I LIKE TO SAY YOUR NAME

I like to say
your name

when you're
not here

turn you
into sound

conjure you out of
thin air

so that you appear
before me

dressed in sound
only

memory sketching in
the rest of you

as if sound
was just an outline

and love
colours you in

adding the voice last
so I can hear you say.

"Hello you..!"
and there you are

as present
as present

can be.

I like to say
your name

when you're
not there.

Deep in my haunted soul
To dark for you to go
You would only drown in my pain
And never understand, you’re so vain

Games lovers play
No rules, just day by day
Words lovers say
No truth, day by day
Lies lovers obey
Day by day

I’ve been in love with the ghost of you
I’ve loved you for so long, I forgot it was wrong
The memories linger, like your scent on my pillow,
A bitter sweet story, the only thing that was real

hollow words and hollow hearts, searching for the missing parts.

sometimes it's okay to wrap yourself
in the night sky and spin a web out of rain
you hold mystery in your palms
and i feel it's swallowed me whole
there will be times when it's hard
when heaviness overtakes your wet hair
and the sweaty nervousness doesn't stop
and dirt will get into your pores,
you will feel it down to your very core
and sometimes it's rocky
and there will be storms
but rain won't stop just because you're screaming
go outside and let it pour

*(a.m.c.)

October 3, 2013 at 1:22am

So maybe I still miss you,
but apathy is the way I want to feel towards you;
I want the ache in my chest to diminish,
to be completely extinguished in a quick fleeting moment.
But it’s more like erosion,
only washing away the most miniscule amount at a time.
Decreasing the pain in the tiniest of amounts,
taking decades and centuries of
wind,
light,
and rain
to morph it into what I desire it to be,
without any distinguished timeline.
Just natural causes that move uncontrollably along,
constantly irritating,
festering,
and ripping
the scab of the wound in awkward moments of solitude.
**I’m a slave to the tormenting low burning throb.