i know the thing i've been through are H A R D T O H E A R trust me i can tell when the words slowly P A S S M Y L I P S as my throat swells until it feels like i C A N ' T B R E A T H the words slur in my brain as i try to form S E N T A N C E S as i try to explain myself t a person who D O E S N ' T C A R E so yes i know that this is H A R D T O H E A R
C H A P T E R 1 we start by introducing a woman shes battered and bruised but her eyes are bright her face still damp with tears as she runs into an apartment and a man gives her a room because he pities the young girl C H A P T E R 2 the girl cleans up in a half bath she smiles at her reflection sinisterly and the reader begins to see that shes not what she seems she offers to make him food he smiles and excepts noticing that after she cleaned up was quite beautiful she cooked at the stove and as she put a soup in a bowl she poured a large amounts of arson C H A P T E R 3 the man eats and is jovial she also smiles watching him watching as he laps up the drops of her soup we begin to see a memory of hers a man perhaps her father an empty bottle in his hand his face is contorted with uncontrolled anger he hits her until shes unconscious he then proceeds to **** her as she falls in and out of consciousness C H A P T E R 4 we see the man falling very sick he stumbles to his room sweat beads on his face he excuses himself to bed and smiles at her she smiles back but her face isnt a normal smile he lies in his bed sweating crying his heart begins to slow as she walks into the room she watches until his last breath as he begged her to call for help C H A P T E R 5 she cleans the entire house and takes his car to the river he is sitting in the back eyes open wide and still glistening with drops of old sweat she drives up the dock putting all the windows down she hits the gas and lodges it down with a brick like a seal on this mans fate as she swims out of the window C H A P T E R 6 seven bodies at the bottom of the river each with a brick on the petal each man killed with arson each with a small heart carved on there wrist she was a killer and the scene ends with her ending yet another mans life on the last page of the story our novel asks you a question was her killing justified could she say she was a product of her surroundings was the blame on her father who showed her that men were untrustworthy or perhaps her mother who was never there not even to comfort her as she cried to sleep or do you believe that she was just a M O N S T E R
if you had the courage to A S K M E the questions that are swelling in your T H R O A T maybe you could understand the past i've worked so hard to L O S E and each time you try to refrain from A S K I N G i feel like the lumps in my T H R O A T feel like there growing until i begin to L O S E so please dont pity me but dont think you cant A S K M E
W H I S P E R can you hear her can you listen if she calls her dreaming of being C L O S E to the people that stand just far off the E D G E but far enough to keep them a little too far out of R E A C H
when i was younger i watched the birds and the bugs and i loved the way they looked so L I V E L Y but now i wonder if i admired them for the H A P P I N E S S i craved
like a *** Just before the water B O I L S Or a person Just before they E X P L O D E It feels like My brain is about to E M P L O D E Because I'm expected To smile like nothing is W R O N G But I have to Sit in the living room and try not to S I M M E R
we wait till M I D N I G H T and sneak out the W I N D O W and pray we dont get C A U G H T as we search for the C O N S T E L LA T I O N S and i pray that the sun will never R I S E so tat we may stay here in this M O M E N T forever, never looking back to our stressful H O M E S
in and out the suns setting Q U I C K L Y in and out i worry that hes B A C K in and out like a replaying M O V I E in and out i wish i could forget H I M in and out i remind myself while having a P A N I C A T T A C K in and out because i know that i have to catch my B R E A T H E
my skin was B U R N T in the bright summer S U N and it amazed me how yours T A N N E D but i suppose you were just a tad more S U N K I S S E D than i would ever get
like the blue summer S K Y your eyes gleamed in the S U N L I G H T but when the sun began to set the M O O N did not reflect the person you actually W E R E
S M I L E for the picture wear a nice D R E S S wont you pose with your B R O T H E R and be a good S I S T E R but when the pictures are done our B R U I S E S will begin to S U R F A C E
have you ever been in a house wit so much T E N S I O N that you feel like the ceiling is C A V I N G I N like the walls are resting on your S H O U L D E R S and you cant just L E T I T G O even though everyone wants you to and you feel like your on the verge of E X P L O D I N G
bring me home when the air grows to C O L D take me in when the grounds covered in S N O W let me snuggle in a warm B L A N K E T soak in this craziness that has only just B E G U N because as winter clouds cover summer M O O N S i want to be here and remembered by Y O U
like a pen dropped from your P O C K E T like a notebook that's fallen out of a B A C K P A C K
you left me on the S T R E E T and i wished i could of seen this when i first M E T you, but i guess you can never truly tell how a person is actually on the I N S I D E
sometimes i wish people could S E E all of the pain that im E X P E R I E N C I N G i wish they could F E E L the hurt i have gone T H R O U G H because maybe if they U N D E R S T O O D the world i have lived in they could see the live i hated L I V I N G I N
your faking it cant you be H A P P I E R your only doing this for A T T E N T I O N you can change it when there A R O U N D
but he doesn't see the hours spent C R Y I N G i am constantly trying to look H A P P I E R i wish no one would see me or give me A T T E N T I O N and he doesnt know that i am F A K E around them
when i was a kid i had a large D R E A M C A T C H E R it sat on my wall and i gave it all of my A S P I R A T I O N S and yesterday i found it in a box that was filled with old pictures and when i saw this D R E A M catcher i hung it in my window to remember the times that were much S I M P L E R
as a kid i crawled over the C O R D S and now it seams i must walk on there L I N E S because if i step to far off a bombing voice reminds me not to shake the B O A T because if we shake the boat we will fall into the M O A T and so i walk on the cords and pray i dont F A L L
i used to have a box of M A T C H E S i used to feel like i was burning from the I N S I D E O U T so i thought if i kept the matches in my pocket i could control the F I R E and when it got to intense i could blow out the M A T C H
there's some doors i don't let anyone O PE N cause if i let them there's a chance that they would L E A V E and not come back and i know that i am S C A R E D so i leave this door locked you might get other doors you can open but thid doors N O T i apologize if im to emotionally D A M A G E D but i built these walls when i was young and i dont mean to shut people O U T but its a habit i've gotten used to i only hope im not too far gone to L E T Y O U I N
your not a person your a S O U L R I D E R you ride so ******* a H A P P Y soul, until its so drained, so broken, that the person is L O S T inside of there minds but i will not let you ride my soul into O B L I V I O N
why do i feel like i always have to J U S T I F Y my pain to you, like you get to hold some kind of M O N O P O L Y over my emotion i guess its because i thought if i was able to give away my E M O T I O N S then maybe it would be easier for me to B E A R but now im stuck always J U S T I F Y I N G myself to you
tell me the truth were you ever H A P P Y or was i the cause of so much P A I N of so much A N G U I S H that even the smile i loved so much soon became just as F A K E as your idea of parenting
Distorted view Of my old D R E A M S A perfect image Of my new W O R R I E S When I close my eyes I see the faces of my P A S T When I open my eyes I see the people of my P R E S A N T
Even if we both break down And I say I H A T E Y O U and you say you H A T E M E So you go to bed crazy Even if me both break down And you wish I you were R I G H T And I wish that I was R I G H T I know that you still L O V E M E And you know I L O V E Y O U
Tell me your name And I'll tell you my D R E A M S Tell me your aspersions And I'll search for your H E A R T Tell me your happiest moments And I will work to R E C R E A T E all of them
Were uncertainty L I E S there is truth Were fear C O N T R O L S there is reunion Were time C R A W L S there are hours Were happiness H I D E S there are broken smiles
G O O D B Y E for now my good old friends S E E Y O U soon when summer ends and the school year begins and i bring more tears so G O O D B Y E my friends dont miss me too M U C H
thats what they call it when the only parent that you have L E F T decides that you are less important than the screen of a C O M P U T E R when he feels more like a R O O M M A T E than the man your supposed to love than the man your supposed to look up to more like a roommate than his role as a F A T H E R
is it sad that i was almost J E A L O U S or maybe it was when her father said with no prompting I L O V E Y O U or the time he hugged her for no reason maybe even the genuine S M I L E S on there faces was what got me because i knew i could never have with M Y D A D
when i was younger i let you steal my L I G H T but know that i have grown older i will take back my L I G H T and than you will be left in the D A R K N E S S like you had left me in
when you were younger you were my R E D G I A N T and as you got older you became my S U P E R N O V A but as we met our teen years you became my B L A C K H O L E stealing my light and leaveing me in darkness
the tree dips down pulling at the grass R E A C H I N G to pull there roots but like a willow i also B R E A K easily even though i seem strong on the outside i still lose my B R A N C H E S once in awhile especially after a violent S T O R M
i miss your calls for months it seems i forget that to you i never have to be mean i will never forget you or your mother that i promise but im S O R R Y to my forgotten lover S O R R Y im not good enough S O R R Y i just cant believe that anyone could love my broken and damaged heart my forgotten and lost soul S O R R Y to my unknowing lover
like a S O N G i sang with you and with your L Y R I C S you convinced me of lies but now your N O T E S are off key and i cant hear the M U S I C that you began to play
the summer sun beats on my head my shoulders burn my arms sweat but all i focus on is the thought of losing Y O U because to me the only way i felt the summer breeze was in your arms you were my mountain in the valley and you will always be my S U M M E R
i met you first in a class about angles yo stole my breath when yo smiled just like a F O X but like a fox you were cunning and cruel i trusted your words i yearned for your heart but you left me there all alone in G E O M E T R Y
im sixteen got a lot on my mind i've got a few friends that take up my T I M E people tell me i should smile that im a pretty girl its just taken me A W H I L E and im stressed out but i cant describe all the things i feel inside but people say it will all be good with T I M E
all i need is somebody who will stay my heart holds this L O V E but it never lasts is a good guy to much for me to ask is there something i should C H A N G E am i expecting to much dear god why cant i ever find L O V E