The sunlight streaming
Through the open window
Kisses my face good morning
And creeps under my eyelids
My mouth tastes like cotton
And bittersweet regret
I slide off the bed
Out from under the tangled mess
Of blankets and my innocence
A pack of cigarettes and black coffee
Beckon me
I lean over the iron balcony
Over the foreign cobbled street
A cancerstick dangling from my fingers
Wrapped around a delicate mug
His dress shirt flutters around my bare legs
In the morning breeze
Eyes closed, I feel the cigarette slipping
He rolls it coyly around his fingers
And takes a slow drag
Before leaning against the railing beside me
This stranger and I

One day
It broke
We stopped caring
about spiders and their webs
dust in corners
scattered toys on the lawn
and neigbours judging
We stopped

But then it began
the construction of new paths
new connections
outside us
morally deranged but marvellous
in their metaphors

And then the fights started
discovery of deceit
the heartbreak
and the revellations
revealing devils and demons
and dark desires

Gradually
It healed
We began to love
not sweet, innocent, postcard love
no! mad, ******, nasty love
a yelling, crying, caring love
not taking anything for granted love
We healed

Sadie was a doubtful one
Her mind was tightly shut
When faced with the fantastical
She’d fold her arms and tut
She pranced around her garden
With an playful evil aura
And dealt a merry flattening
To all that passed before her
Their bodies lay around her
And an imp of mischief found her

She loved to trap and poison
And wished she’d been a spider
When a fizzing overtook her
When a rumble grew inside her
When a shrinking and a shrivelling
Across her form did tickle
And soon did Sadie realise
That wishes can be fickle
Her legs and arms divided
Her eyeballs multiply did

So sorry Sadie scuttled
Alternating creep and crawl
She tippy-toe’d across the grass
And past her victims all
And sadness was upon her
And with mourning in her eyes
Her grief compounded hunger
And an appetite for flies
Her lengthy limbs belied her
Sorry Sadie was a spider

She loped along a lily
And her sorrow turned to guilt
Her carapace was aching
For the blood which she had spilt
She wept a web of anguish
With her sticky little tears
She wound a downward spiral
Like the falling of the years
Her malice had been stunted
Her fangs were dull and blunted

Sadie gained existence
On a web of worldly woes
She fed her tiny tummy
Where the buzz and flutter goes
And she learned the price of living
So she killed just what she ate
And she knew why killing needlessly
Was such an ugly trait
And with a human soul inside her
She chose to be a spider

You're welcome to examine my thoughts,
Just please don't entertain them;
To do so would be at your own risk.

From the outside looking in,
I can see how you'd be tempted,
But not everything is as it seems.

If you should happen to find yourself
Lost in me, Imprisoned in my dreams,
For your sake, step lightly through my reality.

If by chance you escape, sanity in tact,
Remember, just remember,
It wasn't personal, don't be angry for too long.

Don't be too worried about me,
I'll get along, and be okay in my own way.
And let me thank you for trying to save me from myself.

This labyrinth that is my mind,
It unfolds into what I know is my world
Sometimes my prison, sometimes my escape.

It's always been my reality
The choices are mine to make
But all too often, they end up making me.

I don't at all wish for you to go,
But I understand if it's hard for you to stay
My world can be a frightening place to be.

I look at your face and it all comes back.
The stolen kisses and evenings spent underneath the sheets.
You were gorgeous to me, a guy who I truly wanted to be.
No ****** intentions, just sweet innocent moves.
But how was I to know, what you really were.

A guy who built me up, gave me hope we would be together,
But how was I to know, what you were about to do.
Ignore me for days,
Leave me praying you didn't run away.
Then you did it, sent me the message. It's over, written in stone.

Every stolen kiss, gone in the air.
So when I look at you now, they float around in the air.
I wish this wasn't so,
That you could look at me with lust,
But instead you see me as this girl,
You stole a kiss from , two , three times maybe four.

dark streets
blurred lights
the rain has fallen
into the night

d
   r
     i
      p and
               drops
went the raindrops
i looked out of my window
oh what a weather to see

as the rain starts to pour
i can't help but to think of you more
wondering where you are
thinking of where you might have been

like beaded pearls
the rain continues falling
into my thoughts
i began drowning

i can only pray
that you could be here with me too
but here i am
in too deep with the tears