why am I broken
when did I get flaws
why do you treat me
like I don't deserve a shred of worth
promise I'm not a fake ******* up lost cause
I know I'm human
but you treat me like something else
and I know I'm human
so why do you treat me like I'm something else
I've always been there for you
even when think don't think it is true
I helped out
I watched them cry
I dried their tears
but now I know there's no one here that even cares

I, as a person, knew nothing
about our kind
about how we work
how are brains speak to our bones
how are minds can fracture
that was until
I tore apart a human for myself
disected the body
disected there minds
and now I understand
humans can never be made sense of

tears stinging my eyes
your voice a shrill memory
playing over and over
like a skipping vinyl
they way you seethed
the spittle flying through your lips
"don't scream at me"
coming out at only a whisper
as I'm drowned out
by your breaking vocals
"your not here"
is all I can scream into the darkness
but it never heard never true
because when I leave this room
I will still be haunted by your memory

sometimes i feel like screaming
when the anger boils over
when you blame me
when you blame him
because you refuse
no matter what the case is
to take responsibility
for your mistakes

you reminded my heart
what it felt like to be loved
i held you too tight
and you promised
to never let me go
But then you left
Before I was ready to let go
for that
i will always hate you
because you broke my heart

i dont live in new york
i never have
thats just not where i reside
im a tenant paying rent
inside of myself
im a voice thats screaming  on the inside
never seen the light


i dont live in new york
i never have
thats just not where i reside
ive got two windows
but you probably will see them as my eyes
they cant be opened cant be used
cant feel the wind on my face

i dont live in new york
i never have
thats just not where i reside
i might just think to much
im a dreamer
whos just pulling
at the seems trying to learn why

she is green
like the jealousy she seethed with
she was attached to the hip
at least that's what they all said
but in reality
she wanted to be him
to be best friends with me

he is blue
like the tears that escape him
he was my best friend
he is si depressed he steals his own heart beat
from me
from his family
from a planet that didn't love him

she is green
like the grass that grows on his grave
like the trees that line a meadow just for him and i
and she does not wait long
to replace his heartbeat
filling the quiet meadow
that i only shared with him
with sounds of anger and sadness
leaving its sacred ground broken

he is blue
like the flowers on his casket
as hes lowered into the dirt
like the blue bells that grew in our meadow
taken from me entirely
lost to me
lost to his family
lost to a planet that never loved him
but when im alone
his screams find me
and i wonder back to the now tainted
meadow