Dear someone
Why do I open my doors
Let you take over my world
Occupy my mind
Let you take over my world
Even though I know
You’ll leave me in the end

cruelty comes in many
C O L O R S
this was the first lesson
that you ever taught me
your eyes looked so kind
A N D
you acted so nicely
but that's what confused me
because if you acted so
NICE
than what were you hiding
i try to understand you
but don't get how a person
C A N
be such a good liar
it was almost like
you were a master at
D E C E I V I N G

maybe one day
i will find a man
who can for me
be another
Y O U

have you ever felt like your
F L O A T I N G
like in your a deep ocean not falling no
F L O A T I N G
like the wind could blow you any were just
F L O A T
away, like time is moving raging quickly
and no matter how used to it you are  you still hate
F L O A T I N G

when we rule the
W O R L D
i almost wonder if we will leave the world in
A S H E S
or if we will grow the planet and move us
F O R W A R D
i suppose it all on the shoulders
of the people we let
R U L E

i may be hurt
maybe even
B R O K E N
but tonight
i put my trust in
Y O U
my hands in yours
my heart on my
S L E E V E
tonight you and me
we are forever
Y O U N G

you are warm
not in heat
but in your presence
i feel the safety one can only feel
when they are curled up in a blanket
cuddled on a chair cushion
with a good book
and the words that pass your lips
dance on these pages
while a fire crackles in the distance
and i am cozzy in your warmth

would you have apologized
would you have cared
i guess not
but i know there was a time
when i had your heart
when i felt you
when you where safety
but then you broke me
and i crashed through the seems
while you crushed me down
until i fell so far
that i became trapped

i love those days
when we cuddle for what seems like hours
when we pull each other close
i love those days
when we are comfortably silent
somehow the space between us never feels awkward
i love those moments
when you grab my hand holding it in yours
like you can sense the anxiety growing in my stomach
i love those moments
when you open up
i wish i could read your mind if only to help you

when i was younger
i had a
D R E A M
i thought that one day
i would have the strength to
D O
something to stop him
but as i grew that dream seemed to
D I E

her eyes held stars
her heart held so much love
she was young in sul
old in age
but you broke her
shattering her little heart
like she never meant anything
she probably didn't
but to me
she meant everything

i know
what i need
yet you insist on telling me
what i need
you told me to hurt myself like its
what i need
you told me that hope is
what i need
you told me smiling is
what i need
but how can i when you say
what i need
like you control all of
what i need
but i know best
what i need

if your like me
than you can
make your own mistakes
and you can be extraordinary
because if they cant except you
than do you really need them
be who you are
and the ones who are still there
the ones who stay
the ones that ride through the storm
with you and make it out
no matter how hard the wind blows
or were the lightning strikes
the ones that matter are still there
keep them  as near as you possibly can

It's that I miss the abuse
Because I don't
But it's days like these
Dark and stormy
When the thunder rolls
And lightning flashes on the sky
Just like the day it all began
Like the small details I will always remember
That I miss the comfort
Of knowing what to expect
Because now that I'm out of it
I can't find order
Or stick to a schedule
It's like my body longs For the abuse
Because at least I knew what came next

when i was a little bit younger
i was scared to fall in love
the idea of taking a
F A L L
the idea of loving someone
D E E P L Y
but then my eyes met his
his arms held me tightly
as we fell together
and in his eyes i found myself happily
D E S C E N D I N G

there goes my heart again
and you are the reason
i need you know
and there goes my head throbbing
cause i need your heart
just come back home
you leave here
all alone

there's something about his eyes
everytime i look into them they sparkle
and each time i catch his gaze
its like i am waking up from years of being
U N C O N S C I O U S
like each time he puts his hand in mine
im finally waking up out of a coma
finally seeing what the world is like when your
C O N S C I O U S
finally seeing that the pain the anguish the disaster
that you had been putting yourself through
was only a dream you watched pass your eyes while
U N C O N S C I O U S
but when you finally come too
you are able to realize that here in the real world
you are only happy when you are
C O N S C I O U S

i wish i could see him
but ive been drowning in myself
just pretending im fine
as you tell me that were just friends
i guess the fire in your eyes
burnt out
is this how we end?

guess it true i don't know how to feel with you
but when you put your arms round my waist
i know there's something
and sometimes i ground myself just by holding your hand
and wish we could go back to simpler times
when we could dance like fools with our friends
so dont leave me behind
cause our love is divine
and when you smile i forget to breath
so know your my everything

dreamer
that's what he is
a dreamer
my heart is his
this dreamer
has been so good
like im dreaming
something done by only cupid

when i was a young girl
i was scared of growing
O L D
i didn't understand it
but i was terrified of
L O V E
felt likei had no choice
now i know it was out of my
C O N T R O L
i wish someone would have saved me
i was going crazy on my
O W N

Your trauma made you stronger
You can tell me that all you want
But that didn’t make me stronger
It gave me sleepless nights
It left me in tears
I made me stronger
Because I had to deal with the consequences
That weren’t even my fault
I did that
Don’t give trauma any credit
For my strength

the hardest thing i ever did
was take a shower
its easy to let them **** me
its easy to fade
its easy to slide into the back of my mind
like i was never there
like that wasnt me
but it was me
and i know its not my fault
but how can i not blame myself
when i was three years old
my mother said she needed me to do it
that i was the only money she had
and when i was six i watched her do so many drugs
that it stole her from me
and i wasnt sure how to live
because what do you do
after youve been ***** ten times a day
for three years straight
when thats all youve ever been good for
when your convinced thats all you will ever be good for
it took my father ten years
to finally learn the truth
learn why i was so scared to open up
why i locked the door when i showered
why i checked the lock four times
why i constantly peered out of the shower
and washed myself as quickly as possible
often not bothering to rinse the soap from my hair
because if you took to long
you where joined
or worse she would yell
tell me how much of a waste i am
my dad always wondered why i hated showering
and it was always because
the hardest thing i ever did
was take a shower

mary had a little lamb
but mary did not give a ****
and so her lamb always followed her
cause sometimes love can leave you hurt
but only if that little lamb
could run away from that greedy hand
but now marys lost her little lamb
and its sad to say
she never gave a ****

you call me beautiful,
i am in love
and you make sure i know
i am enough
even when we dance to fast
and i trip on my clumsy feet
you remind me who i am
and you know how much i love you
i think i always tell you
but you make me happy somehow
i wish that you could read my mind
even when you let me stay over
and we spend the whole night together
it reminds me that you love me through the nights
and i swear i won't let you go

A storm in my heart
That has caused my emotions
To come in waves
Crashing to shore with choppy waves
From hundreds of stormy nights
And only the lucky ones
Make it to the shores
Because only a few
Find the lighthouse I'm hiding
With dark foggy clouds

like a
D R E A M
i let you in
but like a
D R E A M
you left me looking for
A N S W E R S

the summer before high school
after we had met
i knew id never tell you
cause we weren't even friends
but then when i turned sixteen
we got matching schedules
and now i know that i can call you
at like 2am
talk about our weird dreams
and the places we'd go
and i wished i told you before
i wish i said it before
but now you are my life
i know you will stay
we'll keep all our promises
the world in our own hands

write me a song
a small one that i can sing
A L O N G
i dont want to dance alone
so write me your favorite
S O N G
if only so i can understand
your elaborate
M I N D

he said to me you are beautiful
he said i was proud to call you my
G I R L
he said i love you for who you are
no makeup needed for you
G I R L
he said in that black dress
you occupy my head
and i love you
G I R L

once upon a time
i smiled for hours
i danced for days
i waited for weeks
and laughed for months
but most importantly
i loved you for years
even after you betrayed my heart

can you see what i see
open your sheltered
E Y E S
to the things people do
like the
M A N
that lives down the street
yesterday you saw a young
G I R L
you assumed it was his
D A U G H T E R
and paid her no attention
but she wasn't

can you see what i see
open your pretty
E Y E S
to the things people do
like the
W O M E N
down the street
that teenageish
B O Y
who you rumor to always be high
is only because she forces him
because if she goes to jail so will her
S O N
but you paid
him no attention

your cologne
stained my memories
the sent was strong
and when i miss you most
i think of the musty  sent of your
C O L O G N E

breath in the crisp fall air
ignore the memories that only surface in the
C O L D
try focusing on the nip on your cheeks
not listening to the bitter screams
echoing in the dark and
C O L D
fall nights,
lick your chapped  lips
listen to the rustle of leaves
not the men not even
the hands that always grabbed me from the
C O L D

like a ***
Just before the water
B O I L S
Or a person
Just before they
E X P L O D E
It feels like
My brain is about to
E M P L O D E
Because I'm expected
To smile like nothing is
W R O N G
But I have to
Sit in the living room and try not to
S I M M E R

when i see your face
as you walk into the room
im always reminded
of what i used to mean
T O   Y O U

"i wish i had something to do"
i say hoping you will understand
"you could always clean my house for me"
you respond and i realize you dont
"whats wrong"
you question half an hour later
"im overwhelmed and i just need to do something"
i whimper trying to avoid the oncoming tears
"its not that big of a deal jesus just go clean"
you respond insensitively
and so i cry leaving the room
"you better be getting up to clean"
you state as angry as you can
"why cant you just understand i'm having an attack"
but you cant you only think i know how to
clean

once in awhile
my days drag on
i feel like they
D R A G
me along
people say its a bad day
but what about the bad
W E E K S
and even the months
there are times were the days
turn into uninterrupted periods of simple
B A D   D A Y S