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162 · Mar 2022
moonlight
Melanie Jackson Mar 2022
she is the moon shining bright
but she is only bright thanks to him
for he must first exist for her to truly shine
he is not the sun
no he's far from that
his job is far more important than simply burning for her
he does burn for her in a different sense
for he is the darkness that surrounds her
holding her
loving her
making sure shes all the brighter in his arms
160 · Dec 2021
glass relationships
Melanie Jackson Dec 2021
I've decided you and i
we were like stained glass
we shattered
we broke
and when I tried to fix us I suffered the cut
never putting us back together properly
and so when I finally gave up
and you finally started trying
I knew we were to far gone to ever fix
158 · Sep 2021
burning heat
Melanie Jackson Sep 2021
the summer sun
beating down on September
running out the cold
making the heat
thats burning down on the turf field
radiate burning holes
in the soles of my feet
156 · Mar 2019
memories
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
they flood back as i close my eyes
like a silent reminder
the faces bounce in and out
the pain comes rushing back
was i the one who caused this
could i have escaped this
will i ever know?
155 · Jan 2022
three words for you
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
before i met you
they where just three empty words
that i overused never understanding the meaning
but now they feel met to you
i know see me overthinking
even the tiniest of moments
even though you tell me i don't ever have too
and i know that you will always answer my call
but i can never pick up the phone
and tell you the three words
that are so brimming when i see it to you
155 · Apr 2022
Hand grenade
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
You are a hand grenade
In the shape of a boy
Your kindness like an explosion
Turning our love explosive
You came into my life like a burst of fresh air
And somehow you pulled me in
Even as I worried the flames would burn me
Except your flames aren’t painful
Your flames are the most loving thing
I’ve ever felt
And as they swallow me burning around me
I fell so hard that I could finally see
why I loved you so much
It was because you where a hand grenade
In the shape of a boy
154 · Apr 2019
once i met a dog
Melanie Jackson Apr 2019
his name was jack
a hyper breed at that
he taught me love
he taught me strength
but when i needed him most he was gone in a blink
the  words he left inside may head
still stands there like a useless thread
his word were strong
but hard to hear
he said to me im sorry dear
my job is done
and so i must be gone
i have changed your life whats done is done
i do not mean to cause you tears but i must go
for my job is done here
151 · Jan 2022
love from god
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
we where brought together
not by luck
not without pain
not without brokenness
but by god
on our own roads to recovery
and in each other we find the answers
to the questions we began to drown in
and in those answers we found love
148 · May 2019
demons inside
Melanie Jackson May 2019
She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right

These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails

So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night
148 · Mar 2019
breathe
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
in and out close to dreams
in and out the hope so close
in and out wishing i was close
in and out waiting for my hopes
in and out loving hopelessly and dreamlessly
in and out i stand alone
in and out life so cold
147 · Dec 2024
Spiral
Melanie Jackson Dec 2024
These woes are my canvas baby
Do you get what I means
These words have built my army
Filled with my colors and dreams
I try to rest easy
But they wake me up early
They bounce around me restless
Till they feel like there honest
Even when there spiraling out of control
146 · Oct 2021
I wasn't born
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
I wasn't born
To be
Soft and quite
I was born
to make the world
Shatter and shake
At my fingertips

I wasn't born
To watch
From the sidelines
I was born
To see dreams
Become as vivid and real
As my poems
145 · Apr 2022
captivated
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
before you no one was worth setteling down
in my soul however i always wanted
someone who could capture my heart
and you are quite captivating
somehow you have captivated me
you have stolen my heart
i am completely wrapped around your fingers
i love you
and your captivating voice
and your captivating smile
and your captivating words
and your captivating soul
and i think to myself
perhaps we've captivated eachother
144 · Apr 2022
House fire
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
What doesn’t **** you makes you stronger
I’ve heard that said far to many times
But growing up in a house on fire
That doesn’t make you stronger
That leaves you with
third degree emotional burns
That manifest into unbridled chaos
I mean I can’t even light the stove top
I mean I can’t even taste cheep beer
Or smell cheep wine
Without the feeling of your fist
Colliding with my cheek bone
Without the feeling of purple bruises
Burning across my cheeks
You where the reason the house was lit on fire
Don’t try to tell me I’m stronger
143 · Dec 2020
before i go
Melanie Jackson Dec 2020
it was never the right time
when i'd hit you up
i kept telling myself i love you
but i was just kidding myself
all of our moments dragging along
cause i still cant tell you
the words that i needed to say
and you hurt me under the surface
and our troubled waters growing cold
i will heal but you wont
so before i go
i want you to know
that this isnt your fault
and im sorry that there's nothing i can say
to stop your hurting
please dont let your mind make you feel so worthless
before i go
142 · Oct 2021
mr deputy
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
i wait on the bay
watching as he makes introductions
but hes forever skipping me
forever walking by
i have to fight my urge to meet you
walk up and shake hands with the deputy
but my hands are far to ******
from crimes against myself
knowing i shouldnt each time i commit another
but still my hands are covered
in a color so crimson
that it almost hurts but i still keep committing
and im sorry that i keep disappearing mr deputy
142 · Apr 2022
all i want
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
our love is just friendship lit on fire
when i see you
i fulfill my every desire
you build me up before i fall apart
your the first person
I've not been afraid to give my heart
you deserve the love
that i give to you
even if you don't agree
i know i argue
that's just my nature
your my only love
and the only one i will ever want
141 · Feb 2022
recover
Melanie Jackson Feb 2022
how does one ever recover from this?
i don't think i ever can
perhaps i don't want to
perhaps its easier not to
don't judge me though
we all carry our own baggage
some just carry it more inwardly
138 · Sep 2021
drowning in my lungs
Melanie Jackson Sep 2021
Water rushing above me
The surface breaking and folding
Bubbles floating escaping my lips
Vibrating out of my nose
Floating above my hair
Burning in my chest that seems to keep growing
Reaching toward the light
Just out of reach
As hundreds of hands rush down
Pushing me further
Taking me deeper
Until my lungs stop
Until i feel the buzz of oxygen
Until i remember how to fill my balloons
Until i remember how to float
Until these fake bladders
fill with amber liquid
Until my breath comes back stronger
And the images of me drowning fade
into the back of my skull
Like distant memories
And i realize that i'm not in water
But a hospital bed
Drowning in fluids i produced
Realizing that my body’s slowly killing me
138 · Dec 2024
Denial river
Melanie Jackson Dec 2024
Denial is a river
And baby I've drowned at the bottom
Watched it flow above my head
Watch the bubbles leave my mouth

Denial is a river
She ***** you down deep
Leaves you sure your fine at the bottom
After all you can see even if it's blurry

Denial is a river
I'm learning how to swim with the tide
Learning how to tread the water
So maybe I won't drown
138 · Oct 2021
my heart
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
you reminded my heart
what it felt like to be loved
i held you too tight
and you promised
to never let me go
But then you left
Before I was ready to let go
for that
i will always hate you
because you broke my heart
138 · Oct 2021
my depression
Melanie Jackson Oct 2021
sometimes i have all the inspiration in the world
i write poem
i write stories
i write the inner folds of myself
and sometimes i have absolutely none
i cant walk
i cant talk
i cant even get out of my bed
and thats just my depression i guess
137 · Mar 2019
no one tells
Melanie Jackson Mar 2019
No one tells little girls
How boys with such pretty eyes
Who smell like smoke,
Who taste like rain,
Who talk like silver,
Are the reason behind
Tear soaked pillows,
Half finished poems
And so many sad dreams
135 · Dec 2021
oceans and earths
Melanie Jackson Dec 2021
I live on an ocean
Flowing with the waves
Watching as they crash on the coast
Watching as you run to meet them
Connecting your world with mine
You grass
Your green
Your smiles
Your dreams
Your sandy beaches
Running to meet
my water
My blue
My fear
My destruction
My coral reefs
I watch gliding toward you slowly
Until there is no space between us
Not even molecules of air
Until ocean and earth are one
Like we always should be
135 · Oct 2020
a boy from the past
Melanie Jackson Oct 2020
i found a boy
told me i was his world
held the door
held my hand through the dark
and hes a kind boy
hes from my past
and we fell in love
his eyes tell me it will last
and though love is a fight he has met me half way
and i know each time
his lips touch mine
hes the kind of man that is almost impossible to find
135 · May 2022
To you
Melanie Jackson May 2022
I won’t say I hate you
Because no matter how much
I wish I never met you i don’t
But your love didn’t grow flowers
It built coffins
And I know it’s wrong of me
But I don’t forgive you
I can’t just forget how you
Burnt the house you called a home
to the ground
Was that just to excuse
all the pain you went through
I remember when you would start fights
Just to have the control to put tears in our eyes
Now there soaking through the floorboards
And I could always tell
When the liquor was to strong
I could see it in your eyes
I don’t think I can ever understand
what you did to me
Are you better now that I’m gone
135 · Jan 2022
beautifully rebuilt
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
i wish i could give you my pain
not to hurt you
i would never wish that
but so that you could understand
I'm not broken
or shattered
i am beautifully rebuilt
135 · Apr 2022
worthy
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
dont you ever let your mistakes
make you feel you aren't worthy
of my love
you are more deserving of me
than i am of you
you are the only one i will ever want
you are more worthy of my love
than any other person could ever be
133 · Feb 2021
Adventure through time
Melanie Jackson Feb 2021
I wonder if he's happy
Now that he's gone on his
A D V E N T U R E
I wonder if he thinks about
Me and him
T H R O U G H
The freezing cold nights
I wonder if he ever looks back
On the beautiful
T I M E
When he called me "mine"
132 · Feb 2022
yours
Melanie Jackson Feb 2022
i am broken
i am shattered into a thousand pieces
i am nothing but shards
and yet i lay every **** piece
down at your feet
they've always been yours
and they will always be
take the ones you want leave what you don't
rebuild me into what you need
and i will make you smile
every single day
131 · Mar 2021
I love you
Melanie Jackson Mar 2021
When I say I love you
What I'm trying to tell you
Is that no matter what
This world throws at us
It won't shake me lose

When I say I love you
What I'm trying to say is
I will fight the biggest battle
The strongest monsters
Just to hold your hand

When I say I love you
What I want you to know is
I am here through this timeline
And through the next
So I wanted to let you know
I love you
131 · Jul 2022
dont pretend
Melanie Jackson Jul 2022
I wasnt kidding when I said I love you
I meant it with all my heart
All my soul
With all of me
you are my world
don't pretend not to see
how happy I am
how in love I am
how much I want to be with you
because I love you is hard
but with you it comes easy
130 · Mar 2022
to much
Melanie Jackson Mar 2022
i break the ice
so they dont see how i break inside
i have to be kind
or they'll make fun of my size
i get told I'm to loud
and i have to keep busy
I'm sorry if i don't respond please don't forget me

i let them keep me around
so there flaws just seem silly
i say I'm okay
or they wont listen to what i need to say
i get told I'm not pretty
and i refuse to be to proud
I'm sorry if i think i sing well when you cant
129 · Mar 2022
let you yell at me
Melanie Jackson Mar 2022
i let you scream at me at me
because i know its not at me
no its at the stage
its at the lights
its at the speakers
i just happen to be at the receiving end

i let you scream at me
being careful not to tell you about my week
careful not to tell you how i swallowed my tears
careful not to let you see the panic attacks
but they hurt
but there there
even though i let you yell at me
129 · Jan 2020
night shift
Melanie Jackson Jan 2020
i see the kids
who get awards
for things like
perfect attendance
and best grades
but why not an award
for working the
night shift
cause momas adicted
and daddys gone
moma cant work
cant be sober long enough
so tell me
why don't they
have an award
for keeping your family
off the streets
i come in late
and all you do is scowl
but you don't know
what its like
working from six to three
for less than minimum wage
i dont to math homework
because im to busy  
doing taxes and paying bills
127 · Jan 2021
a rose
Melanie Jackson Jan 2021
he is a rose
his skin is soft and bright
like the petals of a rose
his voice as as deep as a shade of crimson
like the red that surrounds the flower
his personality sharp but kind precise
like the thorns that decorate the stem
and every piece of him is beautiful and majestic
just like a rose
a kind
beautiful  
flower
that
holds
a past of    
much love        
as i
feel
for
him
127 · Jun 2022
Waters
Melanie Jackson Jun 2022
Shallow waters are loud
Whipping flowing
Screaming begging to be heard
Begging to be the center of attention
Like how you
Whip me with your words
Flowing from your mouth
Screaming at me begging to be heard
Begging to center of attention

While deep waters are quiet
Screaming in there silence
Begging to stay hidden
Like how I
Was always quiet
Screaming in silence to be loved
But knowing my need to be hidden
In a lot of ways we are like water
126 · Apr 2022
everything
Melanie Jackson Apr 2022
you set the bar
into the sky
how could i ever leave you
i dont want to be 30 something
and still in my head
thinking about 18 something
in a hotel room bed
talking about forever
wrapped up in your arms
you are my everything

you set the bar
in the stars
how could i ever want to leave you
i would rather be 30 something
holding our kids
telling them about 18 something
the love story we wrote
reading them every word and chapter
you will always be my everything
126 · Nov 2021
do they care
Melanie Jackson Nov 2021
why am I broken
when did I get flaws
why do you treat me
like I don't deserve a shred of worth
promise I'm not a fake ******* up lost cause
I know I'm human
but you treat me like something else
and I know I'm human
so why do you treat me like I'm something else
I've always been there for you
even when think don't think it is true
I helped out
I watched them cry
I dried their tears
but now I know there's no one here that even cares
126 · Jan 2022
i want to kiss you
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
I want to kiss you
I want to feel the electricity between us
I want to light the flames in your heart
I want to burn the world with our passion
I want everyone to dream about us
I want our love to be the storybook children get to read
I want to be open
I want to be close
I want to float into the sky without worry
I want to kiss you
I hope you want that too
126 · Jan 2022
all ive ever wanted
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
i saw you just last night
but it feels like i haven't my whole life
but i know its just in my head
i had been trying to hold onto love with people
who never thought of me as enough
but then i see the way you look at me
and you set the bar above the moon
so i don't want to be any older
and still in my bed thinking about those Sunday mornings
the way you listened to me
the church that felt like home for me
wondering what we could have been
i don't want these memories to be past tense
because your everything I've ever wanted
126 · Nov 2019
save yourself
Melanie Jackson Nov 2019
save yourself from
the pain i caused
save yourself from
the broken pieces
save yourself from
the mess i create
save yourself from
the things i have done
save yourself from
the person i have become
save yourself from
the walls i build to high
126 · Mar 2020
birthday
Melanie Jackson Mar 2020
today i turn
S W E E T   1 6
a special day for most
but never for
M E
125 · Jan 2022
roses are red
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
roses are red
violets are blue
i wish I could get out of my head
because with you there sometimes I wish I was dead
124 · Feb 2020
who's to blame
Melanie Jackson Feb 2020
the things that you
S T O L E
i will never forgive you for
the person i was seems
L O S T
in some kind of transit
i can't help feeling the
P A I N
that you inflicted on me
and yet somehow i still
B L A M E
myself
124 · Jan 2022
reason to stay
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
im sorry i love you slowly sometimes
and others i jump in head first
i don't know what its like to love
without being in survival mode
but i want you to know that on the early march day
you where my reason to stay
and you still are even today
123 · May 2021
love on terms
Melanie Jackson May 2021
you only need my light
when im running low
only say to smile
when my tears flow
only want my love
when it fit your schedule
only miss my dress
when you pull it off
you love me on your terms
not on what i need
123 · Jan 2022
books
Melanie Jackson Jan 2022
books are my escape
they paint roses with words
they capture stories in full color
they tell you of loves no one can see
they remind me the world isn't always so bad
but they also show you that when it is bad its always the worst
123 · Aug 2020
sun kissed
Melanie Jackson Aug 2020
my skin was
B U R N T
in the bright summer
S U N
and it amazed me how yours
T A N N E D
but i suppose you were just a tad more
S U N    K I S S E D
than i would ever get
122 · Nov 2024
Thankful
Melanie Jackson Nov 2024
I wish this time
Didn't feel like a memory
Like your hours of lectures
Because I'd never be good enough
Never be thankful enough
But what could I tell you
How could I thank you
When you provided the bare minimum
And used gifts as manipulation
Just to take them away before they derived any joy
How could the isolated child
That never asked for you
To take your trauma out on them
To be thankful
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