Please don't make me dream of you
As I wake up tired and still unmoved
Restless with a feeling of dread
And another stream of tears unproved

For dreamless I long to be again
Blind to everything that comes with sleep
The sweet in the bitter doesn't feel enough anymore
And illusions are not good company to keep

Rest assured I won't be reckless,
Rest assured perhaps I will...

The bottom of my dress
ballooning out,
like a doily on the dance floor.

Feeling like a princess
As I held Mommy’s hand.

Twirling me all around,
Like a ballerina let out of
Her jewelry box.

My greatest dance partner,
To the best drummer in the band.

The music was so loud that night
And it overwhelmed all of our senses
Minds unable to think
And hearts unable to feel
Anything but what the music was
Telling us to experience
Together

The pain in his voice
Calling us back to
His memories and life
Tales of heartbreak and horror
Triumph and love
We are no longer ourselves
And it is good

Escaping from our bodies
Entering another's reality
So much less painful
Than our own battles
It keeps us sane
Gives us strength
Allows us to carry on living, for another dawn

Celebrating father's day early
With Billy in his black lab tee
And Abby passing cards
Under the table to me
We close down the restaurant
The sky falls in sheets as we're leaving
And wet hair chases me
Into the wine shop down the street
Where I decide to be polite
Not just dry
And I buy a corkscrew
Now I can drink the wine
My ex boyfriend made me
Now I can get tipsy and
Finish the book my current man gave me
It took 8 years
2 deaths
And too many well-timed broken hearts
To bring us together
Collaterally
It's almost too much
And on my drive home
From dinner
A dive that's now our
Family favorite
With a menu I met
Chasing a boy before I came to my senses
And my stars aligned like white picket fences
To make May and my new man
Taste like heaven
A car swerves in front of me
The license plate reads
SRNDPD
The ***** cut me off again

aint no such thing as halfway crooks
aint no such thing as halfway intellectuals
aint no such thing as half read books
all i see are loud mouth crooks
that base everything off the way people look
spookin me out and trying to show off
when there isn't anything but smoke blowing
there's no such thing as the things you speak
the way you talk, your emotions bleed
you're weak
your words become more cheap
the longer you speak
i suggest you creep
and listen for a peep
no such thing as a smart person who doesn't listen
as we sit here and have this argument in the kitchen
and you keep dismissing
bait and hook like you're fishing
it's physics
you need to split
and fission
pay attention
and think before you speak
you're revealing your true intentions
non intelligently
understand that perspective
is not a collective
exchange thoughts and ideas
and you'll learn how to treat
another person
show respect
the next time we meet
by calling out
and taking names
showing face
talking about race
like you have it all understood
and the other opinion is no good
your mind is closed
as it should
you're from another planet
and our world's will collide
but let it ride
take a look
at someone else's life
you might be surprised
that it's the same on the inside

I was thirsty.
So I went and got some water.
My glass was full.
Translucent in my cup.

So I drank.
A cool feeling
in my throat.
Yet I did not feel
my thirst quenched.

I filled up my cup
to try and let my
thirsty feelings fly,
far from by being.

But no matter how much I drank,
the liquid of life could not
satisfy my being no matter
how much I consumed.

Huh...

I tried a different cup...
nothing.

I tried to add ice...
nothing.

I tried to add sweet flavor...
nothing.

How could these things not satisfy
my thirst?

My friend walked by.
Looked at me as
my tongue was sticking out.
He shook his head at me.

"Your thirst was quenched the first time," He said.
"You just thought you needed more."

****.

all the mothers
     strong enough
          to be a father too.

People come
To the city of love  
To fall in love
Fall in lust
Fall in liqour
Fall in junk
But me
I've come
To make peace
With the me
I've left back here
The me that fell
So many times
I cannot recall
But I'm going back
With sweet lies
That won't ease
The aching pain
And a numb heart
That won't feel
A thing