there's some doors i don't let anyone
O PE N
cause if i let them there's a chance that they would
L E A V E
and not come back and i know that i am
S C A R E D
so i leave this door locked
you might get other doors you can open but thid doors
N O T
i apologize if im to emotionally
D A M A G E D
but i built these walls when i was young
and i dont mean to shut people
O U T
but its a habit i've gotten used to
i only hope im not too far gone to
L E T    Y O U    I N

your not a person your a
S O U L   R I D E R
you ride so ******* a
H A P P Y
soul, until its so drained,
so broken, that the person is
L O S T
inside of there minds
but i will not let you ride my soul into
O B L I V I O N

why do i feel like
i always have to
J U S T I F Y
my pain to you, like
you get to hold some kind of
M O N O P O L Y
over my emotion
i guess its because i thought
if i was able to give away my
E M O T I O N S
then maybe it would
be easier for me to
B E A R
but now im stuck always
J U S T I F Y I N G
myself to you

tell me the truth
were you ever
H A P P Y
or was i the cause
of so much
P A I N
of so much
A N G U I S H
that even the smile i loved so much
soon became just as
F A K E
as your idea of parenting

Distorted view
Of my old
D R E A M S
A perfect image
Of my new
W O R R I E S
When I close my eyes
I see the faces of my
P A S T
When I open my eyes
I see the people of my
P R E S A N T

Even if we both break down
And I say I
H A T E   Y O U
and you say you
H A T E  M E
So you go to bed crazy
Even if me both break down
And you wish I you were
R I G H T
And I wish that I was
R I G H T
I know that you still
L O V E  M E
And you know I
L O V E   Y O U

Here we sit
Tangled in
C H A I N S
Forever stuck
In this never ending
N I G H T M I R E
For our lives are wrapped
And our souls are
B O U N D

Tell me your name
And I'll tell you my
D R E A M S
Tell me your aspersions
And I'll search for your
H E A R T
Tell me your happiest moments
And I will work to
R E C R E A T E
all of them

Were uncertainty
L I E S
there is truth
Were fear
C O N T R O L S
there is reunion
Were time
C R A W L S
there are hours
Were happiness
H I D E S
there are broken smiles

G O O D B Y E
for now my good old friends
S E E   Y O U
soon when summer ends
and the school year begins
and i bring more tears so
G O O D B Y E
my friends
dont miss me too
M U C H

thats what they call it
when the only parent
that you  have
L E F T
decides that you
are less important than the screen of a
C O M P U T E R
when he feels more like a
R O O M M A T E
than the man your supposed to love
than the man your supposed to look up to
more like a roommate than his role as a
F A T H E R

is it sad
that i was almost
J E A L O U S
or maybe it was
when her father
said with no prompting
I    L O V E   Y O U
or the time he
hugged her for no reason
maybe even the genuine
S M I L E S
on there faces
was what got me
because i knew i could
never have with
M Y   D A D

somebody send me a
L I F E L I N E
im sick and tired of just standing by and
W A I T I N G

somebody send me a
L I F E L I N E
cause im so over this cliche
L I F E

somebody send me a
L I F E L I N E
im so over all this wasted
TIME

somebody send me a
L I F E L I N E
cause i dont want to change the
W O R L D
but i dont want the world to change me
E I T H E R

your cologne
stained my memories
the sent was strong
and when i miss you most
i think of the musty  sent of your
C O L O G N E

in the pit
the old tree burns
your and in mine
an old song on our lips
i loved that old
A S H    W O O D   T R E E

when i was younger i let you steal my
L I G H T
but know that i have grown older i will take back my
L I G H T
and than you will be left in the
D A R K N E S S
like you had left me in

when you were younger
you were my
R E D G I A N T
and as you got older you became my
S U P E R N O V A
but as we met our teen years you became my
B L A C K H O L E
stealing my light
and leaveing me in darkness

the tree dips down
pulling at the grass
R E A C H I N G
to pull there roots
but like a willow i also
B R E A K
easily even though i seem strong
on the outside
i still lose my
B R A N C H E S
once in awhile
especially after a violent
S T O R M

i miss your calls
for months it seems
i forget that to you
i never have to be mean
i will never forget you
or your mother that i promise
but im
S O R R Y
to my forgotten lover
S O R R Y
im not good enough
S O R R Y
i just cant believe that anyone could love
my broken and damaged heart
my forgotten and lost soul
S O R R Y
to my unknowing lover

like a
S O N G
i sang with you
and with your
L Y R I C S
you convinced me of lies
but now your
N O T E S
are off key
and i cant hear the
M U S I C
that you began to play

loving him was as
B L U E
as the ocean
even more
G R E E N
than the tree tops
more sunny then the brightest shade of
Y E L L O W

loving him was as
P U R P L E
as the flower petals
even more
O R A N G E
then the citrus fruit
more deep then the deepest shades of
R E D

you kissed me like
F I R E
i cleansed  you like
W A T E R
but you crushed me like
E A R T H
and i blew you away like
W I N D

the summer sun
beats on my head
my shoulders burn
my arms sweat
but all i focus on
is the thought of losing
Y O U
because to me
the only way
i felt the summer breeze
was in your arms
you were my mountain
in the valley
and you will always be my
S U M M E R

i met you first in a class about angles
yo stole my breath
when yo smiled just like a
F O X
but like a fox you were cunning and cruel
i trusted your words
i yearned for your heart
but you left me there all alone in
G E O M E T R Y

close your eyes
listen close
can you hear
the call of the
C A R D I N A L

close your eyes
smell the air
can you smell
the sweet scents of
L E M O N G R A S S

close your eyes
touch the ground
can you feel
the sharp blades of
G R A S S

when i see your face
as you walk into the room
im always reminded
of what i used to mean
T O   Y O U

im sixteen
got a lot on my mind
i've got a few friends
that take up my
T I M E
people tell me i should smile
that im a pretty girl
its just taken me
A W H I L E
and im stressed out
but i cant describe
all the things i feel inside
but people say
it will all be good with
T I M E

all i need
is somebody who will stay
my heart holds this
L O V E
but it never lasts
is a good guy
to much for me to ask
is there something i should
C H A N G E
am i expecting to much
dear god why cant i ever find
L O V E

when i look back
on everyday
i try to find my
H I G H L I G H T E R S
i hope that one day
i will only have
H I G H L I G H T E R S

take a picture
of this perfect place
while were caught up
in everybody's empty
W O R D S
take a second
let it in
because nobody here needs your
G R A C E
take a glance
of a world
standing right infront of your
F A C E
because when you blink
years will pass
and no one will care for
L I F E

there is a tree
that lives on my
G R A S S
it was planted the day
that i was born
and during the
Y E A R S
it grew tall
with leaves bright
and dark bark protecting its
I N S I D E S
but as years went on
the insides rotted
O U T
until it fell to the ground
shattered into a million
P I E C E S
and i worry that soon
i will begin to
F A L L O W

there is a house
built out of
S T O N E
with wooden floors
wooden walls
and window cells
the tables and chairs are
W O R N
from all the settled dust
this is a place where i dont feel
A L O N E
this is a place where i can finally feel at
H O M E

im hanging on the ropes this time
i've been fighting all my
L I F E
for this. wish it could have gone
just a little
B E T T E R
than it did. but i guess i must
thank you for the happiest
Y E A R
of my life. even if you dragged me around
and i lost my will to
L I V E
i still owe you the happiest days
of my
L I F E
i just hope we can meet again next
Y E A R

how can you miss someone
that you've never met
cause im missing you
N O W
because im lost inside my mind again

how can you miss someone
you've never seen
is your hair red brown or green
and do you drink it straight
or like honey in your tea

because i need you. please
F I N D    M E

when i was younger
i never bothered
to plant any
R O O T S
i never built anything
to hold me down
so even if i don't say it
it still hurts me everytime you
fight with her
it feels like once i finally
get myself just a little
R O O T E D
it feels like
everytime i feel myself happy
you pull me
just to hurt me by
U P R O O T I N G
myself from where
i had worked to hard to
P L A N T

mine is full
of people whoes
N A M E S
i could never truly tell you
like bestie from elementary
<3 <3 <3
what does that even mean
oh thats right it means
that our perfect
F R I E N D S H I P
that we had as children
fizzed into nothing bye
the end of our sixth grade
Y E A R
i dont even know why people
feel that they need these
P H O N E S
because all its ever done is
ruin my little sliver of
H A P P I N E S S
i had left
but were still glued to these
P H O N E S

when i was younger
i watched the mountains
they surround the valley
making me feel
T R A P P E D
wrapping across the land
pulling me in with the curiosity but
K E E P I N G
me stuck in this valley
and keeping me
I S O L A T E D
from the rest of the world
that has pushed me out
and trap me in these
M O U N T A I N S

i wonder if you knew how old i was
i wonder if i told you now if you would even
C A R E
just because i was too small to decide on my own
you a third person let my mother decided this
F O R
me. a child a small girl with zero understanding
of what you were doing to me
i wonder if you know that i lost my virginity to you
a man i don't even know the name of
and in losing that i lost the little bit of
C H I L D H O O D
that i had left
because little do you know four years
was as long as i had
L I V E D

sometimes i couldn't hear myself
S C R E A M I N G
couldn't feel the pain you were
I N F L I C T I N G
like i had put myself away

and sometimes i catch myself
D R E A M I N G
couldn't stop the flashbacks from
C O M I N G   O N
like i wanted to feel something other than pain

everytime i look back on my
C H I L D H O O D
i see your face in the
B A C K G R O U N D
like out of the corner of my eye
i see your face lingering still
and know i know what to call it
just a little
S E C O N D H A N D    S M O K E

i have been told that
D I S T A N C E
is relative,
and relative
if you asked me right know
i would say that your relatively
F A R
and if you asked me just yesterday
i would have told you im relatively
C L O S E
to breaking down
because for now i feel so alone
i have missed all the elements
wishing they weren't so
D I S T A N T
from me now
i guess its to say
that i miss you most
at six feet
A P A R T
when i see you at my window
but cant drive you in my car
it feels like miles
with you six feet
A P A R T

salt water
stains my lips
my skin covered in a film of
D A R K
sand. my eyes trace your face
as i talk to you about the many
T I M E S
when i was younger
that i crashed on this old beach
tears glistening upon my cheek
as you remind me whats
A H E A D

his breath smelt of whisky
and his cloths of cigarette
S M O K E
his hands were rough
as he stole from my
B O D Y
and when he had taken
what he wanted
he left me in the
T R E E S

but you will never be alone
you promised me this
A L L
said you'd be with me from
D A Y   T I L L   N I G H T
and that you would hold me tight
but your words were always
L I E S
cause baby im still here

Like a song i hold you close
I listen to your words
Like there repeated
V E R S U S
Like if i listen long enough
Your words will become some kind
O F
Beat will emerge from them
Like even though you never said it
From your metaphors and versus
That will tell me that we still have
L O V E

Is it weird
That on the days i start to miss
Y O U
listen to the songs we used to listen to on
R E P E A T
Is it odd
That on the days i missed you the
M O S T
I pretend that your a ghost or you never really
There even though i know that's
R E A L I S T I C A L L Y
Incorrect
Is it wrong
That on the nights that i miss you,
D U R I N G
Every memory playback
There you are painting the stars of the
N I G H T

some times I can feel there
O P P R E S S I O N
it weighs me down like a thick
S Y R U P
the kind the use to suppress a
C O U G H
sticky so much so that it sticks to your
T H R O A T
closing it slowly so you can form no
W O R D S
but one day you will get to hear my
V O I C E
when that day comes i just hope you
L I S T E N

have you ever felt like your
F L O A T I N G
like in your a deep ocean not falling no
F L O A T I N G
like the wind could blow you any were just
F L O A T
away, like time is moving raging quickly
and no matter how used to it you are  you still hate
F L O A T I N G

the clock keep moving
but it feels as if time is
F R O Z E N
because when
i was younger
i that that
I S
how time worked
freezing sometimes
bt i learned that wasn't how the
T I M E
we are so used to works

when i was younger
i had a
D R E A M
i thought that one day
i would have the strength to
D O
something to stop him
but as i grew that dream seemed to
D I E

i see the stares
that people
T H R O W
at us when we have
panic attacks
i see
Y O U R
eyes darting
with judgement
and sometimes i wish
you would stop throwing judgement
long enough to find
K I N D N E S S