when i was a little bit younger
i was scared to fall in love
the idea of taking a
F A L L
the idea of loving someone
D E E P L Y
but then my eyes met his
his arms held me tightly
as we fell together
and in his eyes i found myself happily
D E S C E N D I N G

Loving him is like
Realizing everything you’ve ever needed
Is right in front of you
Loving him is like
Watching a flame dance
Even after the candles blown out
Loving him is like
Waking up from a story
That you thought you were stuck in
Loving him is like
Every piece of me finally
Coming back together
I swear that i will be loving him
F O R E V E R

every night i lay in bed
the brightest colors fill my head
all these dreams are keeping me awake
these are the things you say to me
and i will always want to be a part
because however big
how ever small promise that you'll bring me along
to the world you see
to the world you'll make
you could be right
you could be wrong
but dont leave me behind
we can share our dreams
until the world becomes changed by our hands

from walking and talking slow
to running fast and holding hands with you
from nervous eye contact
to staring straight at your eyes
and now we sleep with each other in our heads
holding on to pillows like we need someone there
thought it was crazy delusion in my head
thought you could never love me
but now im letting go
to everything that used to worry me
because in your eyes i find the ground
were i had only seen clouds

i wish it didnt hurt
i wish he hadn't broken me
i wish i could be perfect for you
ut even though i am not
you have taught me to be proud
to look in the mirror
and see the beauty within the shards
i didnt think it was possible
but in your eyes
i have found a mirror
that tells of unknown truths

i will never leave you baby
i will never walk out the door
for you i would sacrifice it all
for you i would stop the world from falling apart
and in your arms
the ones that comfort me
even in the darkest nights we will
D A N C E
in the
R A I N

loving him is like watching a bird fly over a stream
faster then the wind
as passionate as can be
i hope it never ends cause suddenly
i feel like im changing my whole life
switching paths that are ahead of me
forgetting him would be impossible
needing him is all i spend my time on my life on
and loving him is like touching fire
and touching him is like
realising all ive ever needed is right in front of me
memorize his eyes
memorize his touch every time i see him
i can never get enough
every feature every word like my favorite song
i just hope i can keep him on replay

when i was younger i was broken
in this brokenness i sat quietly
searching for the missing
P I E C E S
and as i seach the ground i find the piece of another
it belongs to you and as our hands meet
as we trade pieces of each other
i realize that i will only fully be collected
when i am built with our pieces
M I X E D

there's something about his eyes
everytime i look into them they sparkle
and each time i catch his gaze
its like i am waking up from years of being
U N C O N S C I O U S
like each time he puts his hand in mine
im finally waking up out of a coma
finally seeing what the world is like when your
C O N S C I O U S
finally seeing that the pain the anguish the disaster
that you had been putting yourself through
was only a dream you watched pass your eyes while
U N C O N S C I O U S
but when you finally come too
you are able to realize that here in the real world
you are only happy when you are
C O N S C I O U S

we are young
but in each other we found
L O V E
one that will last longer
than even the darkest
N I G H T S
or the coldest
W I N T E R S
because with you i know
i will never have to worry about
finding my one and only
F O R E V E R
because in you i've even found that kind of
L O V E

each time i see you
my heart melts a little bit more
i am yours to take

i am yours to hold
in your eyes i see your strength
each look completes me

when your playing guitar
i wish i was in your arms
as you draw me in

i am like a moth
drawn to you a dancing flame
your voice pulls me closer

each time i hear you
each dream you interrupt
seeing you is calm

hugging you is joy
each smile you pass me
growing across my lips

i cant ever leave you
for you are my one true love
our story has no end

i am here because i chose to
and so i will chose to stand by you
i know we can make it through
even if we both breakdown
we will rise from our ashes
because we can break through
and even if we cant find heaven
i want to walk through hell with you
and you will never be alone
because i swear to stand by you

i look in your eyes and im
H O P E L E S S
come as you are to me dont need
A P O L O G I Z E
i wish i could help you see your
W O R T H
im here for the bad days and your good i will walk through the
S T O R M
and i will do this all because i love you
U N C O N D I T I O N A L L Y

sometimes i let my mind wonder
to the times when i was less fortunate
to times that were much
D A R K E R
and then i see you
i think of your voice
just a subtle reminder that you are
T H E   R E A S O N

i wanna see the sunrise
i wanna climb the tallest peak
as long as its with
Y O U
i wanna see the sunset
i wanna watch the water ripple
i wanna find were the horizon ends
as long as you do
T O O
i wanna see the stars shine
i wanna lay in the soft grass
i wanna find out the truth
but only if im close to
Y O U
i wanna watch the cosmos
i wanna see the world
i wanna watch as we grow old
i want me and you close
but only if you do
TOO

L O V E
like a song we hear all to often
like a word that takes so little to say
but means so much
L O V E
each letter dripping with care
dripping with safety
each sylobole drawing it out making it sound like a promise
L O V E
but for me it is a promise
one that i will keep the best i can
because when i speak the words
I   L O V E   Y O U
what im really saying is that i will always be there for you

he waits at the bank
his hands on the dry dirt
she flows by him
in a river that jumps
and changes often
uncertain of her course
he reaches for her hand
for he is rooted in the ground
and she has never seen roots before
as she had always traveled
but only with the water
her ever changing ways interested him
her lack of plans made him question his
she found his steady hand calming
and in his touch she found
that even her waters so unpredictable
could be calmed even for a second

the letters were lies
but your words broke down my
D E F E N S E S
and you built me up with all of these
P A R A G R A P H S
but looking back on them
they seemed more like pages
B U R N I N G
with your lies
with your broken and shattered
P R O M I S E S
and so im erasing myself from your
S T O R Y L IN E
and with the chapters i was included im watching them
B U R N

when my years catch up with me
R E M E M B E R    M E
though my days grow numbered now
R E M E M B E R    M E
when my tears dry on the ground
R E M E M B E R    M E
even if i disappear please promise you will
R E M E M B E R    M E

if you got 20 minutes
if i had 30 minutes
i could change your mind
i could make you understand make you
T H I N K
if you sat down and took the time to listen
if i could get you to hear my reason
because if i told you anything
just a sample of a long story
A B O U T
me, if i let you in
if you let me show you a clip
of what the people around you have gone through
maybe if i could get you to pull
Y O U R
head of the pedestal you put it on
if you could stand in the shoes
of the people you dont even understand you hurt
with the horrible statements that you say are just
W O R D S

i am a strong believer that there are 5 steps to drowning
S T E P 1
panic: at this point you flail your arms reach skyward
pray that a god saves you
pray someone saves you
S T E P 2
tired: at this point you have used all your energy
your adrenalin has run out
your will to keep trying has run out
S T E P 3
fall: at this point you feel the water slip past your fingertips
feel the water engulf you
feel the waves pushing you down farther
S T E P 4
calm: at this point you realize how beautiful the water is
watch as everything slows down
maybe a fish slowly passes you
maybe a snail slowly crawls toward you
S T E P 5
burn: at this point you start to acknowledge a strong burn in your chest
you realize your not breathing
you take a deep breath
you embrace the water as your lungs fill
you close your eyes as the water takes yet another ****

our government expects us to work for
T H E M
we pay there taxes on food
on tampons on water
yet when we say those things should be
F R E E
you act as if our wrong as if its not our
H U M A N   R I G H T
to eat to keep ourselves clean to stay
A L I V E
and you shun those who cant pay your
T A X E S
as if there *****
as if there some kind of a different
B R E E D
i guess i just dont understand why they expect
U S
to work so hard for the things that are
N E C E S S A R Y
to every living being

my english teacher says with a smile
like its a fun topic
like half the class doesn't struggles with seasonal
D E P R E S S I O N

lets learn about ****** assault
my english teacher says with a smile
like its a fun topic
like half the class won't laugh and act like its some
J O K E

lets learn about ****** assault
my english teacher says with a smile
like its a fun topic
like half the class isn't almost in tears with the flooding
M E M O R I E S

lets learn about ****** assault
my english teacher says with a smile
like its a fun topic
like half the class wont watch taking notes on what words trigger
W H O

so lets learn about ****** assault
even though half of this class
will never understand what its like
to watch every piece of them ripped apart
what its like to feel the tears but not to let the leave this
B O D Y

when we rule the
W O R L D
i almost wonder if we will leave the world in
A S H E S
or if we will grow the planet and move us
F O R W A R D
i suppose it all on the shoulders
of the people we let
R U L E

breath in the crisp fall air
ignore the memories that only surface in the
C O L D
try focusing on the nip on your cheeks
not listening to the bitter screams
echoing in the dark and
C O L D
fall nights,
lick your chapped  lips
listen to the rustle of leaves
not the men not even
the hands that always grabbed me from the
C O L D

seasonal depression
C H E C K
tighten the belt across your chest
3 knoches please
anxiety you dont understand
C H E C K
tighten the belt across your chest
12 knoches please

i make you tighten them
because your different
that's not normal
and i being society
will judge you cruelly
because you arent like them
so how many
C H E C K S
do you have

T H E S E    W O R D S
spill of my tongue
like promises that could never be kept
T H E S E    W O R D S
run out of my mouth
like pain that could never be properly explained
T H E S E    W O R D S
flow past my lips
like the screams that escaped my mind but couldn't be voiced
T H E S E    W O R D S
stick in my throat
like the story that i kept hidden in the back of my mind
T H E S E    W O R D S
are silenced
by the men who take everything from the women
who suffer everything for the love of a father

i know the thing i've been through are
H A R D   T O   H E A R
trust me i can tell when the words slowly
P A S S   M Y   L I P S
as my throat swells until it feels like i
C A N ' T    B R E A T H
the words slur in my brain as i try to form
S E N T A N C E S
as i try to explain myself t a person who
D O E S N ' T   C A R E
so yes i know that this is
H A R D   T O   H E A R

rewrite the memories
reword the story
of my past of my future
if i could change anything to
R E W R I T E
the story of you & I

C H A P T E R 1
we start by introducing a woman
shes battered and bruised
but her eyes are bright
her face still damp with tears
as she runs into an apartment
and a man gives her a room
because he pities the young girl
C H A P T E R 2
the girl cleans up in a half bath
she smiles at her reflection sinisterly
and the reader begins to see that shes not what she seems
she offers to make him food
he smiles and excepts
noticing that after she cleaned up was quite beautiful
she cooked at the stove
and as she put a soup in a bowl
she poured a large amounts of arson
C H A P T E R 3
the man eats and is jovial
she also smiles watching him
watching as he laps up the drops of her soup
we begin to see a memory of hers
a man perhaps her father an empty bottle in his hand
his face is contorted with uncontrolled anger
he hits her until shes unconscious
he then proceeds to **** her
as she falls in and out of consciousness
C H A P T E R 4
we see the man falling very sick
he stumbles to his room sweat beads on his face
he excuses himself to bed and smiles at her
she smiles back but her face isnt a normal smile
he lies in his bed sweating crying
his heart begins to slow as she walks into the room
she watches until his last breath
as he begged her to call for help
C H A P T E R 5
she cleans the entire house
and takes his car to the river
he is sitting in the back eyes open wide
and still glistening with drops of old sweat
she drives up the dock
putting all the windows down
she hits the gas and lodges it down with a brick
like a seal on this mans fate
as she swims out of the window
C H A P T E R 6
seven bodies at the bottom of the river
each with a brick on the petal
each man killed with arson
each with a small heart carved on there wrist
she was a killer and the scene ends
with her ending yet another mans life
on the last page of the story
our novel asks you a question
was her killing justified
could she say she was a product of her surroundings
was the blame on her father
who showed her that men were untrustworthy
or perhaps her mother who was never there
not even to comfort her as she cried to sleep
or do you believe that she was just a
M O N S T E R

if you had the courage to
A S K   M E
the questions that are swelling in your
T H R O A T
maybe you could understand
the past i've worked so hard to
L O S E
and each time you try to refrain from
A S K I N G
i feel like the lumps in my
T H R O A T
feel like there growing until i begin to
L O S E
so please dont pity me but dont think you cant
A S K  M E

sometimes i catch myself
D A N C I N G
while i hum a unone
S O N G
it seems to me that i am dancing to an
I N V I S I B L E
rythme has a quick
B E A T

W H I S P E R
can you hear her
can you listen if she calls her
dreaming of being
C L O S E
to the people that stand
just far off the
E D G E
but far enough to keep them
a little too far out of
R E A C H

when i was younger
i watched the birds and the bugs
and i loved the way they looked so
L I V E L Y
but now i wonder if
i admired them for the
H A P P I N E S S
i craved

like a ***
Just before the water
B O I L S
Or a person
Just before they
E X P L O D E
It feels like
My brain is about to
E M P L O D E
Because I'm expected
To smile like nothing is
W R O N G
But I have to
Sit in the living room and try not to
S I M M E R

we wait till
M I D N I G H T
and sneak out the
W I N D O W
and pray we dont get
C A U G H T
as we search for the
C O N S T E L LA T I O N S
and i pray that the sun will never
R I S E
so tat we may stay here in this
M O M E N T
forever, never looking back to our stressful
H O M E S

in and out
the suns setting
Q U I C K L Y
in and out
i worry that hes
B A C K
in and out
like a replaying
M O V I E
in and out
i wish i could forget
H I M
in and out
i remind myself while having a
P A N I C    A T T A C K
in and out
because i know that i have to catch my
B R E A T H E

my skin was
B U R N T
in the bright summer
S U N
and it amazed me how yours
T A N N E D
but i suppose you were just a tad more
S U N    K I S S E D
than i would ever get

like the blue summer
S K Y
your eyes gleamed in the
S U N L I G H T
but when the sun began to set the
M O O N
did not reflect the person you actually
W E R E

S M I L E
for the picture
wear a nice
D R E S S
wont you pose with your
B R O T H E R
and be a good
S I S T E R
but when the pictures are done our
B R U I S E S
will begin to
S U R F A C E

have you ever been in a house wit so much
T E N S I O N
that you feel like the ceiling is
C A V I N G     I N
like the walls are resting on your
S H O U L D E R S
and you cant just
L E T   I T    G O
even though everyone wants you to
and you feel like your on the verge of
E X P L O D I N G

bring me home
when the air grows to
C O L D
take me in
when the grounds covered in
S N O W
let me snuggle
in a warm
B L A N K E T
soak in this craziness
that has only just
B E G U N
because as winter clouds
cover summer
M O O N S
i want to be here
and remembered by
Y O U

like a pen
dropped from your
P O C K E T
like a notebook
that's fallen out of a
B A C K P A C K

you left me on the
S T R E E T
and i wished i could of
seen this when i first
M E T
you, but i guess you can never
truly tell how a person
is actually on the
I N S I D E

sometimes i wish people could
S E E
all of the pain that im
E X P E R I E N C I N G
i wish they could
F E E L
the hurt i have gone
T H R O U G H
because maybe if they
U N D E R S T O O D
the world i have lived in
they could see the live i hated
L I V I N G    I N

your faking it
cant you be
H A P P I E R
your only doing this for
A T T E N T I O N
you can change it when there
A R O U N D

but he doesn't see the hours spent
C R Y I N G
i am constantly trying to look
H A P P I E R
i wish no one would see me or give me
A T T E N T I O N
and he doesnt know that i am
F A K E
around them

when i was a kid
i had a large
D R E A M   C A T C H E R
it sat on my wall
and i gave it all of my
A S P I R A T I O N S
and yesterday i found it in a box
that was filled with old pictures
and when i saw this
D R E A M
catcher i hung it in my window
to remember the times
that were much
S I M P L E R

as a kid i crawled over the
C O R D S
and now it seams i must walk on there
L I N E S
because if i step to far off
a bombing voice reminds me not to shake the
B O A T
because if we shake the boat
we will fall into the
M O A T
and so i walk on the cords and pray i dont
F A L L

i used to have a box of
M A T C H E S
i used to feel like i was burning from the
I N S I D E     O U T
so i thought if i kept the matches
in my pocket i could control the
F I R E
and when it got to intense i could blow out the
M A T C H