i sit in a room
with a parent i barely know
addicted to the pills
scent of cigarette
you promise you will come
but then a minute before
you have some crazy excuse
they say the high is fun
im not laugh am i
but you didn't care
you were to busy
popping your pills
but you left us behind  
those pills got you
didn't they
cause you cant stop
popping your pills

a box of memories
some good
some bad
a shoe box full
some sad
some joyful
a box of what i can't remember
some painful
some lovely
a shoe box spilling over
some heart breaking
some heart mending

once again
i tried to hard
to pull you in
and now im scared

your tongue
spoke lies
your humor
was quite dry

but once again
i broke myself
on a hopeless sliver
of how you spoke

your eyes
were dark
your lips
were soft

never did i think
you would leave me
here in this dark

here i sit
at a table of wood
listening to you
your lectures long
and i don't learn
my eyes move around the room
trying to make out
the reason i need to know
things like
writing essays about short stories
how to use a 3D printer
and algebra
yet you cant teach
taxes
money saving
and how to live in our world
these are skills i found i need
but you cant prepare us

here he stand a hopeless boy
on this bridge with a lake
bursting full of orange coy
he looks up praying for a break
my eyes met his
the sorrow disappeared
as his hands slipped
as he fell back
tears popped from my eyes
i knew then he was gone
splash as he hit the ground
and all i could see was the
bridge

isn't it lovely
sitting here alone
isn't it lovely
listening to you yell
isn't it lovely
seeing you in pain
isn't it lovely
wasting my life away
isn't it lovely
crying every night
isn't it lovely
in this empty house that feels full
isn't it lovely
seeing happy faces around me
isn't it lovely
fakeing my joy
isn't it lovely
feeling my heart break
isn't it lovely
laughing through my pain

isn't it lovely
the questions that i ask you

faster and faster
don't trip up
don't slow down
don't slip up

roots pop up
and weave through
dont catch your foot
or you will fall too

dont look back
it will only slow you down
dont give up
though your heart pounds hard

my heart beats fast
the concrete is cold
my legs feel like lead
the air is bitter
my head burns
the blood is hot
my feet are throbbing
the footsteps get closer
my shoulders are heavy
the roots stick out of the ground
my foot catches
the mud fills my mouth
my chest heaves
the footsteps stop next to me
my eyes squeeze shut
the breeze is calm
my hands push up
the sun sets slowly
my legs won't lift
the footsteps were a man
my shirt pulls around my neck
the man drags me to my feet
my feet slips from under
the man picks me up
my legs swing quick
the man grunts but he still hangs on
my head feels light
the man smiles sinisterly
my mind goes black

I stand in a room
With a glass window
I look straight out
And see a bright blue                                          bird

Its wings are ruffled
Its beak is broken
Its claws are raw
But still it sits                                                      on a

small brown wooden
piece of branch                                                    
That it may call
A cute little                                                    perch

Drip drip drop
Water leaks
From a low saging celling
Of old rotting wood
Drips onto the floor
Of light brown wood
With large dark knots
With warping and rotting
Long strands of bright green
Ivy crawls through
A window broken in
With yellowing shards
Sitting restlessly
On the floor
The hard sent of dust
Fills the air
Mixed with a slight musty tang
The room is huge
And though empty
It seems full with
all of the words
I could have said

jars are full
peaches and apples
smiles are seen
laughs of the children
then like a knife cutting through the wind
silence in the trees
not even a mouse scurries
the wolfs are hungry
the wolfs are angry
the wolfs will feast
on the children's  
bones and blood
the wolfs don't care about the summer
the one they planed
the wolfs care of only one thing
and that's there stomachs
that rumble hungrily

pants on backwards
bedhead life
messy bun
pain in head
hangover naps
shirt inside out
everyone's been there
on the walk of shame

you don't know
and i dont always say it
i know i don't make it clear
you don't understand
and i don't say it
but you are my roots
you are my soul
you don't know
how much i need you
maybe i should say it more
because i love you
and you need to know
what you mean to me

most people see me as
a happy person because
i laugh easily,
i smile a lot,
i joke a lot.

but deep down
in my heart,
i am fragile,
i can get hurt easily,
but i choose to not
show it to the world.

instead of being sad,
i choose to laugh to cover it.
maybe you can call me
"the queen of the mask"

by this,
you can tell
that most of the time
when I'm laughing,
I'm not really laughing,
i was trying so hard to hide
my sad

She stood on the bridge
In silence and fear
For the demons of darkness
Had driven her here

They cut her heart
Right out of her chest
Making her believe
That the demons knew best

They were always there
Sometimes just out of sight
Waiting in the background
Till the time was right

These demons were destructive
Knocking down the life she knew
Hating everything about her
She hated herself too

These demons can't be seen
But they're far from fairy tales
They live inside your mind
Their evilness prevails

So on the bridge she stood
About to end the fight
Then she stopped and thought
I'll fight them one more night

they think were deaf
they stare
they point
they laugh
they think we don't know who they speak of
they speak
there rude
they act as if were nothing
why ? you may ask
were dramatic
were crazy
we love recklessly
but we hear
we know
thus the reason
our pillows are soaked
with tears and the warmth
of a broken dream

you hurt me
but im still here
you scared me
but i will survived
you stole my innocence
but i will rise
before i was afraid
but know i fear no more

you broke my heart
but im not dead
you killed my dreams
but i can make more
you haunt my mind
but i can forget
before i was afraid
but know i fear no more

it is sad
that some people
aren't waiting for
there happy
ending anymore
there just waiting
for the end

my palms are pure
my heart is strong
my tears are clear
my head is smart
my hands are tough
my scares are hidden
this is who we pretend to be

you are her thief
stealing her heart

you brake her down
you make yourself know

inside her head
she is broken in your bed

you say your full
of all your strength

you say your full
of all your hope

you say your full
of all your joy

but when you find a self conscious girl
you brake them down and take advantage

of what they are and who they where
you take away there innocence

leaving them in one crazy
messed up ball

you take away all of there strength
replacing it with strength your own

diamond eyes
porcelain skin
rose colored lips
long black lashes
lined lips
skinny body
broken dreams
starving stomach
push it off
is it worth it
will they notice
is this beauty?
i don't know

who to blame
for this endless game

a deceased girls head
far from her body dead

an ongoing cold case
that no one can solve in the human race

unidentified soul
drifts out like dust of coal

shes never solved
just left behind and never resolved

once i had a wild dream
that i was fine and my life was gleam

once i thought i lived happily
but i was wrong about my life's happenings

once i was broken down
but then i build myself up on my own

you were fine in the beginning
excited and fun
i wanted you there
when i grew old
i wanted you to see me grow
at graduations were you'd be proud
and a sixteenth birthday
you would never forget
but now your gone
and i cant handle it

his name was jack
a hyper breed at that
he taught me love
he taught me strength
but when i needed him most he was gone in a blink
the  words he left inside may head
still stands there like a useless thread
his word were strong
but hard to hear
he said to me im sorry dear
my job is done
and so i must be gone
i have changed your life whats done is done
i do not mean to cause you tears but i must go
for my job is done here

fear you dont own me
there aint no space in this story
i know you try to control me
but i am brave
i am strong
i will be the only one
standing when the fights over
if there's anybody out there
whos got no time
whos done with fear
and reading this
lay your fears at the place it rises from
because i know
you are brave
strong and
beautiful
because if you let fear win
if you let fear show
than you have lost all battles

its crazy
its fantastic
its kind
its exciting
its distracting

but there's only one person
i trust enough to go on this journey with you

i know that you will be by my side
i know you will never leave me in the dirt
i know you will care
i know you will stay with me
through good and bad

i don't wanna spend my life wasting
i don't wanna miss my chance
i don't wanna be the one broken
i don't wanna always be hoping
i don't wanna miss my life waiting

cuz when i look back and see nothing
cuz when i look back im nothing
cuz when i look back im wasting
cuz when i look back im broken
cuz when i look back im trying

i think i fell in love
i think i let my heart go
i think i love him
i think he changed me
i think i'm beginning to open up

have you ever met someone
who at first glance
your not attracted to
but when you talk
and with every word
every smile
every laugh
they become more beautiful
until you can't believe
there was a moment
they didn't think they were

it hurts
       to know
that you

                        will never
                               look at me
                         the way
                                     i look at
                                         you

when i get like this
             the way i am
i dont wanna talk to people
i wont respond to your texts
           or emails
                or your messages
not because i dont wanna talk to you
but because i dont wanna talk

i hope
you see the
light
in every day
no matter how
small,
and you can fall
in love with it
even in the
dark

mirror mirror on the wall
was i always meant to fall
though roses can be white
i see my dying light
silvers sweet but unforgiving bite
she'll ask why but no answer is found
and we'll rot deep beneath the ground