How does it feel to do it all again?

So lonely
I'm floating
Like the plastic bag on my head

No weight to hold you down
Face it
She's gone and the pains still around

So capable
A waste full of love

How does it feel to do it all again?

She says, "I feel nothing"
I say, "You're a liar"

Eventually you realize the relationship will expire

Maybe I was wrong?
I miss when we used to take strolls down the side walk

All those dreams of buying cars driving around in empty parking lots
Sipping morning coffee acting mindless

You are gone, and I will still live it
Just not with the face I expected
Not the face I knew when we were both children

I lie when I do not need to
My head hurts when I tell the demons to exit

I do not want to be alone,
Ignoring my fears feels reckless
My body feels neglected

None of it changes
You think my heart would be racing
Its dropping its pace and
I have no clue where im headed

It does not seem right
I dont take it lightly
My life won't end brightly
I've been up nightly
With my thoughts

I am choking
They fight me
Then I shut off
My batteries empty

I stopped feeling like a person
When I became all burnt out
Said I would not fade
But the screams have gone

I was all wrong
I knew I was lying
I could not help it

I seem to be dwelling in shame
I want to leave everything I care for
Its too much to stay

I should go away
The people in my head are fighting
While im all cuddled up by the fears that bite me

You're the reason I go to sleep happy
You still want to die
If a wish could come true
I'd waste it on you changing your mind

She said, "this will be a night you remember"
but I persisted we both would forget...
Until we parted ways and she left an imprint on my mind again.