take a picture
of this perfect place
while were caught up
in everybody's empty
W O R D S
take a second
let it in
because nobody here needs your
G R A C E
take a glance
of a world
standing right infront of your
F A C E
because when you blink
years will pass
and no one will care for
L I F E

there is a tree
that lives on my
G R A S S
it was planted the day
that i was born
and during the
Y E A R S
it grew tall
with leaves bright
and dark bark protecting its
I N S I D E S
but as years went on
the insides rotted
O U T
until it fell to the ground
shattered into a million
P I E C E S
and i worry that soon
i will begin to
F A L L O W

there is a house
built out of
S T O N E
with wooden floors
wooden walls
and window cells
the tables and chairs are
W O R N
from all the settled dust
this is a place where i dont feel
A L O N E
this is a place where i can finally feel at
H O M E

im hanging on the ropes this time
i've been fighting all my
L I F E
for this. wish it could have gone
just a little
B E T T E R
than it did. but i guess i must
thank you for the happiest
Y E A R
of my life. even if you dragged me around
and i lost my will to
L I V E
i still owe you the happiest days
of my
L I F E
i just hope we can meet again next
Y E A R

how can you miss someone
that you've never met
cause im missing you
N O W
because im lost inside my mind again

how can you miss someone
you've never seen
is your hair red brown or green
and do you drink it straight
or like honey in your tea

because i need you. please
F I N D    M E

when i was younger
i never bothered
to plant any
R O O T S
i never built anything
to hold me down
so even if i don't say it
it still hurts me everytime you
fight with her
it feels like once i finally
get myself just a little
R O O T E D
it feels like
everytime i feel myself happy
you pull me
just to hurt me by
U P R O O T I N G
myself from where
i had worked to hard to
P L A N T

mine is full
of people whoes
N A M E S
i could never truly tell you
like bestie from elementary
<3 <3 <3
what does that even mean
oh thats right it means
that our perfect
F R I E N D S H I P
that we had as children
fizzed into nothing bye
the end of our sixth grade
Y E A R
i dont even know why people
feel that they need these
P H O N E S
because all its ever done is
ruin my little sliver of
H A P P I N E S S
i had left
but were still glued to these
P H O N E S

when i was younger
i watched the mountains
they surround the valley
making me feel
T R A P P E D
wrapping across the land
pulling me in with the curiosity but
K E E P I N G
me stuck in this valley
and keeping me
I S O L A T E D
from the rest of the world
that has pushed me out
and trap me in these
M O U N T A I N S

i wonder if you knew how old i was
i wonder if i told you now if you would even
C A R E
just because i was too small to decide on my own
you a third person let my mother decided this
F O R
me. a child a small girl with zero understanding
of what you were doing to me
i wonder if you know that i lost my virginity to you
a man i don't even know the name of
and in losing that i lost the little bit of
C H I L D H O O D
that i had left
because little do you know four years
was as long as i had
L I V E D

sometimes i couldn't hear myself
S C R E A M I N G
couldn't feel the pain you were
I N F L I C T I N G
like i had put myself away

and sometimes i catch myself
D R E A M I N G
couldn't stop the flashbacks from
C O M I N G   O N
like i wanted to feel something other than pain

everytime i look back on my
C H I L D H O O D
i see your face in the
B A C K G R O U N D
like out of the corner of my eye
i see your face lingering still
and know i know what to call it
just a little
S E C O N D H A N D    S M O K E

i have been told that
D I S T A N C E
is relative,
and relative
if you asked me right know
i would say that your relatively
F A R
and if you asked me just yesterday
i would have told you im relatively
C L O S E
to breaking down
because for now i feel so alone
i have missed all the elements
wishing they weren't so
D I S T A N T
from me now
i guess its to say
that i miss you most
at six feet
A P A R T
when i see you at my window
but cant drive you in my car
it feels like miles
with you six feet
A P A R T

salt water
stains my lips
my skin covered in a film of
D A R K
sand. my eyes trace your face
as i talk to you about the many
T I M E S
when i was younger
that i crashed on this old beach
tears glistening upon my cheek
as you remind me whats
A H E A D

his breath smelt of whisky
and his cloths of cigarette
S M O K E
his hands were rough
as he stole from my
B O D Y
and when he had taken
what he wanted
he left me in the
T R E E S

but you will never be alone
you promised me this
A L L
said you'd be with me from
D A Y   T I L L   N I G H T
and that you would hold me tight
but your words were always
L I E S
cause baby im still here

Like a song i hold you close
I listen to your words
Like there repeated
V E R S U S
Like if i listen long enough
Your words will become some kind
O F
Beat will emerge from them
Like even though you never said it
From your metaphors and versus
That will tell me that we still have
L O V E

Is it weird
That on the days i start to miss
Y O U
listen to the songs we used to listen to on
R E P E A T
Is it odd
That on the days i missed you the
M O S T
I pretend that your a ghost or you never really
There even though i know that's
R E A L I S T I C A L L Y
Incorrect
Is it wrong
That on the nights that i miss you,
D U R I N G
Every memory playback
There you are painting the stars of the
N I G H T

some times I can feel there
O P P R E S S I O N
it weighs me down like a thick
S Y R U P
the kind the use to suppress a
C O U G H
sticky so much so that it sticks to your
T H R O A T
closing it slowly so you can form no
W O R D S
but one day you will get to hear my
V O I C E
when that day comes i just hope you
L I S T E N

have you ever felt like your
F L O A T I N G
like in your a deep ocean not falling no
F L O A T I N G
like the wind could blow you any were just
F L O A T
away, like time is moving raging quickly
and no matter how used to it you are  you still hate
F L O A T I N G

the clock keep moving
but it feels as if time is
F R O Z E N
because when
i was younger
i that that
I S
how time worked
freezing sometimes
bt i learned that wasn't how the
T I M E
we are so used to works

when i was younger
i had a
D R E A M
i thought that one day
i would have the strength to
D O
something to stop him
but as i grew that dream seemed to
D I E

i see the stares
that people
T H R O W
at us when we have
panic attacks
i see
Y O U R
eyes darting
with judgement
and sometimes i wish
you would stop throwing judgement
long enough to find
K I N D N E S S

i stare in the mirror
my reflection
U N C L E A R
the snow is falling
outside the window, making the
F U T U R E
wash away
alone in this room
my heart will eventually break
but that is to waite
i don't want to get
A H E A D
of myself

once in awhile
my days drag on
i feel like they
D R A G
me along
people say its a bad day
but what about the bad
W E E K S
and even the months
there are times were the days
turn into uninterrupted periods of simple
B A D   D A Y S

who's
B L O O D
is this?
staining my hand
who's
B L O O D
is this?
when i come to
who
C U T
my arms?
this wasn't my doing
was it?
I   H O P E   N O T

Says the girl
With a bright red lipped
S M I L E
She always looks happy
She always looks
P E R F E C T
Just waiting on the day
Somebody asks her how life is at
H O M E
Because if you asked her that
She’d say well she would say
That home is just like walking on a pool of
E G G S H E L L S
If you brake to many you'll fall
She’d say you don't know what lifes like when that curtains
C L O S E D
“Daddy always tells me
He's trying to act
T O U G H”
But she’d say he
Treats her more like he wants to
C U T   H E R  O F F
And if you asked about her momma
She’d cry from the
S T A R T
She was cursed by her parents
Never felt real
L O V E
And so
H E L L O
Says the girl
With the red lipped
S M I L E

W E L C O M E
those who are happy
i'm sorry i can't be like
Y O U
i wish i could
and maybe one day i will be
H A P P I E R
but until then please
come to my page and read my broken
W O R D S

inside my soul
lives a burning
C O L D
i try to use heat
but i cant seem to
H E A T
me up

in the lightness
i felt your
D A R K
it wrapped me up
and held me quite
C L O S E
and for awhile
you even convinced me that your
D A R K N E S S
wasn't bad
and that it could save me from my own
L I G H T

sit on the floor
in an empty
R O O M
tune out the voices
try not to
H A L L U C I N A T E
because if you do
let them drag you
U N D E R
you will wake up in a world
with absolutely no
S P L E N D O R

i am the girl
that everyone
K N O W S
i am hiding behind a
M A S K
you will see me as the
H A P P Y    G I R L
you cant see inside my
M I N D
in fact no one can
no one sees my many
L A Y E R S
i wish for help
but no one hears
because you laughed it off
after all im just the
H A P P Y    G I R L

today i had a
P H Y S I C A L
post traumatic stress disorder
A T T A C K
for those who don't
K N O W
what it is i will
E X P L A I N
its a memory that the
B R A I N
has not processed so its separated into
P A R T S
like the sounds, the emotions, and the physical
F E E L I N G
that is in the category of a
P H Y S I C A L
post traumatic stress disorder
A T T A C K

if we never met
i think i would be
D I F F E R E N T
i think i might be a little
H A P P I E R
but i also think i wouldn't be so
S T R O N G
you may have temporarily
B R O K E
me but i am learning and growing and becoming
B E A U T I F U L

who are
Y O U
do you let your
P A S T
control yo or do you have
P O W E R
over the soul that has always been
Y O U R S

does not hold you
it has no
P O W E R
over you
over the body
that will always be
Y O U R S
no matter who or what
tries to take that from
Y O U

i found
M Y S E L F
explaining this to the kids
some from group
H O M E S
some from broken
F A M I L I E S
there eyes dance with the
E X C I T E M E N T
from the idea of a place called
H O M E

if you close your
E Y E S
will it make the pain go
A W A Y
if i dont think about
I T
did it ever happen to
M E

the system is
R I G I D
please don't slip
U P
because if you do i
F E A R
that they, the
O F F I C I A L S
may come back just to
K I L L      Y O U

S M I L E
it makes you look more
P R E T T Y
S M I L E
it makes you look more
Y O U N G
S M I L E
it makes you seem
H A P P I E R
remember to
S M I L E

1 pill
2 pills
3 pills
one more
take them everyday
we cant fix you
so take these
everyday we will
S E D A T E    Y O U

isn't it funny
when the world falls around
Y O U
isn't it funny
when the things crash around
Y O U
isn't it funny
when your life ends
S L O W L Y
isn't it funny
when the world ends slowly
and the people around you
D I S A P P E A R

today i turn
S W E E T   1 6
a special day for most
but never for
M E

like a
S T A R
i shine so brite
up in the sky
on completely clear
not cloudy
N I G H T S

here i sit
close to the ground
and like a tree i will
G R O W

i wish it didnt
H U R T
so **** bad
i wish i could have
A V O I D E D
this completely
i wish you didnt
H A V E
to leave me

i deserve
B E T T E R
than what
Y O U
treat me im a queen
but your no
K I N G

they say were
C R A Z Y
but they dont see the tears we
C R Y

form on my cheeks
just like
D I M O N D S
i shouldn't cry for you
but i cant help when i do
is when your words hurt the
M O S T
like when you finally said
G O O D B Y E
like to you i meant nothing
but these are not your
T E A R S

sometimes i stand tall like i cant be
B R O K E N
sometimes i slouch with the wait of the world on my
S H O U L D E R S
but when i was with you i felt like you were my
H E R O

what is
L O V E ?
its quite a funny
T H I N G
falling isnt ever
P A I N F U L
but falling out leaves you
B R O K E N
i wish i could say i never loved
H I M

hold my hand
because i need you
N O W
but you leave me behind
left in your rearview
M I R R O R
and now all i have
is the remnants of your
G H O S T