you left me broken
you left me in pain
you left so many words unspoken
you left me in the rain

but I will rise up
but I will break through
but I will not burn up
but I will not be blue

because I matter
because I survived
because I will not clatter
because I have lived

therefore you won't win
therefore you won't take my sanity
therefore you won't get a grin
therefore you won't take my humanity

The lock on the door clicks
She stares at her shoes
Her sick stomach full of ick
She stops to think of thoughts so blue

His booming voice cold
Like trickling pools of ice
He tells her she's to old
And that tonight she will get no rice

Her stomach twists with hunger
She can’t stop staring at his hand
He stops and can wait no longer
His hand fall across her face with a hard smack and …..

She falls like a twig
Broken on the ground
He rips her skull pulling her hair like a wig.

they sit on my skin
with whirling purples
deep blues
mustard yellows
dark browns
colors mixing
like a painting
that lies just beneath
the skin
a man
who never loved me
left me these
to solely
remind me
that i was never wanted
i was a mistake
and i'm reminded
during his often
drunk fits
the alcohol
seems to control him
more than he
could control it

long crystals frozen
on tops of roofs
the snow coats
the thick green grass
christmas lights
hang limply off trees
the people are joyful
i fake a smile
and say im happy
but deep inside
the thought of you
eats away at me

most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sad

a name i will not soon forget
C O R A
my mother stated
while explaining to me that
we needed the money
more than i needed my body
C O R A
a name he chanted as his eyes
scavenged my body
C O R A
i wonder if he knew
i was old enough
to know right from wrong
but not what he was doing
to my body  the body,
that belonged to me but still
C O R A
he called as he ripped
my insides out
like an animal taring the carcass
of its prey
C O R A
the name of a girl no older than six
C O R A
i wonder if he knows that what he did
what he did to me my body than
would still effect me today
C O R A
i wonder if they knew
that's the first thing i lost
when i left them

dark? i think not
dark? i hope not
dark? i wish not
dark? i dream not

light? i think so
light? i hope so
light? i wish so
light? i dream so

Dear dad,
I hate you
I hate that you lie
I hate that u break things
Like this relationship
That's shattering infront of your feet
Dear mom,
How could you
Let your daughter be so bruised
So battered and broken
To then leave the pieces
like she was never yours
Dear woman,
Thank you
For coming into my life
Showing me what real love
How a real mother treats there daughter
Dear sister,
I wish I didn't know
You change your name
And spit on our legacies
Molesting not only me but our past
Dear love,
Why won't you come
When I lie on the on the ground
Tears streaming down my face
Asking myself where you are
when I need you the most
Dear tears,
You always betray me
When I want to stay strong
When I need to be okay
When I want you gone the most
Dear someone,
Somewhere reading this
I hope you glimps at my life
Not with pity
Not with sadness
But with understanding
that we are alike
Weather you can admit it or not

i could start this by explaining
that sometimes i forget myself
some days i let the past
catch up with me
some days i feel more broken and damaged
then loving and happy
but those are things you already know

maybe i could begin by recalling
our first kiss
your lips so sweet
your eyes so blue
sparkling like the ocean when the sun hits it just right
your hands pulling me closer against your chest
but is that really the start

i could start by retelling you
the story of the football games
there were two
before the second one finished we were drenched
the cold fall air nipping at our cheeks
we jumped into your dads truck
and you pulled me close
the day i fell asleep on your shoulder
as the heat from the truck ran against our skin
as we shared each others heat
but you probably remember that

i could start by talking about that night
when you kissed my lips
when you tasted like sugar
when i felt like my world was slipping it your hands
when we couldnt even focus on the show
cause the taste of each others lips drove us closer
but you cant forget that night if you wanted too

maybe i could start by talking about
the morning i woke up with a hickey
and spent an hour trying to cover it
the day my step mother asked too many questions and blew my cover
the morning i texted you frantically
covered in an old turtle neck shirt
but i bet u can still feel my panic

but maybe our story starts back in sixth grade
when i first met you
we dated for a week and then i listened to rumors
i broke up with you and when you tried to talk to me
i punched you in the jaw
but secretly i remembered your kindness
and each time i was hurt by someone
i remembered how understanding you were
but back then it was just puppy love

or maybe i should begin with something i realised today
your eyes are blue
there as captivating as the ocean
and they hold just enough mystery to intrigue me
but not enough to leave me in the dark
your honesty makes me feel like i belong
and those deep blue eyes make me feel like i could stay
but i think i already say that to much