody flooding in an antigen
placing its little locks with its little keys
closer than two genders - a swell

August 2017 brings the apartment together
but hubris and October 2018 tears it down
if there's one hole in the puzzle
it will tear us down with its incompleteness

don't love me like a girl; don't call me one
when that ghost sits at our banquet
rips the swell apart leaving
nothing but blood and dregs of love's dark wine

all over the floor

ya throw fits at the mall
speak in an innocent voice
i hear delicacy in your dialect
but it's optimism, imagination
on my part, trepidation and mistaken
throw tantrums, spilled coffee
deforestation in my thought's trees
skinny love, drained in sinks
listening to that song
ya don't dig a whole lot
about him, you don't have a shovel
but you drive your
pink nails in the sheets
it's probably why i can't escape you

when there's dark

owoo! girl touch me, pop me
some more of that bubbly
don’t you need me, want me
some more of that body

that song’s gotten pretty stuck
in my head and with pen and paper
i get a little obnoxious but don’t
you love it when i do?

^^

I like the attention you give me
even when I don’t deserve it
because you are my master
and I write all these words to annoy you
for you to scold and give me
what I want

ya throw fits at the mall
speak in a child's voice
i hear delicacy in your dialect
but it's optimism, imagination
on my part, trepidation and mistaken
throw tantrums, spilled coffee
deforestation in my thought's trees
skinny love, blood in sinks
listening to that song
ya don't dig a whole lot
about him, you don't have a shovel
but you drive your
pink nails in the sheets
it's probably why i can't escape you

Sad night tonight, stay up late
on the weekends to make them last

lol

she sends me messages that's she's leaving
a trans gal from West Virginia
trying to sound portentous, all this drama
filling my lungs i can't breathe in
she filled my heart and body
the hope trickling out of me
but met with indelible silence

and there's no better her out there
that's like her, you know it's not really that dramatic
nothing chromatic about a hook-up
lightless, lacking the sun's largess blasting
through the seams or in between the hedges
just wish i could have been with her
a couple more nights before she drove away

She's a little light in the world
likes to dance to make ends meet
and likes her cat and me and dollars
I like to cover as much light as I can
but she always shines through

broke out the winters box
of warm clothing
got a heated blanket
cuddles on the couch
with nothing underneath
sowhatsowhat
the birds sing and your warmth
could split a heart of granite

daytime

let me tell you what i love about you
love to think of all the possibilities
my knife could so brazenly roam across
the surface of skin so glossy my own
gets tingles just thinking about it

let me tell you what i love about you
we love to make fun of the oceans, and how
boring life is without our own viciousness
our very blood is hedonistic, is it not?
swim away, edge closer to me while i edge closer to you

your words make me cold
and it's because i'm writing about you
that things seem so deep

can maybe we can restart
but i'm loving the new scars
you left on the outside of my skin
fit like a glove on my hand

and deep inside i want to get a tattoo
with a phrase or two that you've said
to maybe make myself sober

ya throw fits at the mall
speak in a child's voice
i hear delicacy in your dialect
but it's optimism, imagination
on my part, trepidation and mistaken
throw tantrums, spilled coffee
deforestation in my thought's trees
skinny love, drained in sinks
listening to that song
ya don't dig a whole lot
about him, you don't have a shovel
but you drive your
pink nails in the sheets
it's probably why i can't escape you

ya throw fits at the mall
speak ***** in a child's voice
i hear delicacy in your dialect
but it's optimism, imagination
on my part, trepidation and mistaken identity
tantrums later, spilled coffee
deforestation in my thought's trees
skinny love, blood in sinks
listening to that song
ya don't dig a whole lot
about him, you don't have a shovel
but you drive your
pink nails in the sheets
it's probably why i can't escape you

she's made of gold but she wants green
voice sounds like she's been choking
on someone else's fumes

she tweets but she doesn't even text
her husband about half those things
everyone knows she does out on the streets

blue diamond eyes
hand reaching back at me
out in the feels-tingle-fields

country music isn't like country
these days
murica isn't quite the same as she was either

me with your
thick and hard
words

in love with danileigh’s music

the more she says daddy
the more milk she gets
puts a show on for her daddy yeah

takes shelter in a five million dollar home
licks her up in lapping waters
throws her in the tub fitting eight people

august burns away slowly
but these memories don't
and probably never will

and you said i wasn't good
enough for you
yeah right yeah right
you're probably right
i'm good for no one
between the heavy breaths
and the bellyaches from laughing too hard
when we were high
i'll be gone when the lease is up
and i'll hope you're feeling free
with a better guy

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lol a poem about a cat

Fridays, fridays, getting there
winds with their fulminations full forced
an array of a slow crawl and taunting sun
just want to go flex

glazing the mind, to downcast to longing
stepping over cracks on morning roads
past neighbor’s verandahs - filled with
sensory overloads

so i started another profile since this one is borked. like, can't put poems in the poem box. so, the new one is called laura 2. lol i'm original.

I'm probably done with this profile until someone fixes it. which they haven't responded to my inbox messages so i don't think they will. oh well, life moves on.

white girls stuck in perpetual road trips
to nowhere in particular
but they look cute though, always in a red jeep
with red cheeks and red lips

take the feelings away from me
put them all in a ***
stir them into a stew and eat them

where do you want to hang
have u tied the knot
on your favorite tree

hope ya chose right and tight
because there’s no one left
to see you burn

lalala cockpit's cracked
losing oxygen
I died in LA went straight to hell

put a price on my soul
for a bad man's consumption
trusted no one but it's cheap

gate's closed anyways
who am I to you baby?
don't care if this city sinks in the ocean

going back to Ohio anyways
maybe I'll use the pliers to escape the trunk
bite down, sizzle off the tar like a lost soul

don't want to give up

and just like that
wind blows and the sun’s out
the money’s gone
and the trap is on
phone’s a mirrored pond
an infinite void to jealousy
and just like that
it’s all gone, always gone

there's a lot more
to being dead i suppose
when there was going to be
two dents in the bed
but there's only me in it tonight
weight.

i do this thing where i stay quiet
for too long
sometimes i feel i ruin things
like a garden
i touch that starts to wither away
or an ornate jar
shatters to irreparable pieces
like a wound
that keeps reopening and all
the doors in my
life keep closing, so i leave my feelings
on the low key side of things

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