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I've tried to float
I've gown through the fall out
When all of it hurts
Why would I try now
How do I smile
How do I let go
When it tends to simmer
It tends to run out
Right when I need
Just a bit more ill keep on pushing
Till I get to the good part
Till I find what the point is of this world
I met a man who made them question
His constant murmuring
Drumming through his head
Thinking no one gets me
Thinking he's alone in his mind
But I hear the way he writes novels
His voice painting cathedrals
His mind crafting fantasy's
I see the wall that he's been writing on
The prison he's built for himself
The words his only escape
I hope he knows
Thats some people see him
Even if he dashes away
Sometimes I get in my head
Start to question if
I should've left even you
But that house was so small
This worlds so big
I'm sorry I left you behind
But I'm so glad I did
Start to a new year
This used to come
with so much confidence
Have your yearly set goals
Something to work towards as you go
I've never felt so ******* alone
When I can't find my purpose
Can't find my place
Looking in different doorways
Avoiding when there slammed in my face
Wish I could say I'm happy
Sometimes it feels like I never was
But I'm glad you came
It hurts so much less
Sometimes when the snow falls
When winter truly takes hold
I think about those nights I spent
Loving you
Even though it hurt me
I miss you when it's cold
Even if you where always passive
And I was getting carpal tunnel
From trying to keep holding on
And it makes me sad
The way I left you but I'm glad I did
It was for the best
Melanie Jackson Dec 2024
Denial is a river
And baby I've drowned at the bottom
Watched it flow above my head
Watch the bubbles leave my mouth

Denial is a river
She ***** you down deep
Leaves you sure your fine at the bottom
After all you can see even if it's blurry

Denial is a river
I'm learning how to swim with the tide
Learning how to tread the water
So maybe I won't drown
Melanie Jackson Dec 2024
These woes are my canvas baby
Do you get what I means
These words have built my army
Filled with my colors and dreams
I try to rest easy
But they wake me up early
They bounce around me restless
Till they feel like there honest
Even when there spiraling out of control
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