I live in barbed wire
caged like an animal
restricted by my fears
that rise above me like fences
blocking off the world
from my insecurity
the tears I cry soak the wires
I hope one day they rust so bad
that I'm forced to be exposed

I live on an ocean
Flowing with the waves
Watching as they crash on the coast
Watching as you run to meet them
Connecting your world with mine
You grass
Your green
Your smiles
Your dreams
Your sandy beaches
Running to meet
my water
My blue
My fear
My destruction
My coral reefs
I watch gliding toward you slowly
Until there is no space between us
Not even molecules of air
Until ocean and earth are one
Like we always should be

i think i lost myself
by chasing you
a person who never cared
about losing me

I think the lesson I learned
while trying to avoid you
and your words
the pain you cause everyone around you
that its easier sometimes to just lay in bed
and hope you fall asleep
before you fall completely apart

i wish i could lose the weight
I wish I could fast
I wish I could diet
I wish I could do better
and I try
and I push
and I work
and I lose
and I gain
and I ***** up
I work hard so so hard
and yet your never happy
its never enough

I lose
pounds,
patience,
time,
energy,
love,
hope,
dreams,
all because you think that's the best way
to love me

i wasnt your first choice
hell i probably wasnt even your last
i never will be
even though your the one
who chose to have me
even if im not the boy you wanted
or the smart you thought i could be
you gave birth to me
i will always be your baby