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L Smida Nov 2012
I am tempted to find you
To ask you a question
I have to hear for myself
Your personal confession

I really have to know
Your opinion about me
Cause you're all I think about
The truth will set me free

Do you think about me
As much as I think about you
Please tell me now
Because I'm about to fall through

Through the cracks
Of a thing called sanity
If I find you
Will you hold back profanity

I'll admit that
I'm scared
And that I'm
no where prepared

But I feel like
I have to do this
Because I really want
A taste of your kiss
I have this feeling that if I find you, you'll want the same thing I want. But I have a habit of persuading myself and that's why I get so scared
L Smida Nov 2012
Driving through the parking lot
No cars to be found
I believe it could be Sunday
So I'll just walk around

Off to get coffee
But I think the malls closing
I order a drink
But the guy is opposing

Walk to a bench
And there I sat
Here comes Briz and Billi
But who the hell is that?

We sat on that bench
For some odd reason
We got the great idea
To commit some treason

We took that bench
Straight to the door
But the cops were there
And made us put it back on the floor

I sat on the ground
When a little kid came over
She was the cutest thing
But her mom wasn't sober

Mid thirties is what I assume
She hunted for what was missing
She sat too close behind me
And then we started kissing

She shoved me over
My back to the floor
On top she climbed
And out loud I swore

I put up a fight
Because I hadn't a clue
Why she picked me
To be the one to *****

I woke up gasping
And there for I panic
These dreams I have
Are too ******* manic

Why do I dream
Of such different matters
Waiting for my heart
To crash and shatter

I want to dream
About kittens and rainbows
But luckily for me
That's just not how it goes
Just another ****** up dream
L Smida Nov 2012
Why do I dream of you
Like nothing ever happened
This dream I had was the last straw
I woke up mind ******
And crying my eyes out
I appeared at your house
Because I was invited this time
With only a book bag on my back
A step inside
And the atmosphere is totally different
Good news to be spread around
Mostly about your mother
I smile at that
And you catch me in the act
We're a little awkward at first
With eye contact
I wonder into the other room
While you guys finish getting ready
You leave the room
Wearing an outstanding outfit
My apologies
I can't help but stare
When you return
It's just me and you now
And you lean me up against the wall
Ever so ****
And our noses touch
Our bodies touch
You attempt to kiss me
But my mind is in shock
For the last time we talked
You weren't the slightest bit interested in kissing
But now that your lips are on mine
I'm afraid my mouth won't function
You slowly pull away and try again
A twitch of my lips to try
But I'm still without breath
I can't think in this situation
I can't move
I can't kiss
Am I the only one with memories from before?
But when you back away to continue getting ready
You didn't notice how my lips didn't move
You smiled and you wanted me again
So I eased myself into playing along
We all talked
Me and you
Your mom and I
Your dad was there
But he never appeared
We talked about jobs
And the future
You all seemed even more perfect than before
And for you to accept me into that
Well, I think that's why I cried when I woke up
Because I'm not accepted
I'm not loved
And if you still have the desire to kiss me
Then please let pigs fly
I'm sorry to you
That I dreamed this dream
And I'm sorry to me
Because now I'm stuck thinking about it
I dream about her. Every night it gets stronger. What does this mean.
L Smida Nov 2012
I find myself going
To the place you might be
Putting myself out there
So you might see

But I know you're not looking
Not even a glance
You have a partner
I don't stand a chance

I don't know why I'm here
Seeking hope is my best guess
I just want something from you
With that will come success

Why do I think that?
Our time is done
You've moved on
And I'm no longer the one

What would I even say
If we came face to face
I act like I'm prepared
But I feel I can't embrace

All that I've rehearsed
Would be scared away
The instant your eyes met mine
Instinct would make way

I guess all I want
Is to know how you feel
No more lies
Can you be real?

Tell me that you miss me
Or that you hate my guts
Hoping you say you love me
That would be nuts

That's all I want
A simple confession
Would you take me back
Or would you increase my depression

Sometimes I wish
That I could read minds
Knowing what people think
Would reveal all kinds

If only I knew
I'd be able to react
With the right words
I could be exact

But I'll never know
What you all think
Because when have
I ever been in sync

I'm the outcast
That stands alone
I guess it could be
That my smiles never shown

Teach me how to smile
And maybe you can find
The quiet person
You all left behind
L Smida Nov 2012
It worked once
But it won't work again
What are the chances
I didn't even think it would work the first time
L Smida Nov 2012
A rough path it was
I walked through time
From end to end
I had to climb

I saw where we stood
On the corner of the block
I was so scared
To finally talk

My apologies to you
As you cracked a smile
Your arms around me
For a long while

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
On another block
Is where I appear

As our evening walk
Comes to an end
I am proud to say
You're more than a friend

You speak to me in a way
Where your body does the talking
It says I don't want to be alone
And so we kept on walking

A walk to your door
Under the porch light
You fear for me
To walk alone at night

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
A time where we froze
As the night grew sincere

It was close to Christmas
And we laid on the ground
I could tell that you wanted
My hand to be found

It took you a long time
To actually confess
And if you hadn't
I would've never guessed

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
This time I go back
To a time that was dear

We laid in the grass
And goofed off for hours
You actually dared me
To eat some flowers

And then one night
You pulled me down
Behind a building
With no one around

Your hand goes there
And makes me still
Never have I ever
Had such a thrill

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
I walk alone
Only to hear

You shout my name
Loud and clear
I turn and see
You running near

Into my arms
You hold on tight
The perfect hug
It feels so right

I wish you'd stay
But you have to go
I had feelings for you
I want you to know

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
Everyone knows that
Softball seasons here

I watch from behind
As she makes her way
Our eyes meet
With never a stray

She jumps into me
And I catch her flight
Her legs wrapped around me
And squeezed so tight

She never really knew
That I liked her a lot
I felt like I
Didn't have a shot

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
Walking on the tracks
You tell me your fear

You tell me your story
And with that I know
Your trust in me
Will surely grow

You keep going
Until there's no more to tell
And I'm pretty sure
For you I fell

But as the journey goes
I approach a new year
I should hold close
Those ones so dear

But that's the thing
With time and math
We all have
A different path

You lead yours
And I'll lead mine
And in the end
We'll be just fine
Each part represents a different person. I was walking through town and realized that in the town there are marks of time. Here I did this and there I did that
L Smida Nov 2012
I wish I had the guts
To show you all the cuts
Each and every line
A fully hidden shrine
Of all the words I never said
Of all the emotions I ever bled
Too shy to ever speak
So afraid of your critique
But the chance I have to take
For if I don't, I'll remain to ache
And so what if I fail
To this life I will prevail
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