Denial is a river
And baby I've drowned at the bottom
Watched it flow above my head
Watch the bubbles leave my mouth

Denial is a river
She ***** you down deep
Leaves you sure your fine at the bottom
After all you can see even if it's blurry

Denial is a river
I'm learning how to swim with the tide
Learning how to tread the water
So maybe I won't drown

These woes are my canvas baby
Do you get what I means
These words have built my army
Filled with my colors and dreams
I try to rest easy
But they wake me up early
They bounce around me restless
Till they feel like there honest
Even when there spiraling out of control

Why does christmas eve
Always feel so heavy
Why do I always feel like I'm waiting
For the shoe to drop because
Christmas was never about your kid
It was about the women
Who'd ruin it

Tie me a tournaiquet
Around my heart
Before you stab me in the back
Maybe then I won't fall so hard
Bleeding out in your hands
It feels like I've neglected my blood
Forgotten about the body it ran through
**** trying to save you
While I bleed out on your shoe
So tie me a tourniquet
Around my heart
Before you stab me in back

I don't want to die
So glad I could never take it myself
But why does it sound so peaceful
six feet deep
Surrounded by earth and worms
My lungs collapsing as they eat
My lips never parting for another breath
Instead being parted by deep tree roots
Stealing the life I never had
They'd probably be more useful then I

I don't hate christmas
I don't want people confused
But when this time of year
Feels so bitter sweet
When it brings up
so many hard memories
How do I show you I don't hate christmas
When my cheeks are tear soaked
When I'm still trapped in a room
With my father's fist going in the drywall
Feeling the way it vibrated next to my face while he screamed
Look what you make me do
Like I'm the reason
he never controlled himself
I promise I don't hate christmas
But I can tell you it's been hard not to