when i was younger i let you steal my
L I G H T
but know that i have grown older i will take back my
L I G H T
and than you will be left in the
D A R K N E S S
like you had left me in

salt water
stains my lips
my skin covered in a film of
D A R K
sand. my eyes trace your face
as i talk to you about the many
T I M E S
when i was younger
that i crashed on this old beach
tears glistening upon my cheek
as you remind me whats
A H E A D

into the
N I G H T
you and i run
hands hold
E A C H O T H E R
eyes hold our
dreams as we
run for the stars
we may find ourselves
upon a pedestal
that stands quite
close to the
M O O N

you found me
in my darkest times
you held my hand
and walked me to the
L I G H T
in you i found two things
i had never seen in my life
in you i found
T R U S T
and one beautiful
F R I E N D S H I P
and for that i will always be
G R E A T F U L

am i
B R O K E N
am i
F L A W E D
do i deserve a shred of
W O R T H
or am i just another fake ******* up lost
C A U S E

am i
H U M A N
or am i
S O M T H I N G   E L S E
cause im so scared and theres
N O   O N E   T H E R E
to save me from the
N I G H T M A R E
that i call
M Y S E L F

Were uncertainty
L I E S
there is truth
Were fear
C O N T R O L S
there is reunion
Were time
C R A W L S
there are hours
Were happiness
H I D E S
there are broken smiles

"hold me"
you said
"hold me, i cant stand on my own"
you said
"hold me, cause i'm not strong enough"
you said
"hold me, cause i know you can save me"
and yet you said
"i cant hold you up, because your to broken"
when i needed you most

if you close your
E Y E S
will it make the pain go
A W A Y
if i dont think about
I T
did it ever happen to
M E

before i met you i never felt good
E N O U G H
before i let you in i was ready to
G I V E   U P
my tears welled up in my
E Y E S
i felt like i had no more
T I M E
and then i let you in
to a world i never
S H O W
and you helped guide me through
every doubt i have
so when i say those words
i really mean them because
I
L O V E
Y O U

secrets are meant to be kept
yet when i told you i was hurt
when i told you i was broken
you told the whole world
that my flaws
where slowly dragging me down
that i
was slowly deteriorating
that there
was no hope for my mind
that i would always
spiral into the fear into my broken head
and when i rose above it wall
you told the world
my flaws where faked

oh your eyes
the window to the soul
but his where blank
each time he
R O B B E D
me of the things a child
a young lady
should not lose
at such a young
A G E
i tried to always focus
on those cruel
E Y E S
as if i could find
the slightest  bit of
S Y M P A T H Y

Fun, go have fun
Fun, you say
as if you don't understand
the second you turn your back
this man you invited into your home
is going to **** away my inisints
Fun, as if allowing him to pay you in drugs
is enough, but i know he will be back
but i guess if this is your idea of fun
then i suppose it is
because i am to listen to my mother
aren't i?

i found a boy
he told me i was going to be a star
opened the door
helb me through the dark
and hes perfect on paper
but hes lying to my face
i think he
somehow thinks i need to be saved
and there's someone else
hes from my past
tried to fall in love
but it never seemed to last
because the second i let him in he pushes me away
and i cant fight for your love
if you cant meet me halfway

wishing i could see you
isn't the same as missing you
its just wondering if i could ever
build up the confidence
to finally vocalize
the words that are swimming under the surface
everytime i see you
but i think they will always stay
U N S P O K E N    W O R D S

all i need
is somebody who will stay
my heart holds this
L O V E
but it never lasts
is a good guy
to much for me to ask
is there something i should
C H A N G E
am i expecting to much
dear god why cant i ever find
L O V E

i have been through
6 high schools
they start to get blurry
no time to plant roots
cause im gone in a week
don't have time to unpack
because like that were gone
don't remember faces
cant remember names
and i will never forget that day
but i can remember
how you made me feel

Says the girl
With a bright red lipped
S M I L E
She always looks happy
She always looks
P E R F E C T
Just waiting on the day
Somebody asks her how life is at
H O M E
Because if you asked her that
She’d say well she would say
That home is just like walking on a pool of
E G G S H E L L S
If you brake to many you'll fall
She’d say you don't know what lifes like when that curtains
C L O S E D
“Daddy always tells me
He's trying to act
T O U G H”
But she’d say he
Treats her more like he wants to
C U T   H E R  O F F
And if you asked about her momma
She’d cry from the
S T A R T
She was cursed by her parents
Never felt real
L O V E
And so
H E L L O
Says the girl
With the red lipped
S M I L E

his smile        made me
forget the world     i was running
away from his arms sweeping me
from the fire that was my dysfuncti
onal life and into the stream
that was his
love

watching the time pass
as seconds turn into minutes
and then into hours
i realize that im wasting my time
waiting for you

here i sit
close to the ground
and like a tree i will
G R O W

i wonder if you knew how old i was
i wonder if i told you now if you would even
C A R E
just because i was too small to decide on my own
you a third person let my mother decided this
F O R
me. a child a small girl with zero understanding
of what you were doing to me
i wonder if you know that i lost my virginity to you
a man i don't even know the name of
and in losing that i lost the little bit of
C H I L D H O O D
that i had left
because little do you know four years
was as long as i had
L I V E D

i guess i was brought up
in quite a different time
or maybe its the feeling
of abandonment
i have always felt inside
my parents left me
in the hospital
while i cried
the doctors
used foster care
in hopes
i would have
a better life
and so family
to family
i was pasted along
from one broken home
to the next
some were kind
but most were not
they beat us
black and blue
till our eyes swelled shut
and our lips were fat
i prayed to a god
that i found no refuge in
but one day i will escape
the pains of
foster care

you sit next to me
only a few feet between us
and yet even though your so close
i feel like you are
W O R L D S     A W A Y

i find myself standing around
playing with my keys finding reasons not to
L E A V E
driving just a little to
S L O W
taking the longest way
H O M E
in this world i found myself existing
A L O N E

i met you first in a class about angles
yo stole my breath
when yo smiled just like a
F O X
but like a fox you were cunning and cruel
i trusted your words
i yearned for your heart
but you left me there all alone in
G E O M E T R Y

everytime i look in those eyes
my heart pounds outta my chest
and when i feel your lips
its like a soft summertime kiss
under the moon shining so bright
over an od field of knee high
and each time you give me your heart
on the palm of your hand
its like i've never been here before
never been close
never been so happy
except for when i look in your eyes

when the stars all die
and you leave us in the cold
are we expected to climb
like were in some kind of hole
when the light all fades
and we waste away
what words would you then
begin to say

Even if we both break down
And I say I
H A T E   Y O U
and you say you
H A T E  M E
So you go to bed crazy
Even if me both break down
And you wish I you were
R I G H T
And I wish that I was
R I G H T
I know that you still
L O V E  M E
And you know I
L O V E   Y O U

when i was younger
i never bothered
to plant any
R O O T S
i never built anything
to hold me down
so even if i don't say it
it still hurts me everytime you
fight with her
it feels like once i finally
get myself just a little
R O O T E D
it feels like
everytime i feel myself happy
you pull me
just to hurt me by
U P R O O T I N G
myself from where
i had worked to hard to
P L A N T

life isnt fair
it isnt kind
it doesnt discriminate
from weak to strong
the rich or poor
none of that matters
nobody asks for the pain
nobody asks for the blessings
they just come
and sometimes thats the only thing that keeps us going
but sometimes it leaves us lost in pieces
broken beyond repair
left alone in a lost sea
that someone has yet to
D I S C O V E R

if you see  the girl
i used to be could you
tell her im trying to
F I N D   H E R
and if you see the shell
that's left of me
could take the time to spear a little
K I N D N E S S
cause i've been
H I G H
and i've been
L O W
i've spent a thousand nights
A L O N E
trying to hold on tight
to something that was never
M I N E

i have been told that
D I S T A N C E
is relative,
and relative
if you asked me right know
i would say that your relatively
F A R
and if you asked me just yesterday
i would have told you im relatively
C L O S E
to breaking down
because for now i feel so alone
i have missed all the elements
wishing they weren't so
D I S T A N T
from me now
i guess its to say
that i miss you most
at six feet
A P A R T
when i see you at my window
but cant drive you in my car
it feels like miles
with you six feet
A P A R T

i miss your calls
for months it seems
i forget that to you
i never have to be mean
i will never forget you
or your mother that i promise
but im
S O R R Y
to my forgotten lover
S O R R Y
im not good enough
S O R R Y
i just cant believe that anyone could love
my broken and damaged heart
my forgotten and lost soul
S O R R Y
to my unknowing lover

W H I S P E R
can you hear her
can you listen if she calls her
dreaming of being
C L O S E
to the people that stand
just far off the
E D G E
but far enough to keep them
a little too far out of
R E A C H

the system is
R I G I D
please don't slip
U P
because if you do i
F E A R
that they, the
O F F I C I A L S
may come back just to
K I L L      Y O U

sit on the floor
in an empty
R O O M
tune out the voices
try not to
H A L L U C I N A T E
because if you do
let them drag you
U N D E R
you will wake up in a world
with absolutely no
S P L E N D O R

here we sit hiding
F E A R
between my teeth
my eyes dart
S E A R C H I N G
for a key
or maybe a code
anything that i could
use to open these
D O O R S

but you will never be alone
you promised me this
A L L
said you'd be with me from
D A Y   T I L L   N I G H T
and that you would hold me tight
but your words were always
L I E S
cause baby im still here

i found
M Y S E L F
explaining this to the kids
some from group
H O M E S
some from broken
F A M I L I E S
there eyes dance with the
E X C I T E M E N T
from the idea of a place called
H O M E

seems like some piece of me will always lose
each time i choose
swear im right
but is it wrong
am i supposed to be at all
i dont have the energy
not most days
pull myself out of bed
what i would give to see
if the grass was greener
on the side of the fence i cant walk to go
feels like i keep breaking the best things i've ever had
but i know i can never change my
P A S T

some days i feel like a
F L O W E R
the petals are my
C O N F I D E N C E
the petals red stained with my
B L O O D
the leaves green with my will to
L I V E
the stem rising high to show my
G R O W T H
the buds the pain i hold
I N S I D E

like a pen
dropped from your
P O C K E T
like a notebook
that's fallen out of a
B A C K P A C K

you left me on the
S T R E E T
and i wished i could of
seen this when i first
M E T
you, but i guess you can never
truly tell how a person
is actually on the
I N S I D E

sometimes u could hear a pin drop
in between the awkward silence
other times i would hear their screams
when they thought i was asleep
arguments over little things
that never really mattered
sometimes i think they just wanted the
F I G H T

the clock keep moving
but it feels as if time is
F R O Z E N
because when
i was younger
i that that
I S
how time worked
freezing sometimes
bt i learned that wasn't how the
T I M E
we are so used to works

Distorted view
Of my old
D R E A M S
A perfect image
Of my new
W O R R I E S
When I close my eyes
I see the faces of my
P A S T
When I open my eyes
I see the people of my
P R E S A N T

i walk into the morgue
to identify my best friends body
i reach to hold her hand
but they push me away from you
away from your memory
as tears threaten to make a flood
as a flash flood warning comes across my face

i walk out of the morgue
almost in a daze broken
feeling more hopeless as ever
reaching for my door handle

i walk into my house
but it doesnt feel right
its to empty
to quite
so i stop trying to hold back my sobs

i walk into my bathroom
i find a razor
digging it into my skin
pulling it across my arm
trying to copy your scars

i walk to the hospital
i dont want to die
but i cant bare to lose you
im trying to breath
trying to keep my head up
but it feels like im drowning
like waves of sorrow keep crashing
pushing back under

i walk to the emergency room
and the smell reminds me of the morgue

i walk out leaving you behind me
but i will always see you there
every single time that

i walk