three chord-ed pop song
like still afloat
i'm high and i'm free
spending all of my money
on gucci and designer
look like i'm rich to feel better
millennial cry for help
american dreams are easier
to chase if i stay asleep

a pinprick, a spider crawling
down your spine raises the hairs
on your neck, itsy bitsy details
matter and questioning reality
as it stands when no one else is

oh ya mans, fight the power
the peace from within don’t come
from a god-lord-thing shoving us into
a box and no facebook can ever
hold me back

txt below

this time of year is haunted
by *****, and i love every newsfeed
with shiny pictures and i love dressing
up like myself

want to dance with you
and take a chance with you
melt my brain out and drink
then take tomorrow off

lol

got too many reals, i just want to feel
too many outfits for the places i go
gold like an arrow to praise the nights
coming through the green-yellow days
dauntless and swift

want to flex like a child—
here comes the trail
and the feels that feel real
sit out in a tank top
for the inner freedom til the sun
spears the ocean and the moon rises
this blasting heat is the way April
wants to leave us

fingerprints
claw marks
bear hugs
legs wrapped around me

same, dude.
tattoos down her spine
call her riley
but she's got prettier eyes

lol

laura

rofl the test worked

*****

so, hi
it’s been halloween for five nights
in a row and i haven’t
processed anything at all
the flash of life has been too fast
and i haven’t called you yet

together
me, me, me
and it’s all me
all the way to the end.

txt below

with eyes brighter than the sun
at things we thought were once childish
maybe we're too caught up
in things that don't really matter
I must have forgotten
these things happiness was the truth
we were searching for
tell me now, a spark was not enough
we have firewood, we have fuel
and yet no fire comes
life is kind of dumb right now
spending all my time online
maybe within I'm too guarded
to know the difference
between trust and vulnerability

on a clear day
idyllic scene
panoramic year

murmur in the juices
sinking teeth into fruit
luscious tableau

allow me to process
picnic with villas of brick
and concrete balusters in the view

i could suffocate
from the sweetness
the despair lifted in the wave

and im addicted lol

.

and I'll mess up my life
lie as a second smattering of truth
tell me what you got
before I put you in a plot
in my mind's grave

can't walk no more with conviction
for lost souls trying to make a connection
you know years ago I wouldn't hesitate
to cut someone's breaks and smash their plates
for you I would have put their face on a sleeve

and I'll mess up my life
but I don't need your help no more
up late but I got work at four in the morning
done mourning, ain't old love
I got other things to waste my time on

wish I could deliver my dreams
addiction relationships go recalcitrant
incinerate by the summer heat beams
any idea gone dormant, extinct ambition

wish I could survive by myself
tired of depending on expensive medicine
I can see the colors without no help
this pressure tosses me in a spoke of oblivion

|
|
V

.

if i had a second chance
i’d move more devoutly
there’s dead chickens in my
neighbor’s pen, this state wanted
more power to the trains that
own men, more fuels
to start our own hell
i chatter too much smack
no time to improve
brain’s on the loose
if i look away for a second
another recusant friend’s gone
everytime i think of that purity ring
i just crack up
why are there nothing but young women
and old men in this small church

tell me how to break an addiction
when nothing’s solid green
even though the land is flat
the water’s laced and they know i know
and i’ll do anything for more bands

skip past the easy part
isn't that what you wanted
spend hours in the car
instead of going inside

i remember my poetry
was laser focused
unhinged
perhaps it still is

maybe amicable as it is
the split turns to indifference
break plates like a child
counseling did not fail us

it made us realize things
are owed to ourselves
i think it's funny that this
is the hardest i've worked for us

.

You flake apart
Jump around in the boiling basket
but never out of it

why won't you
just let me live my life
an eternity in a swiveling ballet

cut up sniveling fish fillet
knife tip broke inside of it from the stress
the protoplasmic cowardice, the futile breeding quit

Would you like to wake up
to every battle I have in my **** head?
emotion submits to caviar delivery

tossed foam cups with the soda in it
belly up, split apart
the lives lit, baked-in honor

as if you earned it, like a lalala legendary
a souped down chopped up piece of aquatic livery
on a sanded down wooden board

.

settling into the lushness
of Summer, uneasily, unsteadily
aching to see if there’s a catch

my shaky shaky fingies
entwined and ensconced
dying to hollow out my phone

read my past DMs and died
of cringe, can’t reinvent the blank state
stir the treetops, the sunset an orange bier~

succumb, nights into deep bars
graveyard shift in broad daylight
wake up and it's 2am again

spending nights with me, please
the fun we can have, our bid to lurch
in each other's wild hearts

then watch the ceiling crumble
while you're crying on top of me
like a goddess of water with a small shrine

hey - why are there only two days a week
we can have white-washed conversations
in this small basement we pay rent in?

got a bad girl, some money and no patience
the princess descends upon the land
i had to throw on some sunglasses
rain's pouring coming up above the sidewalks
need to drain fluid from my jaws where the sewers at

can't even explain and be subtle about it
you accumulate spite
like dandruff on window sills
hair-scattered-brain, midnight's the new afternoon daylight kills
well i'm a killer, piling up marrow against
the red fences just to get over you

tattoos covered like im a grown up
stay in no motivation, suika game on the switch, i'm a player
blankets igdolidgaf, issue pronouns like some kind of prayer
foreign, i got no name but
quit

asking me what's up like you haven't ignored me forever?
that's deep lore, obscure facts
just know i've been writing an hour every day
send me a notepad and i'll write you a list
of all the sweet nothing bads you did to me

only energy i have is lying around
forgetting everything besides the color of your shirt
maybe i'll get a license in the States
but i'm 25 surviving without it
bass so loud hair sticks to the ceiling, water fairy
wants me bad, so i'm not really sorry for you

Heart rushing, feeling sugary
it's a little overwhelming
to feel this way

foolish, even, on my 24th birthday
to get this far on my two feet
without you

I'm the king of never failing
propitiating my god-class retorts
getting wet and splashing in the pool
massive belly rivaled by my ego
and my brain's tissues got more wrinkles
than the amount of digits on your hands

you were always supposed to be
more than a statistic
I've spent months tracking you down
like a psychostatic ecclesiastic
a loose cannon, squeaky detective
you were always an integer in my creases

spin into a headache
when I find myself evaded
in front of all my friendlies
save me from being so pathetic
when I send these text messages
feed all my energies to my enemies

I'm the king of never failing
loose buttons in my calculator
never stopped me from being the fool
I'm orange trying to rhyme hinges and glows
wishes, breaking tools on stone and crinkles
the paperless payments on agitated stands

and so the Brockhampton song plays
wound goes deep, stick a finger in it
scoop out blood to make room for you

it's filling the floorboards with red
drill a hole out with bullets to drain it
you know you should be my boy

and not go to school no more
sweat and indifference slickening
your delicate forehead, softly scratching scars

with my nails in each of your dimples
you know you should be my boy
oh yes you do, it's love, it's simple