i still try to remember
to take my boots off
at the door

my feet are wet
from walking in the rain

i leave laetoli footprints
on the pine floor
-like the first man

trying to walk upright
but can't seem to
get it straight

There's a lot of empty space
in a house
so full of quiet

wishing for thunder.

r ~ 9/5/14

Wide mouth mason jar
To capture the loneliness,
Her hands remain still.

On the river's this side
the boat waits for high tide.

*beckon me the far line trees
'neath looming clouds congealed mysteries
to sail yonder in long winds' way
where dipping sky touches bay!

But I don't have the wind's will
to cut the rope and sail upstream
having swallowed the bitter pill
of deep slumber in buried dream!

If I could say just one thing to you
[and believe me, I am]
I would tell you to stop looking "out there".
I would tell you that you have everything you need.
I would tell you that you are everything you need.
Nobody can add anything to that.
and be **** sure, nobody can take anything away.

But you must share yourself with those around you:
your body, your mind, your words, your heart.
They are not for the PICKING. They are not for the TAKING.
They are for the sharing.
They are for someone to enjoy with you.
But lovely lovely love stop looking, please!
Release the pressure, drop the anxiety, ignore the stress.
It does not serve you.
It is merely in your head,
not in your bones.
Not in your flesh.
There is no "doing" in worrying.
There is only worrying.
And beautiful, that's not you.

If I could tell you one thing it would be this:
There are no rules that you do not make for yourself.
There is no time that you must do anything,
only times when you can do something.
Just opportunities that cyclically arise and fall away before you.
Did you miss one? That's ok.
Will another one come? Of course it will.
Let things come of their own accord
and you will end up happier than you could have dreamed.

There's nothing on the other side of that door.
In fact, you've already been there. You're there right now.
There is no lock holding you back.
No lock keeping everything from you.
You've got a pocket full of keys, and no locks.

Oh, if you'd only let me tell you,
I'd tell you everything in the world is alive in you.

i am sitting here. blank face.
counting the ripples on the pool.

one.... two.... ok, enough.

the hairs on my arm?
too many.
too blonde.

practice minor pentatonic scales?
if only i knew what they were good for.
blues scales?
ok.
root, flat third, fourth, sharp fourth, flat seventh, eighth.
[**** i'll be proud if that's right.]

overthink everything.
write way too many poems,
save them all as drafts.
wonder if you'd even respond.
think of calling you.
decide not to.
"your unwanted calls"...
or something that you wrote forever ago,
keeps me away.
you keep me away.
[if only you handled this by saying
maybe in the long run we'll actually get to know each other...
this is for the best.
wouldn't that be grand?
wouldn't that be way better
than some short term relationship
that would just end in this hatred for me anyway?]

i pout,
look out the window,
notice the blue sky.
i wonder why you can't be happy.
i wonder why I can't be happy.